.:: Melancholy ::.

Why oh why?
The sudden change in mood?
Why does simple lines of words can bring sadness to oneself?
Intuation? Paranoia? Negativity? Or simply... the truth?

Unsettled heartbeats..
Uneasy feelings...
A moment of happiness changes, in a simple beat...
Sadness in just one snap of the finger...

Maybe, just maybe... I'm just an idiot who tries too hard?
Maybe, just maybe... Everything was too good to be true that my heart was fooled?
The perfect happiness that I had always dream of was so close yet so far...

Melancholy... Enough said...

.:: Willing To Adapt To Changes ::.

Low tolerance
No Pressure
No Force
Give Space
Give Time

*Note Taken*

Things to do to adapt to the difference in person...
This, is a whole new person...

Unhappy? Unlikely... I'm just fine the way it is, just need to adapt to it...

.:: 5 0 12 12 4 ::.

I wanna apologise for the things I've done... I wanna start all over again... "Hi, I'm Hezwan..."

.:: Licensed To Revolution ::.

Date: Saturday, April 25th, 2009
Time: 1:00pm-8:00pm
Location: Gossip Bar (Parklane Mall / Paradiz Centre )
Tickets: 10 Smackaroos (SGD)

STILLRIVER
180
FULL PLEDGE MUNKEES
AFTER THE SKY
REALIZE
OVERTHROWN
OBJECTION OVERRULE
DESTROY ALL MONSTER
COMICSTRIP
RUDE DELIGHT
SHINE

.:: Wrap Up ::.

Allright, I guess that's about it for now... So yeah... Take care, thanks for comin' in...

Sorry once again to that person..

.:: Failed Plans ::.

Oh well... supposedly to go to Kelly Services with Yati.. but I guess she was tired from work... It's allright, I know how it feels.. No worries my dear.. U need ur rest anyways... So yeah.. today's plan didn't go well... didn't go at all... But the sessioning is still on...

Anyways, I was watchin' a couple of vids on youtube that cracked me up! So here I am, to share with u people some of the good laugh I had just watched.. So.. Here u go!

.:: Videos That You Should Watch ::.




.:: This is Ah-Ha, a Malaysian short Skit comedy show.I've just discovered them. ::.


.:: The Song About School ::.




.:: The One About "Meminang" ::.



.:: The One About Boybands ::.



.:: David Copperblaine ::.




I hope that u guys had enjoyed some of the video I've shared.. There's more to come.. and I'll write in further aight? For those who does come here to read.. I thank u so much! Aight.. take care for now.. cheers!

.:: Massive Postout ::.

Phew~! I just did about an hour or two of massive post out of my resume... Went onto jobsdb.com and look up at whatever jobs there is matching to my qualifications and just shoot out my resume to any companies who's hiring...

From Admin work to Customer Service/Relation to Hotel Line to Ice Cream Seller to Retail job... anything.. And I truly hope either one would just reply back to me... Tonight, I'm gonna go at it again... Job hunting with technology! Heh heh!

Hope for the best!

.:: 2 - 0 ::.

Man U won the match yesterday with 2 Goals... I'm just puttin' this as a topic cuz I have nothing much to write about on this Thursday morning.. Hey.. it's 7:52 in the morning! Anyways, yeah.. So Man U Fans.. I'm sure u guys are happy about that...

For those who do not know, I'm not a soccer guy... don't play soccer, don't watch soccer... The only reason why I was at SJC yesterday was just to enjoy the company of my friends cuz I was like friggin' bored at home... So yeah...

The usual bunch was there.. And well, it was allright... Got home a about 5 in the morning.. somewhere there? So yeah.. here I am... Ngast!

.:: Kelly Services Anyone? ::.

Gonna meet up with Yati later in the afternoon to head down to Kelly Services in Tampines... Gonna register myself so they can like look for a job for me... Yes.. Kelly Services is a job agency...

I'm gonna drop by to see how it is and register myself.. And after that... no idea!

.:: Kopi Peng, Fishball Noodle & Busy Street ::.

Most probably gonna head down to Beer Garden after Kelly Services... Or maybe after takin' a look at Tampines One... Been wantin' to see that mall.. so yeah.. Gonna go jalan jalan with Yati later... And then maybe have lunch or dinner at Beer Garden.. the usual hang out spot for me and Yati.. So yeah.. let's see how it goes from there...

.:: Equatorial Apartments ::.

Gonna head down to B's place after that to session with him... Gonna re write some stuff and maybe write a new song or somethin'... Don't know what's the plan but we're gonna do somethin' with our guitars... Hopefully we can lock down our materials so we can have some stuff to play during jamming this Sunday...

