Here's the entries I wrote while I was in camp last week:-

Wenesday, February 2004

Wow! It's been like three days since I last book in. Had my field camp on Monday and it ended on Tuesday. Okay, Let me rephrase that, it's part two of my field camp and overall, it was fun and learnt a few new things. Whenever we practise our movement, I imagined myself as being one of the guys from Easy Company in the show, "Band Of Brothers". There was one moment that we got our OC really, really mad. We were told to stand in "sedia" position and not move... that's what we did and it ain't a short stand. We stood there, tryin' not to move a single muscle for almost half an hour. It may sound as if it's nothin' but try this, stand still and not move in a sedia position for almost 30 mins... with webbin' on ur back, helmet on ur head and rifle slinged to the side. Durin' that 30 mins... one by one fell out due to the pressure and not being able to take it. I almost joined in but I endured and I nearly fainted. Thank god that nothin' did happen.

In the night at the field in my "basha" and in between the rows of rubber trees, I looked up into the sky and it was the best sight ever. Not even monet can buy that beautiful moment. It was a clear sky, no clouds coverin' that blacken sky and the grounds was ,lighted up by both moonlight and stars. It was beautiful, stars scattered all over the sky as if an artist sprinkle glitters onto his canvas as a background or somethin'. Bright stars, faded stars and other kinds of stars, you name it, it was there. There were a few that formed up in a line. You can't get this view from mainland, okay, maybe not can't get but once in a while.

While gazin' up, I no ticed the very same stars that 've been lookin' out for, for the past two years. It's still there, same formation and everythin' except that there are a few new stars formed up around them. These few stars are the stars that I gazed up with p|uGGy when I was with her, two years ago and that was in Bedok Skate Park. That was where those stars were first sighted by us.

My spirit was downed earlier in the day when I got a message fromp|uGGy. I messaged her sarcasticly that she always have to go and she's always busy to even reply me with one message. Okay, it's my own bad failt to say that to her and when she replied back by sayin' sorry to ignore me cuz she don't want complications to rise up again. I understand what she meant by that. What made me down was when she SMSed me,"Don't message me unless I message you..." That... Somehow broke my heart. I know it ain't a big deal to some but it's a big one for me. Is she pushin' me off? Is she goin' away? Drift apart and forget me? Maybe what she's doing is for our good? To help us both not have that feelin' anymore or should I say.. To help ME move on and forget what we had?

I know that I've been writin' about this for a long time and some of you guys might get bored of it but that's how I feel for her. I loved her and always will, even though I know I can't.

Maybe those new stars formed up near the stars that I gazed with her have meanings? Tellin' me to move on? There's others out there tryin' to "form" up betwen me and her... Question is, when will that one star appear and be here for me? Time will tell or maybe that I've already found her, it's just that I'm too blind to see?

Anyways, I'll be havin' on OC night tomorrow and I'll be performin' in a Dikir Barat group, can you believe this? Dikir Barat? ME?! Well, believe it, cuz I'm doin' it. There's like so many guys in my company that's from different Dikit Barat groups out there, so...it ain't a problem. There'll be other races joinin' in the show tomorrow, Indians & Chinese... Cool ey?

Thursday, 26th February 2004

Phew! The performance's done for. First time performin' in a Dikir group and it was a totally new experience. Used to hate dikir barat the last time due to th face that I find it..kinda lame and I know that is bad cuz it's like my own Malay culture but now, I find it nice and beautiful in a way. It ain't that easy cuz you have to memorise lyrics and steps. It's one thing that I now respect and it's one of my own culture which is... Dikir Barat.

That ain't the only thing I performed today, the Dikir Barat thing was the company's performance and the famous New Zealand All Black Haka dance was the other thing I did. I don't know how we looked like from the eyes of the other guys from the company that's watchin' our show. After all of the performance, we had fun and we so called, "party"... It was like in a club an that "club" was a basketball court. Loud music playin' from the stereo... hip Hop, RnB, Techno and a few other kind of music. It was madness and that wasn't the only madness... All of the recruits were busy lookin' for their own sergeants and leftenants to sabo. Each and everyone of the officers and instructors in our company got "sabo"-ed by us. Usin' black camo cream to wipe their faces and usin' water to get them really wet. It was fun, for a while.

Tomorrow, will just be another normal day. Back to our daily routines again. I heard that there'll be a 12 km route march this Saturday and that, we'll be bookin' out around 2 in the afternoon. Boring!

After the event today, I began to wonder and think... would these guys who suffered, laughed and had fun together with me fro the past two months or so still keep in touch with one another or would they just be another passer by in part of my life, just for memories? What my friends told me... is so true... "BMT is the best moment you'll have durin' your NS days, it's somethin' you'll never forget, so do treasure them.." Lookin' at each one of 'em, I told myself, "I'm gonna miss these bunch one day."

"From strangers to brothers, together we stand"

- 19th Echo 1 Slogan

Friday, 27th February 2004

Same bed, same window, same locker and same people. It's dead borin' here I tell ya. Be goin' for my route march tomorrow and it's a 12 click and that is one holy distance. Anyways, that ain't the thing that I wanna write about. It's about p|uGGy.. I was god damn happy when she called me... I get to chit chat with her for a while in the afternoon, right after I had my lunch. She called me up to ask for Alwee's number (Alwee is the guy that I hate for what he did to p|uGGy and he was the guy that was with her before me). p|uGGy wanted to fuck Alwee up for what he's doin' to her friend. He's talkin' cock & bull stories to this girl and causin' some problem. p|uGGy didn't like what he's doin' It's somethin' about Alwee makin' the girl look bad or somethin'. Whatever it is, I know that p|uGGy will fuck him up for what he did.

p|uGGy made my day... she made me smile somehow and boy, it was great to be able to talk crap with her for some time. Aight, gotta go... gotta have my rest, tomorrow's the BIG walk...