And most real..i've just read my blog..and fuck..i have a lot of typos!! amazing isn't it? i'm simply lazy to re-type everything..so guys..if ur read my past blog...u guys figure out the words..aight?

Sweating...hot..feelin' lonely...Suddenly i miss a lot of people...And most real..suddenly i missed my ex...Ainun...i mean..what the fuck..after two years..comin' to three years of not contacting her..suddenly i miss her? Why? Maybe being the reason i talked to my grandma yesterday abou ther....Well,me and my granny in my room..at night..we talked about things..how the estate change..about how the people here moved out..and new neighbours and stuff..and we talked about my cats..come to think of it..I roughly calculated..i think we have taken care of about almost 100 cats...as time goes by...right now..we're havin' like 15 cats at home. 15 CATS!! at home?! but still did'nt beat the last record which was 18 cats...and we talked about all the different favourite cats and stuff..and there was one time wwhereby Ainun took this cat home to my home because it wa a small kitten and it was raining and the poor li'l kitten was shivering with cold and the kitten's fur was wet and stuff..so Ainun was pitying that cat...I took it home..and took care of it till it's okay. Ainun..the girl whom I've been with for almost three eyars...comes to waste..no three years past since I broke up with her...last seen her..or last..hear her... Wonering how she's like,sometimes i feel like callin' her up..ask her how she's doin or maybe ask her out to catch out with old times. But then again,I don't have the courage to do that...So yeah..I shall just let it be and left alone..wondering...

Here i am..sittin' down on the floor while I'm typing out my blog and wondering what's going on with things surrounding me this days....Friends havin' problems here and there..and friends who's left lost and wondering...that's kinda madness..As for me..I guess that I really have to move on from now on..i really can't stick around and wonder what happens next and stuff...cuz for real...she loves that someone a lot and that someone loves her a lot. I've learn that i shouldn't type out SMS messages any o how... I should be happy for them...cuz they're realyl happy for one another..so i guess..I gotta take my passport..and leave this place called.."My Past".

Talkin' about movin' on...About the girl named Sabrina..my mind is already off from her..cuz after learning new things about her,the new shit she does..the way she plays the "game" I don't really like her anymore. True colours exposed after what has been done. Argued with her the other time because I started it (being the firestarter). saying her stuff and all but somehow Pluggy got involved in it and i was kinda pissed off cuz lpuggy now..is a best friend of mine and like my own sis..how come her names appear in the sms that Sabrina sent..i asked Pluggy if that statement was true...Pluggy did not say whatever Sabrina types out in the SMS message..i know Pluggy wouldn't say that..so most real..pluggy asked for Sab's number..and instantly gives her a call. God knows what happens during that phone call..and stuff...I wanted to take my trumpet back but Sabrina..LYING her way by saying that she's busy..cuz she's workin..and yeah..workin'..like as if..when I heard the news that when i sent the message to Inn sayin' that Sab's workin'..inn ask Sab where was she at that moment..she was out with her friends a Bugis hangin' out..so what does that conclude..that she's..a two headed 'snake"? Double faced sly girl....that's what she is...

Yesterday..Inn got my trumpet back..or was it two days back..he got the trumpet back for me..and most real..Inn's enjoying my trumpet now..i guess..hehe...It's madness..

As for today..i ain't got fuckin' much things to do and I'm fuckin' bored which most probably i'll be hangin' out with Malik again. I wanted to go to far East to get another Mesh cap..of different colours. It's only 5 bucks..it's fuckin' 5 BUCKS!! It's cheap and besidees..it looks nice.. Gotta get some buttons too to put on my cap. Currently I have a blue trucker's cap (mesh cap,only with a different name)

Allrighty then,I'm outta here...oh wait...last thing in mind...I'll be sessioning a ska band..for one gig...playing the trumpet..THE TRUMPET! holy shit..just as I was about to stop playin' the trumpet..they have to call me back in to session for them...Damn it!...anyways..CHEERS!

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

Holy crap,my body's aching and I don't know why. Right now I'm in front of the comp since the time I woke up..which was like..what? 8 plus in the morning. What's up with me wakin' u pearly in the mornings man? I mean,it's like,I should be sleepin' but no...I'm awake. Maybe my body clock wants to get ready for NS or something...which is like..WAAAAAAY long way to go. Yesterday's gig was fuckin' awesome! It was amazing and the crowd is waaaaay much better than last year maybe being the reason it's not raining and it's not during Hari Raya and maybe it's because this is the second Baybeats that happened. Elisebelle Tears was fuckin' awesome! Their music,their sound and vocals was good. Comin' from Malaysia,they are one good band.