.:: Missing A Beautiful Potrait ::.

Oh where, oh where could she be?
I miss those times where we would just sit by the sea,
Evil mosquitoes sucking the blood out of me,
It doesn't matter as it was the night where I enjoyed with glee.

Singing with her voice while playing the guitar,
There's nothing better to do than to admire her from afar,
A lot of jokes, chatting and laughter together,
I wish I could just sit there, forever after.

Today, everyday and each day to come,
I hope that I won't be that guy "yang macam faham"
The feelings I have for her is undescribable,
Two words to describe her is Simply Adorable.

Photography, Paintings & Sculpture,
Those things she does, I can never be like her,
The feelings I have is oh so strong,
Sometimes I wonder, where did I go wrong?

Each day I hope, hope and pray,
That things would be better for us someday,
Missing you is all I can say,
Just want you to know that I'll be here to stay...

.:: Screen, Bed, Screen, Bed ::.

Look at the time (points out to the clock above this entry)... Most probably the time ur lookin' at will not be the time I'm typin' now.. but anyways.. it's like 11:11pm right now... And heck, the whole day.. was nothing.. but boredom...

Woke up, look at the laptop screen.. feel asleep in bed.. and then wake up.. the screen again.. type a bit here and there and then.. bed again.. and now.. Here I am.. It's a Wednesday and it's like, mid week? Holy shit, I gotta stop this boredom.. I truly hope that companies would actually hire people.. Dang! And yeah, I'm gettin' bored of this.. it comes to the point where I feel like killin' myself.. just for the fun of it.. but then, by killin' myself.. I wouldn't be alive to go through another day.. so. yeah.. fuck that shit.. hahaha..

.:: MSN Going Mad ::.

I don't know what's wrong with MSN.. but it seems that I've been gettin' a lot of weird messages from unlikely people... When I say unlikely.. meanin', the messages sent doesn't tally with the person.. I mean.. My decent friend wouldn't go around sayin'.. "Hey, wanna meet a horny girl.." yada yada bla bla.. and sometimes.. it's some slimmin' pills shit.. I'm tellin' ya people.. MSN is being controlled now! Damn spam!

And talkin' about being controlled.. Even Myspace is being controlled.. do u guys know that I'm lookin' at my myspace page...... In Chinese! Isn't takin' over our jobs enough? Now they want to conquer our internet space? Damn! And when I say my myspace is in chinese.. I know that some of u might be thinking.."Oh, u can change it on the settings" Well, I know.. duh! But the thing is.. I can't.. So yeah.. Chinese it is.. luckily I memorise that page.. make me look like a pro.. hahaha..

.:: Poor Li'l Artist ::.

Someone had a bad day... I can somehow know how it's like.. Hectic panic attack! Hehehe.. Don't worry my dear.. it will all be good.. just take it slowly, one thing at a time.. don't be pushed by the panic attack monster.. Just chill.. U will be.. O~~ Kay! Don't worry...

.:: Laggy Lappy ::.

God damn it.. what have my dad done to my laptop.. I mean, he have this habit of installing this and that.. and all the RAM boosters and what not.. I mean.. those things are suppose to be boosting the speed of the laptop.. but somehow it's slowin' things down.. and I fuckin' hate it.. I checked out the task manager.. and the amount of memory used for those programmes are insane! i mean.. whoa.. ur suppose to speed things up but damn!

It's really lagging.. and I hate it!

.:: Mass Shoutbox Reply ::.

• Arynne <-> Hey hey! Thanks for that.. thanks for linking me up! Ur the first in my talk box! hehehe.. Congratulations! hahaha

• Cherub-Chix <-> Well... hello there Miss Blog Stalker... hehe.. Thanks for dropping by!

• Mash <->Ah madness! Most real.. I kena call freak! What the hell! Hahahahah! Anyways, thanks for linkin' me up!

• Yoda <-> Hahahaha! No worries bro.. it's all good!

• Ra-fieex <-> Hey dude.. I've linked u up already! Yeah!

.:: SJC, Heavy Rain, How? ::.

Holy madness.. it's like puring heavily right now and Inn just messaged me, askin' if I'm on, to hang out at SJC... God damn it.. wrong timing... I mean, it's pouring hard man..

This is the conversation I had with him on Facebook Chat:-

Salihin

hp pon sort

sjc ai mai

11:26pmHezwan

Sini ngah hujan lebat beb

Aku anythin bro

it's ur call

11:26pmSalihin

tgk bolas

hujan lebats pe

11:26pmHezwan

sabar..

