.:: UNDYING MEMORIES ::.

For all these years of togetherness
I'd like to say thanks for being honest
I'm not the same Wan as back then
When we were a punk rock band

Ups and downs we've been through
Not forgetting thick and thin too
Grew up together in music
One thing's for sure,
Fir never fails to break his sticks

From Zat to Tweet
Who plays the bass, pretty neat
As creative as he can be
And the youngest from the three
Starting off as playing lead
Creating basslines that's super sweet

From four to five
Another energy that keeps it alive
Shout & Scream
Fad's the new guy
who gets to live his dream

The only guy with the difference
B is what we call him for reference
Putting words into music as expressions
Of his feelings and emotions
Keeping his guitars always in tune
The waiting game, we are so immuned

I'd like to thank for all the years
Of memories that I'll always keep near
We are the same, just like the rest
Playing with u guys, is always the best

For all these years of togetherness
I'd like to seek for your forgiveness
For all the wrong that I have done
I'm saying sorry, as it is time
For me to be gone

- Hezwan ( 1997 - 2005 )

.:: DOWN THE SLOPE, AGAIN ::.

Things been goin' fine except the fact that my dad's just got warded into the hospital again. Didn't got the chance to update this shit so yeah... My dad went under the knife last week and thank god that everythin' went out okay. He was a li'l weak at first when he just got out of the operation theatre... But after that he was okay.. My life's pretty much on the waves again... Lotsa shit is goin' on right now and I've been thinkin'.... thinkin'... and more thinkin'...

.:: UNITS, BATTALION, DIVISION ::.

Army... What fuck is that?! Here in Singapore, it means, it's wayang... and more wayang.. NS Life is nothin' but... WAYANG! Must be kilat in this, in that.. Whatever fuck that is.. Why do u need to be so fake in the army world? Well, it's simple... to survive... Fuck that shit.. The actual meanin' to SAF.. Serve And Fuck off... it's really true when they say that...

.:: GOIN' DOWN UNDER ::.

Somebody's goin' away down under and that saddens me.. But it'll only be for two weeks, So what if it's two weeks, it's still quite a long time.. That someone just couldn't let me go, just hard to let me go. *sigh* Hope that she will enjoy herself down there while she's there.. Just take care of urself and try to enjoy okay? And please, don't worry about me.. I'll be fine... I'll take care if u take care... that's for sure...

.:: THOU SHALL CHOOSE:- THOU LOVE, THOU FAMILY OR THOU FRIENDS ::.

It's really tough when u have lots to choose and to satisfy. No one's perfect and I ain't perfect, that's for sure.. I've been tryin' hard but I simply can't satisfy all... I can't make everyone happy, why?! Why can't I?! Why can't I just simply satisfy all at once.. Why must there be a split in timing, the days.. and everything.. I can't choose... If i do a li'l too much on this side.. the other side wouldn't be happy. I've been tryin' to level out all equally but I just can't.. I guess that I know how pluGGy felt when she said that she felt that she's outta place when she hangs out with us.. Now i know how she feels... Cuz I'm feelin' that way right now.. I'm hangin' out less with the boys cuz the last time I tried hangin' out... I felt totally out, totally off, totally outcast. I missed out on things, it's like I'm no longer in the group, it's like I'm an outsider. New news that I not know off, new stuff that I don't even know. And these days, whenever I talk to them, i really feel awkward, a total awkwardness. it's like, I'm bein' plastic whenever I talk to them. And when u don't call them or get news from them, u'll get fucked or maybe anyone from the group would get pissed off by the fact that u don't call them or at least message them. i know that it's hard for them to reach me, yeah and at that point, it's my bad, totally cuz they can't reach me and i should call them. i don't know what to say, I can't satisfy anyone anymore. I feel empty these days. Total emptiness.. And thus, the status of MIA came about... I'm so called, Missing in Action. Sometimes, when I pick up that phone to dial their numbers.. I just put it back down cuz I simply don't know what to say and sometimes I just feel awkward.. most probably, there are some guys out there that's readin' this blog is gettin' their blood boiled or something. I have no intention of doin' that, I'm just expressing my views. i spoke to some of u before, I'm not good at expressing my feelings or views outside, so here I am. To all that's affected, I'm really sorry, I'm tryin' to make things right but struggling. Not only my friends, my family too... I got bored of my family although my dad's is in my concern right now... They say that family bond can't be broken, it's true but trust me, it's fuckin' hopeless at this point that I'm givin' up on them. My family is no longer like a family now... My home, isn't like a home anymore... I just gave up...

.:: MR. LONELY ::.

Currently, I'm feelin' as though I have no one else to turn to besides HaLLiE and even so, she can't do much and in fact, she's feelin' guilty... She feels as if that she's at fault for all of this to happen. But i don't think that way.. it's my own bad.. my own stupid badness.. my spoilt choices.. ARGH! I don't know what else to express in here anymore!

.:: SCREAMING IN SILENCE ::.

Whatever it is... ARGH!!!!~~~~~~ Enough of typin' this shit... i'm outta here.. I'm sorry to all, I can't be perfect... I can't satisfy all.. I'm not the ONE... i'm sorry once again...

.:: Paisehness For The Errors And A Thousand Apologies ::.

First and foremost, I'd like to say, SORRY FOR THE ERROR IN THE PICTURES SECTION... Hehehe.. Cute one Nora.. I don't know why, but when I just realise that the picture that says, "Nora's 21st Birthday" and it comes out another stuff.. i was crackin' myself up.. and same to u too Irma.. Picnic picture jadi Zoo! hahaha.. Okay, most real, I've made ammendments and now everythin' is back to normal and all is in the right sections.. So yeah.. can check out the pics..

.:: Please Stand By ::.

It's a Saturday, but my mind's not free cuz I'm on stand by for some stupid Mobilisation.. i think it's called, Final Surprise.. or somethin' like that. It's a silent activation.. Hopefully they do not call me up.. Cuz I don't wanna waste my Saturday doin' the stupid shit.. All I have to do now is just wait for that call.. And once I received that call I have to be in came by M+2... Which means, two hours after the call.. i have to report in came... damn it.. Stupid army, waste of time!!

.:: Under The Knife ::.

My dad's goin' for his operations soon. This Monday, he'll be admitted to Hospital to have a good rest and all that monitoring stuff... On Tuesday, he'll be going for a minor operation.. They'll be puttin' that camera tube into his stomache to check for the stones in his liver.. Next next week, he'll be goin' under the knife of the surgeon.. I'm kinda worried.. anythin' can happen. I just hope anf pray for the best. *sigh*

.:: License Up For Grabs ::.

Guess what? I've reached my 7000 mark.. Meanin'? Well, the doors to the free license is up for grabs.. BUT.. there's a but to it.. I don't know if I would get that license once I ORD... I mean, if u guys were to read my blog, u guys should know right? I mean, many many accidents = big bad record.. So i don't know if I would get it.. Just hope for it..

.:: Tag Replies To All ::.

Nora :- hehehe, Sorry girl, I don't know what happened to the stupi thing.. Some faults in the HTML... Sorry and paiseh many many!

