Today...So far...had been...ONE HELL OF A FUCKED UP DAY! I shouldn't have gone to the gig... But I see it for Nurul so I went. It was fuckin' borin'. Mainly of the bands are ska bands.. Socks ain't it?! I mean, ska? Fuckin' ska! I mean, ska is okay, but when it becomes too much.. it turns sour! Fucked up! And the crowd... It was there, yeah, it was like.. a lot.. but u know what.. it was empty.. it terms of energy.. For me, it was dead.. When a fuckin' ska band plays, everybody goes up to the front.. even when they're outside the fuckin' gate.. most real, even from the fuckin' coffee shop, they ran back to the garden.. Why? Cuz a ska band is playin' and they do not want to miss the skankin' fun. Rudies, in all colours, black.. and even in full white suit.. They look rich.. try askin' them.. "How much u got?" most probably u got a lame fuckin' reply like.."3 bucks plus". or maybe less.. well the richer ones would have maybe around 10? They look "rich".. With all the suits and all, but what they drink? A packet drink that cost a few cents. Okay, most probably some of u who's readin' this shit might say, "Come on, it's their choice on how they want to dress up..." Yeah by all means dress fuckin' up! U guys go to gigs just to skank and do a fuckin' fashion parade?! Kids of all ages.. youngest maybe...12? or 13? Influence by others.. I mean, what the fuck?! It was draggy.. today was so fuckin' draggy! Never had a fucked up day like this before! And most real, the last band, I felt bad for them. If that was my band, I'm sure to feel really fucked up. Where have all the crowd gone to? Rancour was second last and after that, almost everybody left! THe last band, only a handful of crowd stayed behind. And they were awesome! Good vocals, good bass slapping and the guitars with effects and tight drummin... too bad.. the "commercialised and sellout" crowd left... Oh wait, maybe they're too fuckin' young to stay out that late...Whatever it is, this L2R is not by far..the best.. L2R 1 and L2R 3 was awesome...

That was part of the fucked upness... To end off my day... Saw people that I wished I wouldn't see.. okay, maybe it's not people.. more like...this one guy. Before I went to the gig, I should have followed my heart... I see this comin' and it sucks when it happened.. I don't wanna talk much about it, just to touch the surface of things... This someone who I was okay with and who I could at least talk... I can no longer talk to him.. i don't know why... secondly, I felt fucked up or like as if being used or somethin'.. U know, back then I wrote somethin' about "PLaster-Of-Boredom"... somethin' like that.. Right now, at this fuckin' minute... I have one hell of a confused feeling... It's all mixed up, just like "rojak"... Sadness, anger, frustration, emptiness, loneliness, wishful... I don't know.. What's happenin' to me?! Will someone, approach me and fuckin' tell me what?! Past few weeks I've been feelin' dead.. really dead.. it's as if my fun side no longer exist. I can't make jokes no more, or maybe I can but others might find it lame..It's like I'm more like pretendin' to laugh these days... I feel dead... The energy inside of me is so fuckin' dead... Felt like as if I'm sick of everythin' and I just want to end it all. Everythin'... and start anew... Are these signs of growin' out of ur teenage days? Mellow down? Like what Fattah did? Look at him, he no longer hangs out with us, or sms or call.. I guess he settled and mellow down from he's active teenage life... As we malay would say..."Dia dah bawak diri ah..." it's like, he's in his own world... Bargh! I don't know... Fuck it! i'm feelin' F-ed-UP!

Anyways, 1st day chalet pics are up.. my display pics will stay the same for some time, maybe next week will be new pics? I'm just lazy to edit for now. Pic of the week, it will still be, the chalet pile up pic...

Allright, happy fuckin' day all! Enjoy ur fuckin' time! Hope everythin' will be fuckin' fine... Cheers! And have a good fuckin' day!

Fuckingly Yours,
HaZe_OnE