11:26pmSalihin

sini starting to rockafella skank

11:26pmHezwan

Ok.. false info

strong wind

hahah! Rockafella skank!

hahaha

siak siak

11:26pmSalihin

yeap ok sjc at midnite

11:27pmHezwan

siapa lagi turun bro?

11:27pmSalihin

berns, syads, zads, yans, hayls,?

11:27pmHezwan

Midnight.. abeh kau sampai kul berapa?

11:27pmSalihin

12 uh

11:27pmHezwan

Ada chance hujan siak.. tengah red skies

11:29pmSalihin

so lu on ke tak

11:31pmHezwan

on ah

abeh

kalau hujan lebat giler.. gua tak on ah

11:31pmSalihin

ok i will see u at 12 dont be late

knn abeh aku on sorang kat sjc?

11:32pmHezwan

Ok ah.. aku pun

Tapi most real bro.. sudah turun hujan

11:32pmSalihin

haiz

jiwa go je

11:33pmHezwan

heavy doks

11:33pmSalihin

jiwa man utd

11:33pmHezwan

Lebat giler!

11:33pmSalihin

heavy metal

\m/

go is the word

are u on

11:33pmHezwan

hotak kau

I am no!

hahahaha

Abeh hujan

11:34pmSalihin

hujan bawak umbrella dude

11:35pmSalihin

kalau tak nak takpa

:(

11:36pmHezwan

umbrella takde ah bro

11:36pmSalihin

hoodie ada

lu jiwa ke tak?

11:36pmHezwan

Jiwa members ah!

11:36pmSalihin

kalau lu jiwa gua jumpa lu kat meja 28

11:36pmHezwan

Basar kuyup untuk members ah!!

Hahaha!

tapi kan

giler kappa?!?!

Lebat maximus lah dok

dah sampai sana nak chill kat mana sia?

11:37pmSalihin

chill bawah shelter

11:37pmHezwan

Siak ah..

Aku on the way to SJC.. takde shelter sia

Oh well.. I'll guess I'll just go.. cuz it's fuckin' boring at home! I so need to get out! Don't worry Inn, u won't be alone.. that's for sure.. Hahah!

Aight.. that's it for now.. I shall return when I return.. So yeah..

Offheidesen!

"Give me the unfamiliar, my world of monocrhome...

Step aside, move along, keep on keeping on..

Dictate my heart's desire, this Earth is no longer home...

Step aside, move long keep on keeping on..."

Ola to all! I'm back... previously I was writin' in Facebook's Blog.. so.. yeah, to those who might have Facebook.. u can read up my recent blogs on my profile page.. It's the one to the left of the window.. so yeah...

Now, this Jack ass over here... Is me.. most of u would probably know me.. but some of u don't.. so yeah.. This is.. me!


.:: Tuesday Lalness ::.

It's 3:26pm right now... And it's a Tuesday.. now.. take a look at the date on my post.. and from my recent post.. Allright maybe not my recent recent post..but the last one.. I mean.. like.. holy shit! That's like a year ago! And readin' through everything.. I mean, almost everything.. it's like walkin' back into memory lane.. So much shit had happened.. things changed.. the people I hang out with change.. Relation with people change.. I mean.. wow.. When we go through the days, we wouldn't realise things but when u have something like a Journal or... a diary.. or for this case.. a blog.. u will see the changes...

I was like readin' back my stuff.. and laughin' and some shit that happened.. and I was thinkin' back of some of the "emo" parts I had in life.. It's like.. wow.. and I didn't realise I could write that good.. or.. at least what I think of it as.. (Most probably it's lame.. so yeah..)

It's a Tuesday and the days just happen to be a repetition.. cuz everyday. I'm like a hopeless fucker who just sits at home.. and worry about stuff.. damn it!

.:: Jobless Me ::.

Geez, it seems like it's really hard to get a job... Really not a good time to look for a job due to the recession and what not.. and it seems like people do not want to hire staff.. Many of my other friends are havin' problems finding a job too.. And another reason is that... those who came to our land.. is takin' our jobs as well.. Immigrants.. They come here.. they get OUR jobs.. even when they don't even know how to speak friggin' English! How hard is it to speak a simple English? Especially.. those who came from China.. No offense.. but these goons.. come here.. with no knowledge of English.. gets the job.. I mean.. wow.. English is like the number one language in the world.. but no.. these bunch of fuckers thinks that their li'l chinese language is so fuckin' divine.. that they don't bother to learn English.. Fuckin' hell... Customer Service.. and u don't speak english.. what fuck is that?