Nur Khairani :- Heya! Thanks for replyin'.. Anyways, yeah, SHATEC.. WAS from there.. I've added ya.. So aight, cheers!

DaneIsha :- Miss D.. That u? Anyways, NO.. MIRCO settings wasn't on at all. That's pure plain settings shot.. Wait, are u sayin'.. Mirco.. or Micro? But either ways.. no settings was turned on.. plain shot...

ina :- Hey ina! Thanks for the compliments on the title.. that was the supposedly Demo Title.. Which is.. actually our Demo Title.. For the last demo we did.. "A Thousand Miles The Wrong Way".. Anyways, thanks...

Irma :- Hey darlin'! Hehe.. Sorry girl, there was a mistake in the HTML... I've put in the wrong codes.. Anyways, everything's all fixed up.. now u can grab the pics if u want to.. Aight? Cheers!

.:: Closing ::.

As usual, I gotta go.. take care peeps and please, do come back and read if there's any updates.. So for now, take care, BYE BYE!

.:: Death Of A President ::.

Wow! Madness, the former president, Mr. Wee Kim Wee... is no longer around... And yesterday, being the duty driver for the day, I was activated and this ops was called.. Operation White Star.. This happens when a "White Horse" dies.. So a big hoo ha happens. Most of the units were activated back to camp.. Being a Post Labour Day holiday... It was fucked up... All the big shots were there to take control of the situation.. To handle all the procedures and all the drills of carryin' the coffins and stuff.. And they just had a rehearsal two weeks ago.. And this happens.. the real deal.. One minute of silence for the Former President...

.:: Duty Off ::.

If ur wonderin' why I'm home today, well, it's because I did duty yesterday, which is... a holiday.. For that, they're givin' me a one day duty off.. Wow! It's kinda amazin' to get an off cuz when ur in MT Line, offs are really hard to come by, being an active units full of details. I'm just sick of that stupid place.. Ngast!

.:: Updated Pictures ::.

If u guys noticed, there's updates in the photo gallery... Some of 'em are pics that was taken like... two months ago.. I think.. so u guys can check it out.. and the most recent update is the memory lane shit.. It's pictures of my band in the younger days... Feel free to check it out...

.:: Display Pics ::.

The four pictures u see up there are my works... The first two was this beautiful sunrise that I saw when I woke up. The first thing I saw, was this.. Beautiful ain't it? The next two.. the one with the enter sign and the one with "A Thousand Miles The Wrong Way".. are some of the many pictures that I've editted.. The one with the white background, that was the supposedly website cover for No Direction... but it was called off...

.:: A Li'l Poem About Love ::.

Something that I found in my old folders... Here's one.. which is so true...

Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone,
who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces,
so you could be whole again...
it's just a matter of when that person will appear...

.:: A Poem By An Angel ::.

Another poem I found somewhere in my old folders... It was from Shammie... A regret that I have for ditchin' her.. I'm sorry Shammie...


Dear BIGguy_ND,

I miss you so much
that my heart is aching
Every day I think of you
and all the magical
places you took me
When you're near
I feel complete
but when you're away
I feel as if a part
of me is missing
Remembering all the
good times we had
and all the passionate nights
spent in the erotica
of each other's soul's
the memories return to leave me
feeling as tho I'm dying
I'm simply unable to face life
with this feeling of my
soul mate far from me
Please return to me at once
and tell me that you
love and miss me too
There's not a shred
of doubt inside me
I know I want to spend
my life with you
I can't wait until we can make
the reunion of our passionate
intwined soul's once again
like we did since the beginning
you know in your heart
How much I love you

.:: Farewell To All ::.

That's it for today.. I'm outta here.. Cheers!

.:: MAIN SHIT ::.

Hey ho everyone! It's been a while since I've last blogged.. or should I say, say out my emo storied kinda shit.. Anyways, it's a Thursday night and I'm doin' duty today! Supposedly to be my nights off but thanks.. Being a stay in personnel, it really sucks. I just got back from attachment on Wednesday, which is from Monday... and wow.. today's my duty.. amazin' ain't it? And this Saturday, I'll be havin' a detail in the mornin'.. and guess what? Next Monday, I'll have another attachment.. and that is like so fucked up...

Stayin' in this OPS room is really dull.. it's like ur sittin' with people u don't even know and all u have is the TV.. the Computer and urself.. that's it.. So here I am, bloggin' in since I got nothin' to do.. God damn this place.. I had NS so fuckin' much and how I wish that everythin' ends now.. I mean.. right now as in now.

.:: THE LOST OF THE NEW NOKIA 6170 ::.

On Monday mornin', I lost my phone in the bunk while I was sleepin'.. isn't that cool? For the fuckin' second time.. imagine that?! In one fuckin' year... wait wait.. let's not put it a year.. for like.. within'.. 5 months or was it 6... I've lost my second phone! In the same fuckin' bunk!!! Fuckin' hell.. Talkin' about tight security.. bullshit! And it's hard to suspect anyone when there's like so many people in the very same area.. My new Nokia 6170.. can u believe that?! I spent my wage on that! Where am I goin' to dig out cash to get a new phone.. Fuckin' hell! It's fuckin' amazin'... How I wish I could curse on that whoever took my phone.. If he was a fuckin' driver, I just wish that he'll get into a gruesome accident and yet...survived.. so that he'll suffer... I mean, why me?! why my fuckin' phone?! Now it's even hard for me to contact my home and my friends and my girl!

.:: STUPID CAMP, STUPID NATIONAL SERVICE ::.

I'm gettin' sick of bein' in this stupid place.. this stupid camp which is my so called.. home... MT Line.. what's MT Line? I thought that it's supposed to be a family.. and a place where u could call home for this next few months.. But fuck, it seems as if there's a lot of political issues goin' on in there.. it ain't CMTL no more.. it's more like.. Drivers / Supply / Admin... Every section is by itself.. the drivers have no problems with one another.. the supply side, some of them has issues with us.. and some of the admin side..have issues with us.. I mean.. what's up with that?!

There's this one jackass in the detailin' side which is targetting me right now and I have no idea why... Maybe it was because that I asked him a favour to change my detail with someone else cuz I wanted to see my dad in the Hospital but no~~~ He thought that I was lyin'.. Oh yeah.. right.. I wanted to change so that I could meet my girl on Friday night and hang out with her till Saturday.. Yeah yeah, I admit that earlier that week I did mention somethin' about spendin' a special time together with my girl this weekend.. but hey, who says everything would go the way u want them to everytime?! Mid week, wednesday night, my dad got admitted into Hospital and I only got the news on Friday evening while I was on detail. Luckily it wasn't somethin' else.. u know what I mean by that.. luckily that he was a li'l better when he was in the hospital.. Found out that he got Liver Infection... Seriously, if anythin' were to happened that night... I'll fuck those fuckers in the detailing side.. Trust me.. I will.. and I'll beat the shit out of that fucker who spread the words that I was meetin' up with my girl.. And now the fucker from detailing is hittin' me with details.. fine.. I'll give it to him.. but if it's too much.. he's in for a good ride.. My MTO is eyein' on him too, waitin' for him to open the door to his faults. I hate this place.. simply said...

