.:: UNDYING MEMORIES ::.

For all these years of togetherness
I'd like to say thanks for being honest
I'm not the same Wan as back then
When we were a punk rock band

Ups and downs we've been through
Not forgetting thick and thin too
Grew up together in music
One thing's for sure,
Fir never fails to break his sticks

From Zat to Tweet
Who plays the bass, pretty neat
As creative as he can be
And the youngest from the three
Starting off as playing lead
Creating basslines that's super sweet

From four to five
Another energy that keeps it alive
Shout & Scream
Fad's the new guy
who gets to live his dream

The only guy with the difference
B is what we call him for reference
Putting words into music as expressions
Of his feelings and emotions
Keeping his guitars always in tune
The waiting game, we are so immuned

I'd like to thank for all the years
Of memories that I'll always keep near
We are the same, just like the rest
Playing with u guys, is always the best

For all these years of togetherness
I'd like to seek for your forgiveness
For all the wrong that I have done
I'm saying sorry, as it is time
For me to be gone

- Hezwan ( 1997 - 2005 )

.:: DOWN THE SLOPE, AGAIN ::.

Things been goin' fine except the fact that my dad's just got warded into the hospital again. Didn't got the chance to update this shit so yeah... My dad went under the knife last week and thank god that everythin' went out okay. He was a li'l weak at first when he just got out of the operation theatre... But after that he was okay.. My life's pretty much on the waves again... Lotsa shit is goin' on right now and I've been thinkin'.... thinkin'... and more thinkin'...

.:: UNITS, BATTALION, DIVISION ::.

Army... What fuck is that?! Here in Singapore, it means, it's wayang... and more wayang.. NS Life is nothin' but... WAYANG! Must be kilat in this, in that.. Whatever fuck that is.. Why do u need to be so fake in the army world? Well, it's simple... to survive... Fuck that shit.. The actual meanin' to SAF.. Serve And Fuck off... it's really true when they say that...

.:: GOIN' DOWN UNDER ::.

Somebody's goin' away down under and that saddens me.. But it'll only be for two weeks, So what if it's two weeks, it's still quite a long time.. That someone just couldn't let me go, just hard to let me go. *sigh* Hope that she will enjoy herself down there while she's there.. Just take care of urself and try to enjoy okay? And please, don't worry about me.. I'll be fine... I'll take care if u take care... that's for sure...

.:: THOU SHALL CHOOSE:- THOU LOVE, THOU FAMILY OR THOU FRIENDS ::.

It's really tough when u have lots to choose and to satisfy. No one's perfect and I ain't perfect, that's for sure.. I've been tryin' hard but I simply can't satisfy all... I can't make everyone happy, why?! Why can't I?! Why can't I just simply satisfy all at once.. Why must there be a split in timing, the days.. and everything.. I can't choose... If i do a li'l too much on this side.. the other side wouldn't be happy. I've been tryin' to level out all equally but I just can't.. I guess that I know how pluGGy felt when she said that she felt that she's outta place when she hangs out with us.. Now i know how she feels... Cuz I'm feelin' that way right now.. I'm hangin' out less with the boys cuz the last time I tried hangin' out... I felt totally out, totally off, totally outcast. I missed out on things, it's like I'm no longer in the group, it's like I'm an outsider. New news that I not know off, new stuff that I don't even know. And these days, whenever I talk to them, i really feel awkward, a total awkwardness. it's like, I'm bein' plastic whenever I talk to them. And when u don't call them or get news from them, u'll get fucked or maybe anyone from the group would get pissed off by the fact that u don't call them or at least message them. i know that it's hard for them to reach me, yeah and at that point, it's my bad, totally cuz they can't reach me and i should call them. i don't know what to say, I can't satisfy anyone anymore. I feel empty these days. Total emptiness.. And thus, the status of MIA came about... I'm so called, Missing in Action. Sometimes, when I pick up that phone to dial their numbers.. I just put it back down cuz I simply don't know what to say and sometimes I just feel awkward.. most probably, there are some guys out there that's readin' this blog is gettin' their blood boiled or something. I have no intention of doin' that, I'm just expressing my views. i spoke to some of u before, I'm not good at expressing my feelings or views outside, so here I am. To all that's affected, I'm really sorry, I'm tryin' to make things right but struggling. Not only my friends, my family too... I got bored of my family although my dad's is in my concern right now... They say that family bond can't be broken, it's true but trust me, it's fuckin' hopeless at this point that I'm givin' up on them. My family is no longer like a family now... My home, isn't like a home anymore... I just gave up...

.:: MR. LONELY ::.

Currently, I'm feelin' as though I have no one else to turn to besides HaLLiE and even so, she can't do much and in fact, she's feelin' guilty... She feels as if that she's at fault for all of this to happen. But i don't think that way.. it's my own bad.. my own stupid badness.. my spoilt choices.. ARGH! I don't know what else to express in here anymore!

.:: SCREAMING IN SILENCE ::.

Whatever it is... ARGH!!!!~~~~~~ Enough of typin' this shit... i'm outta here.. I'm sorry to all, I can't be perfect... I can't satisfy all.. I'm not the ONE... i'm sorry once again...

.:: Paisehness For The Errors And A Thousand Apologies ::.

