This next few entries are from the diary I wrote...Enjoy reading...

Monday, January 12th, 2004

*sigh* Another day in the army,life is pretty fucked up when ur in camp. Tekong's kinda nice but some things...simply ain't as nice as being at home. I dragged myself to Pasir Ris Interchange yesterday for the booking in. Now I know how B feels when he was in BMT. It really sucks. Jammed with No Direction yesterday at Carudi's in Boat Quey and the feeling of not being able to slack with them really sucks. Saying goodbye was kinda sad cuz I only get to see them once a week now. Seeing lesser of everyone and I really missed them.

No Direction Family,#emo kids,BK Slackers,First Chapter... Missed them all. HOw I wish I could have the time like how I had it the last time... Free as a bird.

Ain't got any news from Nina and it has been almost a month,the same period as how long I've been in here.

Just got a message from Nina right after my lunch break. Right now,I'm having admin time(Admin time,meaning...Free time) till 4:30 and it's only 1:50. Long rest to wonder and think of what's to become. I deserve the treatment Nina's givin' me and she have all the rights to be mad at me. I can't blame her cause it's my fault. I'm missing her...a lot. As days goes by,my morale is slowly going down. I'm stuck in this shit for a few more months before I get posted out to a unit. I don't know what to do,should I keep on trying to work things out with Nina? Or should I drop the idea and move on like what I've been doing for the past few relaionships I had?

Got to know this girl through a wrong message sent on the phone. She was sending a message to her friend but somehow it ended up on my phone. So,I made the move to know her. I learnt that she's 17,livin' in Bukit Batok and schoolin' in ITE Clementi. Could this be some kind of a sign? I don't know and I can't say and I'm afraid to even try to put in effort to begin a new realtionship. Been hurt and been failing. I fell waaay to much and one day...I can't even pick myself up to move on...

Tuesday, January 13th, 2004

Time now is roughly 10:30am,can't see the company's clock from afar. Right now,my platoon is sittin' at the training shack,waitin' to go for our first grenade range. We'll be using dummies...of course.

Earlier in the morning,the whole company was fucked cuz our bunks and toilets were not up to standard. After comin' back from our morning brisk walk,the CSM "Tekan" us big time. Everyone sweated like mad. My morale was brought down once again. Felt like wetting my eyes with tears but I hold it in. I was thinking of home and how I missed everyone.

Right now,I'm feeling a li'l bit better than how I was before. We might be having a stand by bed in a while and if it ain't up to the CSM's standard,we're fucked. Meaning...confinement. No booking out this weekend.

2:00pm:- Just came back from that stupid range and went to lunch. Saw a couple of new enlistees with their families,somehow...that reminded me of the day I enlist. Right now,we're waitin' again to go back to that stupid grenade range. I'm feeling shagged and body's achin' all over the place. I just wished this stupid army shit ends. I wished that they would at least give us a day to rest. I feel as if I'm losin' my mind or somethin'.

Wednesday, January 14th, 2004

11:40am:- Three days had past and this is my third day here,only the third day and boy,it sure does feels so slow and like I've said before,time goes oh-so-slowly. Muslim eaters have to wait cuz the canteen's being used by those enlistees again. 1 o'clock, that's the time to fall in. Everybody's packin' up their stuff for IFC (Individual Field Craft)

I recieved an SMS from p|uGGy after a long time of not hearin' from her. I seriously missed her and I can't do anythin' about it since I'm in this stupid place. Amidst the waitin',I was thinking of the times I had with p|uGGy...memories just sets in my mind of those moments. For now,I guess I have to focus on this shit first... Gotta go and pack up my SBO...I'll write in again...

Thursday, January 15th, 2004

Yesterday was one hell of a day... Trainin' was tough and I was all shagged up. Got a message from p|uGGy yesterday and it was great to hear her voice plus Mik's voice. Cute li'l bugger.

Right now as I'm writin' this entry,I'm in a middle of the forest somewhere in Tekong. Saw two wild boars while marchin' and they were huge! Ran past us like a bullet, glad it didn't ram any of us. This field lessons gonna go on till evenin'...I think...Gotta go and pay attention,I'll write in again...

Just had lunch and boy, the queue was god damn long. New enlistees came in again, so there was their parents and all, that's the reasong why the queue was long. I'm back in the fields again, learnin' how to manouvuer and fire. Everyone in my platoon is goin' through fatigue. It's a long way to go...one more day...

Time now is roughly 10:48 and it's past my lights off time. Everybody in my platoon always look forward to night time cuz that's when we can rest and do whatever we want to. Right now, I'm laying on my bed,messaging Nisya while writin' down this entry. I have only one more day to go...just...one...more...to book out.

Friday, January 16th, 2004

Damn,it feels so god damn slow. Havin' a lecture now,waitin' for the OC to come over and give us a talk. Gettin' kinda noisy in here... It's all about discipline. Discipline this,discipline that...Fuck discipline, we're bein' treated like dogs here. Rushin' time,jammed up schedules... This week had been one hell of a week. Heavy trainin', that's the word. There's more in store... Two more months to go. I'll be havin' IFC again after lunch... There's a test on camouflaging... Which means that we have to pluck out those leaves from our surroundings and blend in so that enemy can't see us. Lasy day to endure before bookin' out. I heard rumours that we're bookin' out in the mornin' tomorrow. I hope that everything goes well. Be back again durin' my free time. Before that, I just learnt that one of my platoon mate is someone who knows Ainun. A familiar name without a face and now, it has. Firdaus, the guy who I chatted with about Ainun years back is no now in the same platoon. Small world huh? Who knows, the next thing...a distant relative or somethin' is in my platoon too? hehehe. Talkin' about Ainun, she'll be turnin' 20 tomorrow. January 17th...her birthday... It's still in my head even after 4 years of not keepin' in touch with her. All the best to her...Once again,Be back..

I'm back again, after a long day. Had that camouflaging test and I, somehow failed on the concealment station. I didn't break the outline of my body well. My whole section was covered up with mud and we were all dirty. Had fun in all, although the aftermath kinda sucked. Had to clean off the mud stains. Some of the guys in my section are asleep while some others are either messagin' or talkin' on the phone or one another. The bond in my section is gettin' stronger each day. Reminds me of the show, Band Of Brothers.

Right now, I'm messagin' Nisya while writin' this entry. SMSed Ainun just now to wish her a happy birthday but I don't think she would even wanna hear from me. Pulled through the week,survived and endured and somehow, I earned this book out... CHEERS!