.:: SURPRISE CALL FROM AN OLD SOMEONE ::.

Enough of camp... pluGGy called me up last weekend.. I mean.. WHOA~!! After some time?! I mean.. the wind finally blow in my direction?! It was a mixed feeling when I got her call. It was like YEY! and NOUH! Kinda thing.. I was happy cuz.. come on, we had something before and well, she's my best friend.. or should I say.. WAS... I was happy to hear her voice but after a while, something hit me... "Why now? Why after all this months of silence even when I messaged u that u wanna call me up?" Well.. she called me up to ask me if I still have her baby photos... I mean.. whoa.. Just for that.. not askin' how I'm doin', or maybe a li'l, "Hey, wanna meet up?" line to cheer me up a li'l? Instead she asked me for her photo.. the photo that she gave me in one of her letters that I treasure. I was a li'l mad at that point. I was pissed cuz she went away for a very long time.. And I told her straight that I got sick.. got sick of even tryin' to ask her out.. cuz every single time I would asked her out... I would normally get either a "I'm busy BIGguy, sorry.." Or a,"I already got plans dude, sorry, maybe next time?" or a,"See how first...okay? No promises..." So, come on.. who wouldn't get sick of askin'? If every single time u ask.. u always get the same excuses.. So yeah, I got sick.. I mean, I miss her so much.. A friend, A someone and A best friend to me. Who was so close.. super close that some say that we're like brothers and sisters... The whacky old her.. Miss that so fuckin' much.. Why must time change things.. Sometimes I just wish that changes won't happen. I just miss the old u... That's all.. pluGGy... that same very old mad whacky zany gal called.. pluGGy...

.:: MISSING HER ::.

Me and HaLLiE.. we're doin' fine.. Doin' A Okay.. in fact.. better than before.. I love her so much! Without realizin', we're already 4 months old. Kinda fast ey? I wonder what she's doin' now? hmm... Hope I could see her this weekend...

Aight, that's it for now.. I've typed out too long for this entry.. Cheers to all!

White light, monitor screen... weird sounds... Cool wind blowin'... Madness...Weekend cut short, Bad start to weekend which ended good..Well.. a brief of how my weekend went.. Anyways, great times.. I just came back from hangin' out with Hallie's family.. My week was okay.. camp.. as usual.. same old shit.. aight.. so there's no need to talk about it.. u know.. it's boring.. pretty much.. dull...Had a bad day on Thursday... well.. more like Thursday night... i mean.. it was 50/50.. half okay.. and half bad.. went to a chalet... and well.. everyone was there.. Somehow, issues was talked about and I was feelin' it.. felt it comin' before I came.. But it's settled.. Things talked out.. and everything's okay for now.. i hope.. I want it to be okay... It's for the future...After that.. everything was back to norm.. Madness.. fun.. laughter.. and well.. sleepiness.. didn't slept the whole night.. cool ain't it? Hehehe.. From 8 on Wednesday till 2 plus in the afternoon on friday.. WOW!! hehehe..Went to B's place to session on Friday eve and then head out to Bugis to fetch Hallie home.. And hung out with her till mornin'... easy to say.. Ton... in the mornin'... head out to her home... hung out at her place with her mom and brother.. fell asleep while I was there.. In the evenin'.. Went out with the whole family and had dinner at Simpang.. And after eatin'.. went cruising around with the family.. Damn.. had great fun!! It was really fun goin' out with her family..

It was a li'l sad when I had to leave.. Cuz normally, on saturday nights.. I would hang out with her.. ton with her... but today, I had to go cuz I got a friggin' duty tomorrow... Damn it.. She was sad and tears were rollin' down her cheeks when I was sayin' goodbye...I love that girl...

Anyways, another week is comin'.. and it's gonna be fuckin' boring.. that's all I can say.. madness.. Aight, my blog's pretty much lame.. And it's like one of those.. lame entries.. "I woke up, ate breakfast.. head out.. meet her.. enjoyed my time.. send her home.. head back.. looking forward to meet her again.. went back home.. had dinner.. bla bla bla.." One of those kinds..

Aight, that's it for today folks..I'm outta here.. gotta sleep.. Cheers to ya'all!

Starin' into the open window, I see the clear skies that's been there durin' daytime durin' our days.. Birds chirpin'... The clutterin' sound of the celin' fan.. The buzzin' sound of the guitar amp and of course, the tapping of the keyboard. Here I am, typin' out this entry. as usual, the weekends are the only time that I'm free to do my entries. I know I've promised u guys pictures and all but fuck, for that, I ain't got the time yet.. Anyways, my week went by.. A Ok.. i guess.. My dad.. well, he's feelin' a li'l better but somehow still got the pains in his chest.. I just hope that he'll be okay...

Not much had happened in camp accept that one of our guys went in again.. u guys should know went in what? If ur in the army and u do shit wrong although u ain't wrong... It's called DB... It was a sad moment.. and I ain't there.. i heard from my from who sent him there. Imagine this, sendin' ur own buddy down to the Detention Barrack.. It can be heart wreckin'... Poor guy, I hope that he's doin' okay.. I mean, i've been there and I know how it's like.. i told him, try to take it easy and don't count the days.. just do the shitty stuff in there.. and let it be done and over with.

Other than that, camp was...BORING... as usual..I mean.. since when camp became cool? Even if the things that happened in camp are not camp stuff.. it's.. not office hours.. so it ain't camp stuff.. okay, right now, somehow, I'm beginning to feel that I'm talkin' crap.. right? Socks! Anyways, went out on a proper date with Hallie last Friday and it was fun.. Hung out with her friends.. Linda, Ain and Nizam.. well.. Linda was fun.. as always.. but the other two..well.. i can't click with them.. Somehow I feel that they're talkin' about stuff that I don't really wanna talk about.. I mean.. we just don't click.. no chemistry in conversation.. so what I do? Just sit down there with them and shut my lips up.. I look at the time and it was 10 plus and that is when I decided to tell Hallie..."Baby, we better go now or we might miss the movie.".. And she agreed..and so.. she saved my boredom by tellin' them that we gotta go.. So yes.. Freedom from the boring conversationists! hahaha.. Whatever that is.. so i went away with Hallie to Cineleisure and wow.. it was friggin' pack.. and I'm talkin' pack pack...oh wait.. that was today.. i mean, that Friday, it ain't that pack.. Surprisingly..it wasn't pack.. Well.. anyways, I caught "Robots".. and it was fuckin' funny! Crappy show with funny jokes.. i mean, Robin Williams was the voice of Fender.. and Fender was one heck of a character.. And Ewan McGregor was the voice of Rodney Copperbottom.. I mean.. ngast.. U guys just have to watch it if u guys are into animation kinda shit.. u know.. not the kiddy kiddy kind.. but more to like..all rounder movie.. meanin'..for kids, adults and all ages kinda shit.. The graphics are good..the animations are smooth..and most real.. the sound was awesome.. okay.. anyways, me and hallie had a good laugh... crappy show...