First and foremost, I'd like to say, SORRY FOR THE ERROR IN THE PICTURES SECTION... Hehehe.. Cute one Nora.. I don't know why, but when I just realise that the picture that says, "Nora's 21st Birthday" and it comes out another stuff.. i was crackin' myself up.. and same to u too Irma.. Picnic picture jadi Zoo! hahaha.. Okay, most real, I've made ammendments and now everythin' is back to normal and all is in the right sections.. So yeah.. can check out the pics..

.:: Please Stand By ::.

It's a Saturday, but my mind's not free cuz I'm on stand by for some stupid Mobilisation.. i think it's called, Final Surprise.. or somethin' like that. It's a silent activation.. Hopefully they do not call me up.. Cuz I don't wanna waste my Saturday doin' the stupid shit.. All I have to do now is just wait for that call.. And once I received that call I have to be in came by M+2... Which means, two hours after the call.. i have to report in came... damn it.. Stupid army, waste of time!!

.:: Under The Knife ::.

My dad's goin' for his operations soon. This Monday, he'll be admitted to Hospital to have a good rest and all that monitoring stuff... On Tuesday, he'll be going for a minor operation.. They'll be puttin' that camera tube into his stomache to check for the stones in his liver.. Next next week, he'll be goin' under the knife of the surgeon.. I'm kinda worried.. anythin' can happen. I just hope anf pray for the best. *sigh*

.:: License Up For Grabs ::.

Guess what? I've reached my 7000 mark.. Meanin'? Well, the doors to the free license is up for grabs.. BUT.. there's a but to it.. I don't know if I would get that license once I ORD... I mean, if u guys were to read my blog, u guys should know right? I mean, many many accidents = big bad record.. So i don't know if I would get it.. Just hope for it..

.:: Tag Replies To All ::.

Nora :- hehehe, Sorry girl, I don't know what happened to the stupi thing.. Some faults in the HTML... Sorry and paiseh many many!

Nur Khairani :- Heya! Thanks for replyin'.. Anyways, yeah, SHATEC.. WAS from there.. I've added ya.. So aight, cheers!

DaneIsha :- Miss D.. That u? Anyways, NO.. MIRCO settings wasn't on at all. That's pure plain settings shot.. Wait, are u sayin'.. Mirco.. or Micro? But either ways.. no settings was turned on.. plain shot...

ina :- Hey ina! Thanks for the compliments on the title.. that was the supposedly Demo Title.. Which is.. actually our Demo Title.. For the last demo we did.. "A Thousand Miles The Wrong Way".. Anyways, thanks...

Irma :- Hey darlin'! Hehe.. Sorry girl, there was a mistake in the HTML... I've put in the wrong codes.. Anyways, everything's all fixed up.. now u can grab the pics if u want to.. Aight? Cheers!

.:: Closing ::.

As usual, I gotta go.. take care peeps and please, do come back and read if there's any updates.. So for now, take care, BYE BYE!

.:: Death Of A President ::.

Wow! Madness, the former president, Mr. Wee Kim Wee... is no longer around... And yesterday, being the duty driver for the day, I was activated and this ops was called.. Operation White Star.. This happens when a "White Horse" dies.. So a big hoo ha happens. Most of the units were activated back to camp.. Being a Post Labour Day holiday... It was fucked up... All the big shots were there to take control of the situation.. To handle all the procedures and all the drills of carryin' the coffins and stuff.. And they just had a rehearsal two weeks ago.. And this happens.. the real deal.. One minute of silence for the Former President...

.:: Duty Off ::.

If ur wonderin' why I'm home today, well, it's because I did duty yesterday, which is... a holiday.. For that, they're givin' me a one day duty off.. Wow! It's kinda amazin' to get an off cuz when ur in MT Line, offs are really hard to come by, being an active units full of details. I'm just sick of that stupid place.. Ngast!

.:: Updated Pictures ::.

If u guys noticed, there's updates in the photo gallery... Some of 'em are pics that was taken like... two months ago.. I think.. so u guys can check it out.. and the most recent update is the memory lane shit.. It's pictures of my band in the younger days... Feel free to check it out...

.:: Display Pics ::.

The four pictures u see up there are my works... The first two was this beautiful sunrise that I saw when I woke up. The first thing I saw, was this.. Beautiful ain't it? The next two.. the one with the enter sign and the one with "A Thousand Miles The Wrong Way".. are some of the many pictures that I've editted.. The one with the white background, that was the supposedly website cover for No Direction... but it was called off...

.:: A Li'l Poem About Love ::.

Something that I found in my old folders... Here's one.. which is so true...

Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone,
who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces,
so you could be whole again...
it's just a matter of when that person will appear...

.:: A Poem By An Angel ::.

Another poem I found somewhere in my old folders... It was from Shammie... A regret that I have for ditchin' her.. I'm sorry Shammie...


Dear BIGguy_ND,

I miss you so much
that my heart is aching
Every day I think of you
and all the magical
places you took me
When you're near
I feel complete
but when you're away
I feel as if a part
of me is missing
Remembering all the
good times we had
and all the passionate nights
spent in the erotica
of each other's soul's
the memories return to leave me
feeling as tho I'm dying
I'm simply unable to face life
with this feeling of my
soul mate far from me
Please return to me at once
and tell me that you
love and miss me too
There's not a shred
of doubt inside me
I know I want to spend
my life with you
I can't wait until we can make
the reunion of our passionate
intwined soul's once again
like we did since the beginning
you know in your heart
How much I love you

.:: Farewell To All ::.

That's it for today.. I'm outta here.. Cheers!