The most fucked up thing just happened. The warnin' letter from ITE just came in and it's pretty fucked up... It's a warnin' letter for missin' classes.. and which is.. ESS.. Just for one fuckin' subject...thanks ah eh...

Baby, if ur readin' this, I'm sorry I'm tryin' to sleep but I just can't.. I had to blog in... I promise u that I'll sleep after this... It's 2:37am right now.. and it's so fucked up.. First of all, my dad came into the room and started askin' me... "Did ur teacher say anythin' about coming to school late?" And I just replied no.. I said no because I'm hoping that he would not nag about all this shit..And well I told him, it's nothing, nothing happened as to avoid nagging sessions by him... And I told him it's just a small matter cuz it's just one subject and I'm not even debarred from the exams..which is..a good thing ain't it?

Then came in my brother, the biggest asswipe ever..why doesn't he just fuck off from here? Go get married as soon as u can and just fuck off! Holy shit, what a big fucker he is... He came into the room and starts nagging at me..and both my dad and brother said the same shit..."Ur repeating SHATEC all over again.." In my mind, what the fuck?! SHATEC was a course that wasn't even in my interest and as for this, I love this course..the subjects are subjects that I wanna learn about..not like shatec..I came in there cuz I had no where to go.. and fuck that shit..I skipped classes because I hate the subjects...as for this ITE case..it's not even that I wanna skip it on purpose..I mean..fuckin' hell, I woke up late..and I miss class...and now they thought that I'm skipppin' class...WHAT THE FUCK?!? What's up with that shit?! Ermm.. hello? It's multi media here..Something that I love to learn about and why can't they see that? Holy shit, what do they need, a log book? My brother's an asshole, that's for sure! He was sayin' something about "How can we trust u hezwan, u told us a lie... When I asked u what time u start, u would say that today it will start late.." Well, hello, the only reason I said that was because I do not wanna hear u nag.. that's why.. cuz ur bitch ass mouth can't shut up once u start..the actual fact is that I missed class because I WOKE UP LATE!

For cryin' fuckin' loud! And the part where he mentioned that I'm still a kid and sayin' things like I said I'm all grown up and stuff.. well fuck that shit..I may act like a kid, I may do things that not many adults would do.. so what? I do think like one.. and that is all that matters.. Hey, I'm young at heart and I still want to have fun... unlike them who's so god damn serious about stuff... Fuck that! I'm tellin' u peeps, with god's will, I hope one day that I'll be successful in life, have a proper job and earn well and that's when I'll show them what I've been doin... Especially to my stupid brother... I wouldn't even want to look at him.. If I had to, I'll spit on him if I earn better than him... Just because he have a job with good pay and all that shit, he seems to be looking down on me... And everytime, he will always act as if he's the smart one in the family... fucker!

I'm really thankful I have my baby with me.. and of course my friends.. all in all, My beautiful baby, my Bella family and of course my crew in class... Thanks to these bunch of people, my stress level ain't that bad.. they're the ones that cool me down or keep my mind off things.. and most real, I dare to say this...My gf and my friends knows me waaaay better than my family does.. They know shit about me.. All these while, they might think that I never think about stuff... well, ur wrong! I look happy and all joy on the outside but what's on the inside, do they even fuckin' know?! My dad, his money.. my mom's sickness..my dad's condition, the fuckin' house.. my own money to spend, my savings needed for many things (recording, future purposes, marriage )... Well, it's all running in my head but it's just that I don't wanna be some party pooper and show my problems to others and make them worry about me...I don't want that..that's why I put up a mask and act all happy towards everyone...

Those who knows me well would know the real me... And they can really spot if there's something wrong with me even though I hid it well under that happy mask of mine... Not sayin' that I'm like the only one with problems, I'm sure some of u out there are full of it and I might say that some are even worse than mine... I'm just sharing my side of the story..letting out my frustrations by blogging. Hopefully u guys don't mind...

Tomorrow's the fuckin' phase test..and I have to be in class by 8:30am... FUCK! That's fuckin' early..

And baby, I love u so much dear, don't ever leave me.. Cuz I need u here with me... Ur so part of my life now that I would be at lost if u ever go away dear... I love u so much baby!

Well, the time's like 2:52am, better get my fuckin' sleep before I miss my class again just because I couldn't wake up and get the fuckin' accusations of SKIPPING classes.. Well, for ur fuckin' info brother, I've heard from others that there are those out there who got tons and tons of warning letters but they're still not out of the school..and the best part... they somehow graduated! It's not like I don't do my fuckin' work in school.. I do miss classes but I do my work as well... So what do they have to complain about? Fuckin' hell... Fuck this shit, I'm out!