I'm feelin' sooo fucked up right now. I'm pissed off..God knows why... Maybe because of my stupid home. Never liked it since things go bad. And I mean bad...u guys wouldn't know what kind of a home I'm livin' in but only to those who are close to me,would know what it's like... The definition of PIG STY...would come into mind...I can't help it..it's hopeless... I grew tired of it. Raya? What's that? I no longer know the true meaning of Raya. I grew sick of it since it's the same 'ol fuck every single fuckin' year! My home...IS A MESS!!! Only when it's raya..only then everyone starts being busy...BULLSHIT!

Just now,something bad happened...And fucked I feel bad..not because of my mom..but my dad. They were waitin' for me downstairs cuz they bought some stuff home. So I went down and I suddenly I was like.."Fuckin' hell,that's load of shit there!" Suddenly I was kinda angry...for no fuckin' reason why...Carried the stuff up...went into the house...I realize that thing used behind my ears for my specs went missing...And For no reason..my blood shot up again and I was pissed..So I went outside lookin' for that stupid thing..and when I went back inside..I sorta slammed the gate..and my dad's hand was there...I was really bad... I hurt him.. He was askin' me what's wrong and I didn't response and now...I'm feelin' fuckin' bad... And my mom,have to open up her fucked up mouth and say fucked up things that makes me feel like an asshole. I am...blame it on me mom...It's always me being the bad one..yeah I agree,That I'm fuckin' rebellious at home...unlike my other two brothers. U guys may see me smiling,and laughin' and doin' things that's always happy. But u guys,seriously have not seen the other side of me. If my blood point go over the maximum...that's it..I will no longer be myself anymore,I'll be that fucked up jerk that many would describe as...asshole...or whatever it is.

Many of u...MANY of u don't know this...all these while...it was just pretense...u guys are the ones that kept me up..that kept me smiling somehow..made me laugh and keep my mind off things...but after that..whenever I got home..things get fucked up again. That's how it has always been. HIdden under that mask of being the joker of the group...behind those mask,I'm just a low down,sad clown...Thanks everyone...

Maybe by seein' Nina tomorrow might cheer me up a li'l... I hope...

Wished that I could write in again...maybe I might be "Gone" for a while... Take care u guys! I'll see u,when I see u...

"Final" words....Cheers!