Head out to East Coast after that and wow.. east coast ain't how it used to be ey? back then, not much people would hang out there.. but now.. madness! It's like.. The Beach That Never Sleeps.. everybody's walkin' about and all that even in the early hours of the morning.. while buyin' fags and drink at 7-11.. i bumped into Dil.. Madster! heehe.. It' s been a while since i saw him..and well, he seem to be perfectly swell! hung out with him and hallie... chattin' old times and old crappy stuff..hehe..missed those slackin' days.. after some time, he decided to join back to his friends.. After all that, I got bored of East Coast so i told hallie.. Let's go someplace else.. so she agreed...

Anyways, that's besides the point.. yesterday, which is a saturday.. I went out witht he boys.. and trust me.. Boys night out! Kecohrable! went jammin' around 7 plus at FYEworks.. and well.. jammin's kinda awesome.. Coverin' some stuff.. hehehe.. And after that, head out to town to hang out with the peeps.. No Direction, Khus, Tengtai, Lordch and Raymond.. What's our purpose there? Well, to catch a movie.. holy cow! We watchewd Boogeyman.. That show was kinda jumpy.. it ain't scary.. just jumpy..and that's from my point of view.. that's it.. it's not that bad.. but just that...the storyline was a li'l complicating.. After the show, we decided to hang out in Mackerz in front of Lido (For those who do not know the meanin'.. Mackerz stands for McDonalds) while walkin' towards Mackerz.. guess who I saw? This is insane.. After three years of now hearin' from him.. Tunggal suddenly runs to bernard and slams him on purpose.. And I was like..."Hey!! Tungster!! Bro! Where the fuck have u been?!" And well, gave him the hand shake with the hug thingy.. Damn... I miss that dude.. It may sound faggish, but me, Tungster and B have gone back a..loooooong way.. Back in the old high School days.. ah...the good ol' school days.. hehe.. Anyways, he still looks the same like how Tanno describes him..."Jagung"..hehe.. which means Corn in malay.. Somehow, i still don't get it on why tanno calls him that.. he doesn't look one bit like a corn.. Saw him with a girl..he said that girl was someone he got to know a few weeks back and that.. was the first time they met.. I asked him whether he have something for this girl.. he said maybe.. So i told him.. good luck bro.. hope to see u smiling again.. tungster.. miss that bugger so friggin' much sia! he's goin' Taiwan next month for some stupid Excercise.. oh yeah, got to learn that he's 1st Guard's Medics... hehehe.. a medic...madness!

Anyways, got meself a new phone.. A Nokia 6170.. together with a new line.. Well, the phone's nice and all.. but it lacks of some features like Mp3 player.. bluetooth.. and cool features like those.. but the design's really trendy.. u know.. just nice fashion... that kinda shit.. Gotta watch my bills this time.. madness.. I don't want it to go boom! Sigh..

anyways, i'm outta here.. Gotta go.. i'm bored as hell.. I might send hallie to work later on. straight from B's place.. oh yeah, forgot about it.. I'm in B's place.. ngast... Aight ya'all.. I'm outta here...Cheers to all! Peace out!

okay... it's been a while since I've last updated my blog.. yeah yeah, I know some of u guys and gals do want to see my updates.. Sorry about it cuz I've been busy and well, not enough time to update my blog. Weekends are too precious for me that I'm like out most of the time. Today, i'm still at home and it's like 4:30pm...and it's a Saturday.. holy cow, it's a god damn Saturday and I'm still home at this hour.. many things had happened since my last entry.. And yeah, some of u people read my entry and well.. thought that it was an up to date emo feeling I'm havin'..

Shits had happened... Got into another accident.. this time, it ain't a minor one...Was cruisin' along BKE and it's near the exit of KJE... That's where it all happened.. The exit was congested.. always had been in the mornings.. always jam up.. So there I was, followin' the car in front at normal distance and normal speed.. Suddenly, about four of five cars ahead... gave a good sudden break, followed by the car behind.. and followed by the other car behind.. And it then it was me.. I hit the breaks.. as hard as I fuckin' could... but it wasn't in time.. I hit the car in front and then the car in front hit the other car in front... leading to... chain collision.. Altogether four vehicles was involved. My 5 ton Truck followed by three civillian cars.. The car I hit was wrecked.. The bonnet of the car was totally crushed in.. another words, the car in front was sandwiched.. It was fucked up! The feelin' was indescribable.. Stunned..shaken... worried.. scared.. If it was a normal civilian car that I'm drivin', I wouldn't be that scared.. it's because that it was a military vehicle that got me shaken... Stupid cars... I'm still under investigation and I'm under suspension now.. I can only drive in camp.. I made a police report... Damn.. my profile's being busted cuz of this... Enough of this accident shit...

Ain't much in camp.. same old shit everyday.. except that it's much more slacker now..cuz back then we were doin' the LRI (Logistic Readiness Inspection) thingy.. so back then it was like.. fall out at late timing.. but now it's back to norm... okay, enough of Camp..

Handphones... Hmm... I got a phone, yeah.. i do have it.. Got a SIM card..yeah.. but it's a friggin' Pre-Paid.. i mean, thanks to Hallie for lettin' me use her pre paid... Somehow, pre-paids are good.. for budgeting ur money issues... but once ur value is down.. that's it.. u can't reach anyone.. and vice versa.. People can't get to ya when they need ya.. All u can get.. is the SMSes.. Even so, u can't reply.. feel helpless at times.. If u have the dough, it's okay, u can always top it up..but if u don't.. like what I'm experiencing right now... Can't do anythin' till my next pay.. damn it.. i might be gettin' a line again (Oh yeah, right hezwan, a line.. everytime u got a friggin' line, u'll end up havin' trouble payin' 'em off...) yeah yeah, i know.. but what can I do.. i need a new phone.. and I need a line.. So i'm resorting to Starhub.. i hope I can maintain it.. cuz this time, if I'm into the bill shit again, my dad's ain't payin' for me no more...

Fags prices went up.. i mean.. like up, UP!... Fuckin' hell.. it's like 11 bucks for one pack.. Soon, everybody will be smokin' one of those Roll 'em Up cigarettes... Even so, those Roll 'em Up Fags are going up too.. Soon, we all will be smokin' grass.. and I ain't talkin' about weed.. u know.. Take the leaf, and some grass..roll it up.. and light it.. there u go.. Nature's way of smokin'... That's why i'm going into outside import... u know what I mean.. Supplier and stuff.. Cartons.. and yada yada... it's better than buyin' here....

Me and Hallie, we're doin' swell! I'm loving her more every single day... The best thing that ever happened to me.. for now.. i mean, i met her parents and she met my parents.. and yada yada.. Got to say that I actually met my girlfriend's parents formally.. usually..it's either by accidental.. or by coincidence outside when I'm hangin' out... but this one.. it's formal.. I followed her family to some family gathering in Pasir Ris Beach..and it was awesome.. her dad was super cool! He broke the ice by crackin' me up with jokes.. Seriously, they made me feel welcome... I love my girl.. My baby's workin' today.. and i might fetch her home from work if I ain't hangin' out with the guys at night...

