.:: DOWN THE SLOPE, AGAIN ::.

Things been goin' fine except the fact that my dad's just got warded into the hospital again. Didn't got the chance to update this shit so yeah... My dad went under the knife last week and thank god that everythin' went out okay. He was a li'l weak at first when he just got out of the operation theatre... But after that he was okay.. My life's pretty much on the waves again... Lotsa shit is goin' on right now and I've been thinkin'.... thinkin'... and more thinkin'...

.:: UNITS, BATTALION, DIVISION ::.

Army... What fuck is that?! Here in Singapore, it means, it's wayang... and more wayang.. NS Life is nothin' but... WAYANG! Must be kilat in this, in that.. Whatever fuck that is.. Why do u need to be so fake in the army world? Well, it's simple... to survive... Fuck that shit.. The actual meanin' to SAF.. Serve And Fuck off... it's really true when they say that...

.:: GOIN' DOWN UNDER ::.

Somebody's goin' away down under and that saddens me.. But it'll only be for two weeks, So what if it's two weeks, it's still quite a long time.. That someone just couldn't let me go, just hard to let me go. *sigh* Hope that she will enjoy herself down there while she's there.. Just take care of urself and try to enjoy okay? And please, don't worry about me.. I'll be fine... I'll take care if u take care... that's for sure...

.:: THOU SHALL CHOOSE:- THOU LOVE, THOU FAMILY OR THOU FRIENDS ::.

It's really tough when u have lots to choose and to satisfy. No one's perfect and I ain't perfect, that's for sure.. I've been tryin' hard but I simply can't satisfy all... I can't make everyone happy, why?! Why can't I?! Why can't I just simply satisfy all at once.. Why must there be a split in timing, the days.. and everything.. I can't choose... If i do a li'l too much on this side.. the other side wouldn't be happy. I've been tryin' to level out all equally but I just can't.. I guess that I know how pluGGy felt when she said that she felt that she's outta place when she hangs out with us.. Now i know how she feels... Cuz I'm feelin' that way right now.. I'm hangin' out less with the boys cuz the last time I tried hangin' out... I felt totally out, totally off, totally outcast. I missed out on things, it's like I'm no longer in the group, it's like I'm an outsider. New news that I not know off, new stuff that I don't even know. And these days, whenever I talk to them, i really feel awkward, a total awkwardness. it's like, I'm bein' plastic whenever I talk to them. And when u don't call them or get news from them, u'll get fucked or maybe anyone from the group would get pissed off by the fact that u don't call them or at least message them. i know that it's hard for them to reach me, yeah and at that point, it's my bad, totally cuz they can't reach me and i should call them. i don't know what to say, I can't satisfy anyone anymore. I feel empty these days. Total emptiness.. And thus, the status of MIA came about... I'm so called, Missing in Action. Sometimes, when I pick up that phone to dial their numbers.. I just put it back down cuz I simply don't know what to say and sometimes I just feel awkward.. most probably, there are some guys out there that's readin' this blog is gettin' their blood boiled or something. I have no intention of doin' that, I'm just expressing my views. i spoke to some of u before, I'm not good at expressing my feelings or views outside, so here I am. To all that's affected, I'm really sorry, I'm tryin' to make things right but struggling. Not only my friends, my family too... I got bored of my family although my dad's is in my concern right now... They say that family bond can't be broken, it's true but trust me, it's fuckin' hopeless at this point that I'm givin' up on them. My family is no longer like a family now... My home, isn't like a home anymore... I just gave up...

.:: MR. LONELY ::.

Currently, I'm feelin' as though I have no one else to turn to besides HaLLiE and even so, she can't do much and in fact, she's feelin' guilty... She feels as if that she's at fault for all of this to happen. But i don't think that way.. it's my own bad.. my own stupid badness.. my spoilt choices.. ARGH! I don't know what else to express in here anymore!

.:: SCREAMING IN SILENCE ::.

Whatever it is... ARGH!!!!~~~~~~ Enough of typin' this shit... i'm outta here.. I'm sorry to all, I can't be perfect... I can't satisfy all.. I'm not the ONE... i'm sorry once again...