This next few entries will be an account from my diary when I was in camp:-

Monday, January 16th 2004

Here I am again, lying on my bed in the dark. It's 10:09 right now and the bunk lights are off. We're having an early lights off today cuz we'll be having IPPT Evaluation tomorrow and the sargeants wants us to rest. I Heard from the guys that we'll be havin' lessons on trench diggin' this Wednesday and boy,I can't wait for that shit to end. Same goes for field camp... wanna end that shit as soon as it can end. Some of the guys in my bunk ain't asleep yet... Same goes to the other bunks I guess. Currently, as I lay down on my bed or any free moments I have here... I've been thinkin' a lot about things...

Thinking about Emelia, about how I get to know her and how we met up and have our date. I'm havin' doubts on whether I should go on with her or wait... Wait for the moment that I've always wished for and look out to. For that past Valentine's Day, I wished for that one girl to go out with me. The girl that I know, I would have fun and enjoy my moments with for that special day. It's really bad of me to say all this but I simply can't click with my date for that day. If only she were to open her mouth and talk more, it would be okay. Let's just see where wuold we go from here.

The show's comin' up soon and it's this Saturday. First Chapter will be playing for the first time and it'll be my first time performin' on stage as a drummer. Can't wait for that and I really wished that I could book out early this comin' Saturday...

"" If only you'd come back to me, this place would be a better place to live in... But that's all impossible... for now...

Tuesday, February 17th 2004

Only one day had past and it's going by so slowly... always had been since the first day I came in here. Right now, Layin' on my bed with no one to message and it's pretty borin'. Only source of contact with the outside world. Got a few messages though, from those whom I look forward to get from. Missin' people back home, anticipatin' for weekends to go back home and spend time with those who I missed. Gettin' sick of this shitty place, wished for all this to end quickly... but that's impossible. P.O.P is comin' up soon and that is in about 5 more weeks to go. THe worst ain't over yet.

We'll be havin' trench diggin' tomorrow and listenin' to the briefin' earlier on by our Lt somehow brought my morale down. I feel that it's going to be a super mega tirin' day cuz we're going to dig up for almost half a day... SHAGNESS!!

Aight, I guess I better have my rest and do a li'l bit of messaging with Emelia... I'll write in again the enxt day... Cheers!

Wednesday, February 18th 2004

Wow! It was one hell of a fucked up day today. I was tired as fucked. Early in the morning, had this shit called Aqua Aerobics and yeah, I know, it sounds stupid... well... it IS. Got punished for so many times and I think that we did almost 200 jumping jacks in the water and soon after that, 50 more outside. That shagged us all. In the later morning, we went to this place, an open space land roughly about 6 clicks away from our company line. This is where we did... Trench diggin' and that adds on to our tiredness. It ain't easy to dig one trench. We start off by diggin' this trench called Shellscrape, it looks a li'l bit like a grave block except this one, ur suppose to prone in it and not be seen by the enemy... or, somethin' like that. The other one we did, it's called the fire trench. This one was worse to dig and it really shagged us all.

Glad that all of that trench shit if over. Right now, I'm on my bed, as always... thinkin' about that someone again. She's actin' all weird and she doesn't message like how she would always message me the last time. I'm very sure that somethin's ain't right but she just do not want to say it out. Whatever it is, I know that she's one person that I truly and dearly miss. I hope that she'll be okay.

Aight gotta go now,havin' a parade tomorrow, some parade called the OC Master Parade...

Cheers!

Thursday, February 19th 2004

Today went out fine not until our sargeants told us the complains my platoon got. Some of us ain't happy about those complains cuz we know that we didn't do those things. Whatever it is... It's god damn demoralizing. Now, I don't even have the confidence to go for that stupid field camp this comin' Monday...

We had some kind of a parade this morning and well, it ain't that bad, everythin' went out good. But somehow, I was feelin' kinda low, thinkin' about things back home. People I miss worries me... It's hard to explain it in words, u have to be me to know what I'm feelin' right now. Only one more day to endure before I fuck off for the weekend.

The gig's comin' up, real fast. Feelin' nervous for it. Hope that everythin' will go fine. Gotta go, lights off already.

Friday, February 20th 2004

I came to a conclusion that if u don't count the days, the week would end quickly and well...it did. It seems like only yesterday was the day of my enlistment but the true fact is that... I'm almost at my two months mark here. Lookin' at the new enlistees, reminds me of the time when I first enter here... Lost, alone and have no fuckin' idea of what to do or where to go. 2 months later, take a look at us... "Veterans" of Tekong. We know where to go and what to do and these guys that's with me now, who were once strangers are now brothers to me. Together we get fucked, together we laughed and enjoy and together we suffer. If u guys watched "Band Of Brothers" on Episode 1 "Curahee"... It's somethin' like that.

Right now, as I lay down on my bed, we're havin' admin time right now. I've been thinkin' of that someone ever since my last book in. I'm wonderin', thinkin' and hopin'... hopin' that the same star would shine brightly high above again. I ain't got much to say except to keep low and quiet and wait and be there for her and I'll try to make sure that she's happy.

"May the soul she was searching for be found so that she won't be confused no more..."