Talkin' about dad.. my dad is sick right now and he ain't like how he used to be.. He was brought to hospital last week when i wasn't at home.. but he didn't want to be warded.. Right now, he's sleepin'.. and he seems okay.. One whole week i didn't call home.. cuz i didn't have much time, eveytime after I fall out, I would fall asleep in bunk once I'm back in... Yesterday when I was headin' home, the whole journey I was thinkin' about my dad.. worried that something might happen.. u know.. u know what I mean... and to my relief.. he was okay when I got home.. I shooked his hand and kissed it like I never did it before.. usually i would "salam" him with a light grip and kiss his hands halfway... But yesterday.. i held his hands tight and kissed it proper... I was so relief that he was there... Undescribable feeling, only those who went through this before would know how it's like... I just hope he'll get better... I ain't ready yet if anything were to happen.. Not yet...

The band's pretty much okay, been gettin' gigs these days.. and well.. it seems that our name's up again.. but I'm sure that we ain't that known like how some other bands are.. but it's okay.. we play cuz we love playin' our music.. We play for the kids, not for ourselves.. i love my band, I love the guys.. they're like my second family.. brothers in music... Coolest and maddest bunch of goons I've hung out with.. hehehe...

And miss D, sorry for not updating... i've just been busy..anyways, about the treat.. i ain't sure when girl.. i'll try to reach ya one day.. Anyways, note down ur number in ur mail.. don't tag.. Mail me in my hotmail aight?

pluGGy.. where the heck are u gal? Been missin' ey? well, i missed ya.. so do sms me if u need anythin'.. aight? u got my number, don't be shy now... Cheers to ya!

To the rest of the people, sorry for not updating.. aight.. A thousand apologies...

Anyways, new pics comin' up.. i know some of ya been lookin' forward for the pics..but I just didn't have the time.. i'm doin' it after this.. So yeah.. do come back and check out if my pic section is up.. Aight, that's it.. till don't know when.. CHEERS TO YA ALL!!!

Days had past and many things had happened... Things that I didn't want to happen.. but it just.. did.. Thoughts are cloudin' up my mind and messin' up my head... Can't have clear thoughts. Difference in things after what had happened. Don't feel good, don't feel like usual.

Missin' old people, missin' the fun I once had, missin' the ol' mad bunch of BK, missin' the ol' chatters... missin' almost everythin'... People come and go, people come and stay... People who treasure, people who's forgotten, people who left but not forgotten... People who wanna take time off, people who simply, want to disappear... People who's leadin' their own lifes, people who's sick of things, people who just wants new things in life...

Days had past, weeks, months and years... Changes are inevitable... People go, people who go for good.. behaviour in people, attitude towards people and attitude of people towards u... Some change for the better and some change for the worst... Circle of friends who change almost every season...

Mistakes that was done, some may be forgiven but some... may not... Awkward feelings between two beings after an arguement or after truth reveals... Love, hate... the cruelty of life...

Paranoid, a certain feeling when one began to feel insecure in a certain something... Stress, depression, sadness, low morale... words that describes the downfall in life of a person...

Those are just simplified version of my thoughts.. it's more like..brief points.. Right now, I'm in a downfall of life... i mean, yeah.. I got a band, got a family and got a girl whom I love and trust.. but still.. not all things go the way u want them to... right? Problems rises.. situation formed... stress reveals it's cruelty to a person.. I'm experiencing somethin' like that... Insecurity, guilt, hurt, paranoid, stupidity, dumbfounded, betrayal.... Some of the bad feelings I'm havin' now.. Can't say out cuz it's personal...

puGGy's disappearing... she's going away... driftin' away not only from me but from the group as well.. that's sad but it's her choice... she'll miss us and I'm certain that she will.. Maybe, it's just that she need some new friends to hang out with? She's choosin' her path... after the confusion that she had... I hope that she choose the right one... Until today, i still care for her and worry for her like how I did before... But things gotta change... things....gotta change...

Hallie's been actin' strangely lately, I have no idea why. She doesn't want to say things yet but I know, something's wrong... I can't do much except to worry and just be there for her... Miss her a lot... Meetin' her tomorrow and hangin' out with her and her friends... Simply love this girl and I hope that her problems would be solve as soon as possible cuz I'm gettin' really worried.. not only for her.. for us as well...

Those are my thoughts for today... i shall part and rest my thoughts as I need sleep...To my fellow bloggers and readers... till then, i shall bid u all farewell...

Hey ho everyone! it's been a while since i've last typed in.. yeah yeah, I know.. it's like as if it's the same old scripts I've been usin' to start off my blog.. well.. What can i say.. i'm a borin' guy with a repeated life cycle.. i mean.. same ol shit every single day... same shit, different days..

Met Tiffany the other day.. she brought her friend along.. Donna.. i brought B along and well we hung out and we showed them around.. Kinda interestin'.. i mean.. it's interestin' to exchange cultures amongst ourselves.. u know, the way we live.. the way we do things.. almost the same... only some minor differences.. And Tiff did say some things about us Singaporeans.. i mean, she read it from the book "Culture Shock: Singapore".. She read it and she told us on what the book said... It says somethin' about Singaporeans being Conservative.. and things like we're not allowerd to show affection in public.. or things like, we're not suppose to wear revealin' clothes (for girls that is) and we do not curse or swear here... So she thought that Singaporeans are really well discpilined and when she heard about the "Not-To-Wear-Revealing-Clothes", She and her friend, Donna wore t-shirts and jeans..and they were all decent.. But when they saw the girls in Orchard Road wearin' Tank tops and stuff like that.. they were shocked.. That's when they learned that it was okay to dress like that.. And whatever the book says, it's the opposite here.. Come on, I mean.. guys.. over here.. couples make out in public, dressin' up in revealin' clothes.. and Tiffany was surprised when her friend in the University over here cursed.. Cuz to her thoughts.. we don't do all that.. I told her..That book is bullshit.. U gotta know us... FROM us... well, she was interested..interested to learn malay..and some chinese from Bernard.. and well.. it's bad of me.. i thought her some swear words in malay..hehe.. She told us that she wants to hang out again some time.. but I ain't sure when cuz B's workin' this weekend..so no B.. They're cool.. seriously.. they're cool...

Many things had happened over the days.. me goin' back to details..me fallin' in love and lovin' that girl deeply.. HALLIE I LOVE YOU!! Yeah..that girl makes me smile.. every day... u guys should know how it's like..i mean.. u look at the girl u love and she smile back at ya.. it simply makes ur day... that one li'l smile means so much.. whatever it is, I'm hopin' and wishin' that her face would be the face that I'll see everyday till I grow old.. Another words, I'm serious about this girl and I want us to work out... She's awesome!

Currently I'm attached to PLC which is Pasir Laba Camp and I'm a stand by driver there... meanin? Well, meanin' that whenever they call me..I'll be activated... which means that I have to report back to camp within' 2 hours... So this weekend, I'm on standby mode..But it's heaven for me... Cuz it's like, no one bothers u there... first of all i'm from another unit.. and it's awesome! The feeling's awesome cuz they won't bother u! And u basically sleeps the whole time when u don't have detail to do.. and if u have nothin' for the afternoon till evening... u can go home! IT'S FANTASTIC! hahahaha....

okay.. i'm gettin' bored...cuz I got nothin' much to say... So yeah.. i'm outta here.. Gotta go and fetch my girl later on...

