Yesterday...after bein' frustrated and all with my home...I went jammin'...It was a last minute thing and we jammed around evenin' time. It wasn't a good jammin' cuz it's like...I wasn't focused at all...My splits went off and my vocals totally off key...My mind was set on something else..Home..After jammin'...B,Tweet and Sofyn set off to town to meet up with Mon and Sya while Dzafir head down to bazaar to work and me...headin' home. While walkin' back home,I was thinkin' lotsa things about what I feel all this while.

I've been a bad son and all...being the reason maybe...I wasn't doin'..what they were askin' me to do. As i walk somemore..I was like saying to myself..."God,how did this happened? How did my family turned out this way?" Thoughts,questions...answers to look out for...can't seem to find it. Maybe it's right there in my face but I'm just to stubborn to see it. They may be here now..and I would be rebellious towards them..but what if they're no longer around? Silence will take over... No more shoutin' of my mom's voice..or my dad's lectures...or my grandma's naggin'... Soon it's all gonna be missed somehow. I should start doin' good from now...appreciate them while they're still around...love them..while I still have the chance to do so.. If I still have the chance to somehow,make them proud..I would and I will try...What more can I ask for? Why am I always complaining? They're givin' me all that a child would love to have... A home to stay (although it's not like any other homes),computer for me to play games or chat with friends,a handphone being paid by my dad...My mom's cookin'..my grandma's old stories and knowledge that she shares with me...money,clothes...everything...and I'm being such a bitch,most of the time. I should change...Been tryin' to...

Fastin' month is soon to be over...today's the last day...And raya's comin' up. Surveyed for my baju kurung and somehow..I got my size...in a shop where my friend works... I asked him to hold it for me till i have the dough by today(surveyed it yesterday)... Got a grey one in the end...

Many fasting months had pass every since I was born. From a baby,to a kid,to a teen and now I'm going into adulthood... Every morning,when i'm sleepin'..and if I'm sleepin'...I would wake up to this voice..."Wan,bangun wan..dah pukul lima dah ni...nanti terlepas sahur..cepat belum imsak ni.." And I would get a nudge from my grandma..and if I don't wake up..she would shout even louder just to irritate me but that's all for good. And most of the time...she would lie about the time just to make me wake up. She would say that it's 5 plus and it's close to imsak time when the actual fact is that..it's only like 4... I don't know how long more will that voice will always be around...no one knows except god... If she goes away,that particular voice which is somewhat a routine sound every fastin month will just be a thing of the past... A memory that will never be forgotten. I know,that I will cry hard if my grandma goes back "home"... She had always been there for me and thanks to her,I learn a few things...Things that not many people could teach or share about... If god allows it,I wish that she could spend few more fasting months and raya with us...

That's all I'll be writing about today...cheers!

"Treasure ur loved ones now,appreciate them cuz u'll never know just when...they might go...