While I was standing in front with my friends my slippers got detached due to the kids moshing and steppin' on my slippers. So I was bare footed,without my slippers and standing on the wet grass ground. WOW! Remind me,never to wear slippers to gig if I wanna stand in front. No,make that,never to wear slippers to go to a gig which is on a grass patch,a wet grass patch that is. Met a lot of people yesterday and I was like goin' everywhere to shake my friends' hands. Losing Streak guys were there,Incoincidence was there,Plan 2 Fool was there...any many others...

After the gig,went out with B and Shain to Plaza Singapura to catch a late night movie.Bernard bought the tickets earlier on so yeah,we got a secured place. Went to watch this movie by Rob Zombie and I've forgotten the title. It's a sick show,a fuckin' gross and sick and sadistic kinda show. It's about torture...a li'l bit of bondage action there and this and that...bla bla bla. So for those of u who loves gore and those who are sadistic...yeah..watch this show..i recommend ya!

Yesterday was a great day,cuz u know why? I get to spend the whole day with pluggy and that was great. While in the bus heading down to town,sittin' beside her and listening to the same music...and suddenly there was this slow song playing..it was by Simple Plan...it's nice..and slow..and the lyrics was..well..sorta something for me and her...It was as if the song was from me to her. Then suddenly a sudden flashback hits my head thinking back of everything..the things I did with her,the times I had with her and somehow it made me smile and at the same time..it made me sad. But the main thing is,I get to spend time with her and that was fantastic! I hope she's going to Baybeats again today so that i can see her. well guys,just had to let that out!

BIGguy...signing off!

[ Music Blasting: Lifehouse - Everything ] [ Mood :-: Dodgy ]

Morning to all! Amazingly,I woke up at 6 plus in the morning today after hearing the commotions in my home of my brother going off to camp. He'll be away for about two weeks and boy,am I happy. I'm fuckin' glad that he won't be home cuz I really hate him sooo fuckin' much. It's only me and my grandma at home right now and it's fuckin' boring. Slept at 3 plus yesterday and here I am now. Got nothing to do so I surf around people's journals. And it's like,stress fills up people's busy days and sadness in some. I'm not alone...

I didn't know that I could put up more stress in someone's life and I'm really sorry. Didn't mean to put up that behaviour the day I chattered with her. I'm beginning to miss those people that I normally slack with,those who started schooling and getting busy with their school lives. I'm accepting the fact that people do change and I for one is changing without me realising it. But whatever it is,they still keeps the same name and it's still them, only that they change a li'l bit with their style and all and hey...people grow up and tend to change. Sometimes,when people are down,I try to be there for them but sometimes it simply doesn't work no matter how much I tried. Feeling helpless and hopeless when I fail to cheer a person up...that sucks. And sometimes when u try to make things better,it would end up all wrong. I guess that this is all parts and parcel of life,the challenge...the test of life given to us by god to see how we handle our situations and problems,how we take it and how we solve those problems. Some would take it the hard way and some would take the easy way out either by not caring about it (only to lead to more problems) or simply..some do it the coward's way (e.g. Suicide) Which I feel is so wrong. Running away from problems won't do any good but in fact stress u up to more problems.

[ Music Blasting: March Twelve - Brainwashed ]

Whatever I just typed out just now was not pointing to anyone but simply to say out my views. And trust...yes the good old glorious trust. When u earn it,that's good but when u lose that trust u have on someone or that someone losing trust from u...that's bad. Cuz once a trust is broken it's really difficult to earn it back...and yeah..I've learnt that the hard way.

[ Music Blasting: My Squared Circle - Ana ]

Listening to MSC...they'll be playin' this Sunday on Baybeats 2003 and lucky them they'll be sharing the stage with The Gloria Record... That would be awesome but I get to share the stage with Brandtson and that's good enough. And hey,guess what...Pigjelly...oops..I mean..Pugjelly's doing the opening for Sum41 on 30th July at Fort Canning... Amazing ey...maybe..just maybe..the reason being..they are WHITE. So yeah,they get oh-so-popular because they're white. A Singapore BASED Australian band getting known here. They're okay and the music they play,is typical pop punk crap and I feel that MSC can kick their asses big time! And their behaviour,especially the drummer...Adam or whatever his name is...have this fucked up character and that fucked up face which has I'm-the-best-in-the-world look written all over it. Except for Mashashi,the guitarist from Gobachev who's playin' for them now,he's the nice guy and friendly..unlike the rest of Pugjelly.