Cheers to all!!

Huergh! Back in the sacks... Yeah, boredom... I came back home just to get my stuff so here I am.. At home, on a Tuesday.. Called my girl but couldn't get through cuz her hi-card is low.. i'm goin' to top it up for her... hopefully her phone's with her.. damn, i miss her already.. Although I spend time with her like.. Three days straight this previous weekend.. Hehe... really really nice, a warm and comfortable feelin'.. yeah yeah.. I know some of u might say.. "People in love, of course lah!".. Come on guys, I mean.. u guys should know how it feels right? Being with ur loved one... Just spendin' time together even though u don't say anythin'.. Havin' ourselves in each others' arms is simple enough to say everythin'.. I guess she's workin' today...

New Year's comin' up soon.. God damn, i ain' t got a fuckin' plan.. Last year.. I spent my fuckin' new year in Sunplaza Park with the boys.. hehehe.. It was crappy but I sure had fun.. Town in new year's eve... bad idea.. Lotsa people.. Crowded to the max and u'll be walkin' like as if u got some feet problem.. 0.5cm per second kinda walk.. Got the preview back then in Christmas.. I mean, it's Christmas and the crowd was already like... WHOA!~~~ So where should I go? I told Hallie that I'd meet her this weekend and it's this Friday.. Where should I go? Hmm... Well, let's see...

Supposedly, today's the day when Tiffany arrive here in Singapore.. But I ain't got news from her in my message box... Now I ain't sure if she's comin' or not... But i feel that she's comin' here allright.. Anyways, Tiffany is a friend of mine who I got to know from MySpace and she's from California... She's comin' down here to study for one semester.. i don't know under what programme or what thing... Well, hopfully I could see her.. Kinda excited cuz this is the first time a friend from overseas comin' down here...

Camp is pretty much borin'.. Not much shit happened... The same old thing.. every single fuckin' day since I cannot drive any vehicle outside.. So fuck! Pretty bored.. Well, ain't much on the topic camp.. Don't even wanna talk about it.. Tsk...

Called up pluGGy yesterday and thought of chattin' up with her but then.. I don't know what's wrong.. it seems that her phone's down or she lost her phone or maybe she just don't wanna pick up the phone.. well, sad to hear voicemail cuz I thought I would hear her voice instead.. I guess she's busy.. So whatever it is, just hope she's well and all.. Kinda miss that girl... pluGGy, if u read this message, call B or anyone.. Especially B aight? cuz I would reach him if there's anythin'... If u wanna reach me, call him on weekends.. Cuz u should know, I'm out with him almost every weekends... Take care pluGGy...

Aight, that's it for today.. I'll be back this weekend to write more.. hopefully.. And I have a few new pics to upload.. oh yeah, there's already some new pics for u guys to check out.. One more thing, if u guys feel that my webbie is kinda lame.. tell me so i know, so I can do somethin' about it... maybe re-vamP? Or maybe just do minor adjustments? heh... Aight, take care and cheers to all!

Boo yah!! Hey ho all! i'm back again.. woo! Got a long weekend this weekend... most real, it's Christmas today! Happy holidays to all of those that's celebratin' Christmas! Anyways, 1 week had past and well, my days are borin' in camp.. since i camp drive outside.. All i can do is to book in vehicles for Inspection... Madness i tell ya... It's gettin' bored in there.. Fuck man, when will I ever be a free civilian again... most of the guys I know are gettin' that key to civilian-ness already.. nevermind, one more year to go... Just one more year...

One news for ya'all... Me & Hallie.. we're together now.. officially, together.. So yeah, that's one news.. I felt that I should let u guys know.. Just to update things.. talkin' about hallie, i just came back from her place.. I mean, her void deck that is.. I fetched her home and hung out with her till late mornin'.. Awesome feelin'.. It's been awhile since I got this... sincere feeling of lovin' and being loved... I'm lookin' forward for the days that I'll be hangin' out with her.. Love that girl!!

Whoa, read my tagboard and there are some people taggin'... pluGGy, pluGGy, my dear old pluGGy... Don't worry about it girl... I was taken aback that day when u talked that way.. kinda disapointed too... but girl, u should know me.. Heck, we've known each other for a long time and there was even a period where we were even this close (Doing the finger stick together thingy).. i know ur style, u always talk that way whenever ur feelin' Fucked up.. Another words, one of those LaL moods of urs... heh.. old skool siak! hahaha... Aight, just take care of urself okay? Lookin' forward to see ya again sometime.. Catch up with things and do stupid things like what we always did back then? Cheers pluGGy!

Aight, that's it for this mornin'.. Later on, I'll be sendin' hallie to work.. that is if I wake up.. hopefully I will.. yeah.. take care u guys! Cheers to all!

P.S. Shammie, if ur readin' this or to anyone that knows Shammie... I've been lookin' all over for ya but i guess u pull urself out from friendster and myspace cuz somehow ur profile is not in there and when i went to ur site.. it's no longer around and I lost ur number... i was lookin' for u cuz I wanted to wish ya.. A happy birthday... Well, looks like it's more like... A Happy Belated Birthday to ya shammie! Take care of urself! Cheers!

Hey ho to all... I'm back.. After 7 days of fucked up life in DB... All u see are the four walls in ur cell.. And each time u go out is only in the mornin' to do a stupid PT set... One set consists of 20 jumpin' jacks, 20 sit ups, 20 push-ups and 20 sec of leg raise... And altogether we have to do 4 sets each mornin'... after that, 20 rounds around the "parade" square carryin' two sandbags in the fieldpack, each weighin' about 10 kg... After that shit, u'll do about half hour of foot drills... After that, u go for lunch in ur cell.. And the food in there... SUCKS TO THE CORE... u can't taste a fuckin' taste in ur food and the soup... taste like crap.. it's like water and they just add a li'l bit of flavourin'.. And the veges on the "dish"... it's even worse..it's like, soggy and left there for a long time.. and it somehow make u lose ur appetite.. I've only been in there for 7 days and it was fucked up in there... After lunch, u do nothin' but sit in ur cell until dinner time... and dinner's at 4.. can u believe that? And after that, u do the same shit, just sit in there.. And think of the wrongs u've done... until it's lights off time... luckily I ain't alone in there.. I was in there together with 4 other cellmates... Among them, I was the only one with a 7 day sentence while the rest was with a 30 or 40 days sentence.. And i respect them cuz they can hang on... by today, some of 'em are out already cuz they did their time... It's really fucked up in there... And can u believe this? I have to call a Lance Coporal, "sir" when I'm in there... And they act all fucked up just because they're from the PROVOST unit... but some of 'em are okay but some are like stuck up... Whatever it is, I know that I'm outta there... This time, i'll watch my steps real close. So to those NSF or NSF-To-Be... Never.. i say again, NEVER GO IN DB...

Anyways, i'm back to my normal days again... And everything's goin' fine with Hallie... Slowly, I'm beginnin' to understand her and i guess that she's beginnin' to understand me... Hmm.. She's awesome, she's the light at the end of that long tunnel which keeps me goin' on even when I'm down. I love this girl so much! i'll be meetin' her later in the day... To hang out maybe... or watch movie.. or stuff like that...