And I can say that some of the employers here are fuckin' racist.. Lookin' at colours to hire.. fuck u! U can put one Chinese, one malay and one indian dude waitin' outside the interview room.. And u can see.. the favouritism in race... Malay guy goes in.. a couple of minutes.. he's out.. lookin' dissapointed.. and then the Indian guy goes in.. takes a li'l longer.. and then he goes out.. lookin' dissapointed.. and then.. these Chinese from China.. walks in.. Speakin oh so loudly in his thick unable-to-make-out chinese... And then, he walks out.. smiling... So yeah.. what does that show.. Fuckin' hell.. A li'l bit unfair here? Hello? We're suppose to be one people, one nation? What ever happen to that? Fuckin' bastards!!

.:: Moving On ::.

I guess it's really that time for me to move on... This is like.. no longer that.. "It's allright, we break up.. soon we gonna get back again..." This time.. it's the real shit.. And it's kinda hard for me.. I mean.. 5 years, people! It's been 5 years I've been with her.. and many of u would know who it is.. Hallie... so yeah.. 5 years together.. from the time I was still serving my NS.. to the days I had no job... to workin' as a delivery driver.. and then schoolin' in ITE.. and then that security job.. till today... That's like fuckin' long time.. the longest relationship I ever had!

We've been through our ups and downs together.. so much.. We argued with one another and then we make up.. From the first date.. till our lat arguement.. It's that long.. And finally.. it ends... I'm sad but somehow.. a li'l ok about it.. I mean.. it's for the good for the both of us.. I mean.. rather than.. splittin' up.. and then gettin' back together again and then argue and then split up again.. it's better to just.. put it to a stop.. I mean.. hey.. love is about enjoyin each other's company.. and to be happy with each other.. but from how things were.. it wasn't that way..

Love was definitely there.. even if we argue and stuff.. I know that we do love one another.. and it's a fact.. But we just had to do this to stop hurting one another ever again.. So break up it is... Many would hear stories about her.. some know her existance only by her name.. and some.. don't even know that she existed.. But honestly, she was an awesome gf but it's just that.. we had our differences.. 5 fuckin' years..... Wow!

Talked to her a few days ago.. and well, she sorta found someone to go out with.. it was this dude who's workin' in Singtel.. just opposite her workplace.. so.. yeah.. they sorta develope somethin'.. and they're like.. dating now.. And hearing that from her.. is like.. weird.. u know.. I mean.. it's weird because we've been together for 5 years and now i'm hearing that she's going out with another dude.. it's kinda.. weird and... well.. sad..

Told her about my feelings.. and she was saying that I should try to move on too and open up my heart to someone new.. She say that it will help to move on.. and we both agreed that it's hard for us.. and of course, we do miss one another.. but some things just had to be done..

And so she asked.."How about u, have u found someone?" At this point.. I don't really know.. but I guess I did.. No.. wait... I did found somone.. and I'm sure about my feelings towards her.. I like her a lot... It's just that she's sorta like.. not ready yet... So I gotta slow down and take it slow.. Anyways.. I replied back to Hallie.."Well, sorta.. I found someone.." Then she said.. "Good.. go ahead.. u should go on.. open up ur heart.. It will help us both to move on.." Well, easier said than done... But I want to move on.. and I need u to do that.. I want u to do that.. but if time is what u need.. then time is what u shall get.. I'll give u the space u need.. What I do know that I'll be here always.. waitin' for u if u need me...

Well, I'm happy for Hallie.. She sounded so.. happy.. I guess she found a better guy.. that's good.. at least I know she's well taken care of...

.:: Random Videos ::.



This is Paris In The Making, one of the beautiful local bands here





Optimus Prime singing Plain Sunset's "Find A Way"


Allright, this is the end for today's post.. I'll write in again soon... Cheers!

Hey hey! Guess who's back? I'm back.. hahaha.. it's time to resurrect this li'l bloggy... Well, I revamped everything.. and I've lost all my links to the other bloggers.. BUT... don't worry.. I'll get it back... ermm........ somehow.. I guess.. hahah!

That's right.. a dodgy me, in my room.. typin' out my blog in my blog.. And oh my god, lookin' back in my archives and reading back everything... Holy mutha fuckin' shit! Shit load of memories! I mean.. WOW! It's like.. somehow.. a li'l disbelief.. like.. "Whoa.. shit.. did that all happen?" And duh! of course it did.. but it's just like a small disbelief.. hahahha..

Allright.. this is a test run for the return of blindedheart... so yeah.. I'll write in more.. so.. yeah..

Cheers!