WHY MUST THIS FUCKED UP THING HAPPENED?!?! I hate my life for now..I fuckin' hate my mom... Yeah,I know,she's my mom...but fuck..her stupid mentality is like a fuckin' 4 year old. Stupid mother of mine. I can go crazy with this home. Everything I do..EVERYTHING I DO is so god damn wrong! Never there was a right even though I did something right at times. Yes,I Disappointed my dad because of my studies but fuck!! I know I'm bad in my studies,I know I took most of his money cuz I wasted it on my incomplete studies. 12k,Who wouldn't be diappointed... And I stole 300 bucks from him the last time. I'm a fucked up child... God! How sometimes I wish someone else would take me in as their step son or something. I feel fucked up in my home! I really really..wished that it is NOW..that I go to Tekong...And maybe my life would be taken away when I'm there. Maybe my mind would be on my training and all. Or maybe..what's best..God might just take me away durin' training...Who knows?

Met Nina this morning and that somehow made my day...Seeing her smile and being able to be near to her...Just made my day...Even though it was just for a while. I'm glad she was there to make me smile a li'l. She had to go off cuz she had to fetch her maid home. I just wished that the moment that I had with her,just never ends...Wished I could just sit there with her till night fall. I'm glad I met her.

I disappointed my dad,I stole his 300 bucks...I spoilt some of his things,I quarrelled against my mom,fought with her before...shouted at my gradma,many times...and in total..I've said vulgarities in their faces god knows how many times. That's how bad I am towards my family. The only thing that u guys never knew...Something that I pretend...

Somehow,it's like as if my mom have something against me. She keeps saying about my brothers,how good they are in their studies..bla bla bla..FUCK THAT SHIT! I'm stupid in my studies,I ain't good on books. By nature,I'm stupid! If ur talkin' about talents...I have that...Musically..I have but why can't my mom see that. My dad is proud of me,the words he said to me made me cry when he was lacturing me the other time..."All those times u played in shows and when u jam...I know u have a goal in music...and when I saw u play in Esplanade..I was proud of u..." Those words of his..simply took me away... All this while,I didn't know that anyone in my family would be proud of me in what I do and my dad proved me wrong. That day,was one of the saddest moments I had...I disapointed him and yet..he was still proud of me... That is why I love my dad more than my mom although I don't really show it maybe cuz of my rebellious nature.

I'm sorry dad,I may not be a good son...and I may have disappointed u...but one day..I'll prove to u that I'll be someone...maybe not someone big or extraordinary..but I WILL be someone..that I'll promise u dad...

To all,do take care...

CHEERs!