Thanks to the DB fuck that I didn't get to perform with my band the other day.. It was the most fucked up feelin'...really fucked up...

Called pluGGy up early yesterday to talk to her and somehow, I feel that she changed... She ain't the same ol' pluGGy that she used to be... i just miss the old pluGGy... I can't change her, she becomes who she wants to be... Whatever it is, I'm am tryin' hard to see her as the same pluGGy that I knew 4 years ago... pluGGy, if ur readin' this... miss ya and good luck in choosin' ur path... (Oh...kay.. I don't really get what I'm tryin' to say.. but I hope u guys understand what I mean...)

Aight, that's it for today, I'm outta here... Cheers to all!

Aight aight... Forgot one more thing ya'all... This Saturday, No Direction's playin' RP (Republic Poly)... Last band.. I was lookin' forward to get this down but dang, this shit is messin' me up.. But ND's playin', with or without me... Just to let ya'all know... I can't make it but guys, do come down and support the band aight? I can't believe I'm missin' a show..

Feelin' fucked up and afraid of what's to become tomorrow...

Hey all... How's it hangin'... i've been away for a while and for sure that I've been missin'... November this year, is the worst month I ever had in 2004... I crashed twiced, didn't turn up for detail (through miscommunication with my Staff Sargeant), woke up late for detail (Unintentionally), lost my phone line, lost contact with my girl and now... lost my phone... It's really fucked up! I guess that many of u been wonderin' on why I've not been around... Too many shit has been goin' on... I'm at home today (Monday) cuz I got a halfday off today.. My sargeant broke the news on my case (Chargin' me)... And well, after waitin' for two weeks, I'm bein' charged tomorrow... 8am... Smartest four, kiwi-ed boots... Punishment is still unknown... My sargeant gave me an off cuz he wanted me to spend time at home and try not to think before I turn up for tomorrow... It's either a 7 days DB or a 21 days SOL (Suspension Of Leave)... I'm so fucked... That's for sure!

I got my baby back.. Found her and hung out with her last Saturday.. It was an awesome feelin'.. Gettin' to see her and all.. And hang out... It was simply undescribable... I love u baby! and guys, just to clear things out... Me & Hallie, we're just datin' and we ain't officially a couple yet.. So don't assume that we are together aight? Hangin' out with her that day really made me smile again after all this shitness that had been goin' on... I simply love this girl... Baby, if ur readin' this, I love ya!

I feel so fucked up right now knowin' that I'll either be goin' to DB or SOL tomorrow... My parents know nuts about what's goin' on and I don't intend to tell 'em... Just wanna lay low and pretend that I'm in camp doin' okay... I don't want them to worry that much.. The ND crew knows about this and I feel that pluGGy should know this too.. I don't have her number but pluGGy, if ur readin' this, I'll be goin' missin' for a while, aight? Hope to see u around again...

Aight dawgs... I'ma outta here, gonna smoke the weed... Word? Peace out!

Ola to all! I'm back at home.. Finally.. I got a detail for tomorrow (Sunday) But Hell, I don't wanna go! I told my Staff Sargeant that I got plans... I understand that it's hard for him to find replacements.. First of all, he ain't the detailin' Spec... Some other guy.. Which doesn't know how to do detailin'.. Everybody's tired of camp.. They're sick of the details that they get... Tons of details but less off days... Empty promises... We work overtime but get the same friggin' pay... If it was an outside job, we would earn god knows how much extra dollars just to work at those extra time... The indented vehicles was put at a different timing but when the actual thing happens, it always turns out later.. Like yesterday, my detail started at 5:30am... For the recruits' grenade throwin' at the live range in Pasir Laba Camp... So yeah, the 5 of us reported there at 5:30 on the dot... But the guys in Infantry wasn't ready to move out... In the end, we ended up movin' off around 6:30... Reached at the ground around 7 plus... Got there, waited for those dumbos to end their trainin'.. All in all, it ended around 6pm... Move out from there, head back to camp... And guess what? I got another detail! This time, it's coverin' safety in East Coast Park for their 14 click route march! How awesome can it be? So there I go again with two other drivers... Reach back camp around 7pm.. And those in Infantry decided to move out at 7:45pm... So There I go again.. Head out to East Coast... Waited there.. Coverin' safety... Sit in my Rover together with one of the medics... And what time it ended? 5:30am, the next day... And in my detail sheet.. Supposedly to have another detail at 6am... I didn't have enough sleep! So when I got back in camp, I spoke to my Staff Sargeant that I can't do it... I might doze off while drivin' and cause some accident... So he got a replacement for me... And here I am! I got home... Finally.. It's fucked up to be in camp... Most of the people that doesn't know much about what's goin' on, they might think that drivers are the slackiest vocation u can get in the army... But it ain't.. It can stress u up in the mind... I'm tryin' to hold on...

On Thursday, I went down to Bugis... Went to this Cafe where Hallie is workin'.. Hopin' to see her at the counter when I got down.. But all hopes fails when there was no sight of her... Wanted to approach the staffs there but I just didn't have the guts to ask... I mean, what would they think? So, my efforts were all burnt... Met up with B.. Hung out and he spoke to me... When he met me, he said..."We need to talk..." And that talk was bad news... When I typed in my previous entry, I said somethin' about What Could Be Worse? This is it... I'm in the hot zone... I can't say it out here cuz it's confidential.. But what he told me really got me... Bad Details, No Phone, Missin' Girlfriend and now this? I got a few people eyes turned red...

That's it for today... i can't type in much no more... Outta here...

Hey ho to all! I guess it's peaceful these days ey? I've not been home for almost two weeks... Madness ain't it? Last week, my weekend was burnt cuz I had to send those recruits to Mandai 300m Range, it's somewhere near the Night Safari. And guess what? I had to stay there from 8 in the mornin' till 12am the next day? Wake up at 6am, head out to the company, pick up those recruits and head down to the range... Reach there roughly around 7 plus in the mornin'.. and once we're there, we sleep... All in all there's 8 drivers includin' me... We sleep till lunch time then we wake up again... eat our lunch, talk shit with each other, then go back to sleep... dinner time, wake up, talk shit.. then sleep again... wake up at night to go back to camp.. Once we're in camp, it's like 12 plus in the mornin' the next day... Same repeated cycle for Friday, Saturday and Sunday... That ain't bad.. the thing that I was fucked up about was that, the detail was a cock up! I planned up for the Raya outin' last weekend and boom! I got the detail sheet on Friday sayin' that I'm going for range.. Ain't that awesome?! Everybody was lookin' forward to go out that day includin' myself cuz that was the only day my dear Hallie can go out with me and my friends... I had never felt so fucked up! Not only that, I hit a rover with a 5 tonner while movin' out of the parkin' lot.. what can be worse? It was night time, it was rainin' heavily... My side view mirrors were all covered up with rain drops and my side window was fogged up due to the air con in the cabin of my tonner.. So another words, I can't see shit! So bang, there I go, half of the front bumper of the rover was scraped off... big time! Right now, I'm the topic for the season in MT Line... "Popular" and the "In-Thing" for the season.. Fucked up.. Okay, enough of that.. After comin' back on Sunday, I check out my detail for Monday... Okay, so it's In-Camp aread, coverin' safety... Meanin', I'll be stayin' in camp and do safety for the soldiers... So there I go, reportin' there... The next thing I know.. BOOM.. I'm in Tekong... How cock up can the details be? Supposedly, I'm to be in Tekong for 5 days... but I went back to mainland cuz the Sargeant that I was attached to, got replacements for me... And not only that, my rover brokedown when I was in Tekong... I was really at the point of breakin'.. I feel that I could lose my mind anytime...

That wasn't it... My line had been cut off, so right now, contact is difficult for everyone, includin' myself... That ain't the worst... I called up Hallie when I was in Tekong usin' the Public Phone and guess what? M1 cut off her line too! Both with the same reason, unpaid bills... Right now, I'm missin' her dearly... Cuz I don't know how to reach her and I guess that she doesn't know how to reach me too... I don't have her home number.. and the only contact was her phone.. I was hoping that she'd pick up the phone but all I hear when I dialled her number was..."The M1 customer that ur callin' is temporarily out of service..." I was like dragged down to the ground and if possible, pushed down into the soil and dug in... I was feelin' waaaay fucked up that day.. I worry on Hallie and I'm misisn' her so much... The only way is to either wait for her at her place...hopefully we would meet at the lift lobby... or go to her work place and hope that she's workin' on that day... or go up to her house (although I have no idea on which unit she's stayin' in, maybe I can try knockin' at every Malay house on that floor!)... Hallie baby, if ur readin' this, I want u to know that I'm missin' u and I really really wanna meet up with u! And I'm really sorry for everything dear...

Currently, I'm typin' out this blog in the DO's Office (Duty Officer) cuz I'm the duty driver for today... So right now, chillin' out at the office typin' out this blog.. Boredom... Simply lookin' forward for my weekend...I miss my girl, I got no line, I'm the bull's eye of my MT Line... POWER GEDEGAH!!! Madness!!! ARGH!!!

*Sigh*... that's it, I'm outta here... Till then... Offheidesen!

P.S. Hallie baby, I've put ur pics out of my blog... Now u don't have to worry aight? Love ya!

Hey hey hey! Hey ho to all of ya! And today, being the first new day of the Islamic calendar...I wanna wish ya'all... "Selamat Hari Raya"!!!! I would like to apologise to everyone out there, anyone that I've wronged... Hopefully u would forgive me... Right now, I'm feelin' really bad...

Promised Hallie that I'd bought her the Honey Chicken that they're sellin' in Geylang... And I did.. She told me to get two but I bought her extras... Well, to give some to her family... So there I was, buyin' the Honey Chicken... After that, I hung out with the bunch... The so called, usual bunch with some of the old chatters joinin' us after not meetin' for a long time.. So yeah.. Hung out, chatted and laugh away... And after that, went to play MOHAA in Grandlink... All this time, I totally forget about Hallie... The thing is, I called her before we went to play MOHAA... But she didn't pick up my call. So I take it that she's busy helpin' out at home with Raya preparation. I promised her and yet I didn't make it... It's not that I didn't but it, I did... After MOHAA, I called her a few dozen times but to no avail... She switch off her phone. I guess that she's either mad at me or she's busy or she's sleepin'... But I take it that she's mad at me... Wild guess but the probable chances are that. I'm feelin' so fuckin' bad right now and I don't know how i'm gonna make it up to her... I hope that she would forgive me...

Anyways, hung out with the bunch and puGGy was one of them... It was fun, hangin' out with the old bunch and most real, have not hung out with puGGy for quite some time and well, hangin' out with her again.. Was madness.. Hehehe... Just like the old times.. The chatter days..

Geylang was packed (Like always, every fuckin' year)... but these days, it ain't the same no more.. The place, simply disgust me.. Okay, not the place, the place is nice... but the people there... Most of 'em.. Make me not want to go there at all.. It's hot, it's jam packed and u walk like 1cm/sec... small li'l tiny steps to make ur move... Being a big guy, it was hard to manouver in between tight spaces... Met some old friends (I think).. or was it saw... Met my camp mates... and bla bla bla.. the usual shit when u go Geylang.. If u were a regular there... U'll meet people u didn't even meet for ages... and suddenly, boom.. they're right in front of ya. So my conclusion, Geylang is 50/50 on the good and bad side.. (Whatever I meant... SOCKS!)...

That's it for today, don't feel like typin' out no more cuz I'm feelin' super bad... Cheers to all!

"Kami dari Carlsberg hendak mengucapkan, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua umat umat Islam... Berayalah bersama, Carlsberg...Probably the best beer in the world." - Made up by Fan...

Whoa... Not been in here for quite some time.. And god damn.. People hate me huh? What can I do? There's no such thing as everybody likin' u... So yeah, there's the haters and there's the likers and there's the neutral party... I don't know, after readin' the tagboard, I seriously don't know what I've done wrong and seriously, why must we resort to violence ey? Why can't humans talk in a peaceful manner? I mean, vulgarities and all and bein' intimidatin'... I mean, about Dzafir, i don't know, just ignore him for a while.. He's pushin' it... Dzaf, please, stop the taggin'... For cryin' out loud Fir, it's my blog... Chill out for a while aight?

I'm givin' up... Lal... Aight, tired of typin' for a while... Be back.. whenever I'm back.. So yeah, offheidesen!

Guten tag und tut mir!

Hey ho all! how's it been? I know that it's been quite a while since I've last typed in my entry... Some of u may be wonderin', what's goin' on? nothin' much... Don't have much time anymore for anythin'.. I mean, i don't even write in my diary no more... Cuz everytime my day's done in camp, I would be too tired to write... Can't even think straight.. The number of details I'm havin' is increasin'.. And guess what? I even have detail on Sunday and that is today... My first weekend detail.. Fucked up ain't it? I'll make sure they pay me back with one off day... Fuckin' weekend and they take it away... Whatever it is, it's good, cuz I can get my mileage.. I'll be sendin' the recruits to bedok camp... I have no idea for what... And what's best, this will be my first troop lift... insane...And I have another detail tomorrow... power packed! hehehe...

Allright, many things happened since i last wrote... My & puGGy, we've not been talkin' much or even SMS cuz I guess she's busy and all.. And same goes to me.. I don't want to bother her... Miss her.. Yes I do, big time.. But i can't do much about it... And I guess that I'm movin' on... Memories remains...

I've found someone... Someone of my choice... after dates and dates.. I found the right one... She's nice, she's sweet, she's adorably cute and she's cool... She cares and she worries for me... And I like her...a lot! We've known each other for quite some time now and well... I guess we're datin'... In my terms, it's datin', I don't know about hers... Hallie's her name... My beautiful sweet angel... Sweet Angel With A Cool Atittude! hehehe...

Aight, I guess I should stop talkn' about her, u guys might get bored of it... Anyways, ain't much left to say.. so u know what? I'm outta here... I'll write in again whenever I'll write in...

Miss D - hey, I ain't mad at ya... Don't worry.. aight? Cheers!