To anyone out there who felt that they've been USED and CONFUSED by someone...I'm really sorry for what had happened and all I can say is...take it easy cuz there's always someone better out there and most real...don't be sad or shed tears for that person cuz whatever it is...she ain't worth it. I know,cuz I've been there.

Till then...

Live life to the fullest cuz u'll never know just when u might go back "home"...

Lyrics

Kiss Me,Diss Me by Homegrown

I don't want to sit next to you.
I can't believe you called me so soon.
Don't try to justify what you did to me.

You're just one of those troubled girls.
Using me for everything but love.
Don't make excuses for what you did to me.

You kissed me then dissed me and then you say you miss me.
You used me, confuse me but you don't want to lose me.

Don't talk to me.
Don't acknowledge me anymore.
I'm just another score.

I used to be all nice and sweet.
Giving everything you want and need.
I can't believe I did it all for nothing.

Now I'm bitter I can't take no more.
Don't blame this on your bad childhood.
That doesn't justify what you did to me.

I will run away if you stay.
Screw your head on straight so it stays.

"Ah...the song,totally fit some parts of my life and yes some of u may know who it goes out to...So yeah..and to everyone else who had used some others as their plaster of boredom to fill in their loneliness"

[Music Blasting: Coldplay - In My Place ] [ Mood :-: LaL ]

Wow..amazingly I stayed home today...Madness ey? Nothin' much happened today except that Malek says that he wants to slack and ton the night..but then,no calls from him..so fuck it. Ngast! Chatted with Shammie on the net but then again..she was in one of her bad moods..so it was a bad chatting..so it's okay...I don't wanna be mad or angry about it..cuz everybody does that.

Right now,sitting in front of the comp..not knowing what to do..and damn..it's getting boring. *sigh*. Wow,it's really gettin' boring and slackin' is seriously killing me cuz it's like..there's no where else to go..and not much of people to slack with. It's always either town...Starbucks Sommerset...Mitre Hotel...BK Century Square...Bedok Skate Park..or some other void decks. Should I explore more on singapore..hmm...ntah ah eh. Shits..lotsa shits..shit shit shit...*SPLAT* HOLY SHIT! Ngast! boredom makes peopl talk crap..just look at my journal...it's fuckin' boring..the same old thing..it's no longer like a fuckin journal..it's like a log book or something...

8:15am : breakfast and tv
9.00am: Chat on the comp
11:00am: Taken my shower and head down to town

Bla bla bla..that kinda log thingy....NGAST!

Okay I'm outta here,got nothin in mind to type out anything.

Holy shmoly...it's like comin' to 11 now. I had the nicest sleep today...got my rest..caught up with my sleep again... Hehehe,Cuz I've been out for the past nights..I'm always out..never at home..cuz everytime I'm ouside..I don't feel like comin' home..that's madness. Just had my breakfast...about a few packets of Indo Mee Goreng...the instang noodle thingy.. Hehe...Boleh tahan teruk lah..at least I have something to eat.

Yesterday,I hanged out with Didi and played some card games. We switch between "stress" and "taitee" but we played stress more. Yesterday there was some kind of a comp going on at the skate comp in Bedok..I saw the wall placed there...and there were climbers..so my guess was,it was a rock climbing comp...Cuz I don't see any skaters using the vert. So yeah..there it was..Slacked with didi in bedok..soon after that..went to Tamp to meet up with Dil...to take my keys. Hanged out and Tamp..and went up that place...shit I've forgotten the name...whatever it is...to play CS..And we did..and suddenly..mad Wan (dil's brother) and Am in there. Played a couple of maps and rounds...till they went off..so we left. Went down to Dzul Divine's house cuz Am wanted to take something. Then slack..bla bla bla..and I went home.

So here I am today...yesterday..was like the only day i went back early...well..not that early..but it's still early for me..around 12 plus I got home. So yeah..cool ain't it? Hehehe...Okay then..I'm off..to do some online..interaction with some people...(chatting)...

Cheers!

HUARGH!!! Hahahah..yeah!! Yesterday..I had the time of my life! Went out slackin' with Pluggy,Didi,Shammie,Sammy,Din,IK,Fan,Azri... And it was madness...Hanged out and there was laughter all the way...Din was like...laggin' yesterday..hehe..cuz it was like..whenever we talk..he would response like seconds later and with his blur look and cute teddy-like features...that made it all funny. Sammy dropped by for a while cuz he had to go jammin' in the evening with One-Eighty and Dan dropped by for a while when he came along with Din. Talked about almost everything and it was madness..but one thing that left me so outcast...School...they were talkin' about school and I was like..."Uh...Shit...I ain't schoolin'...ain't got much to say..so..erm..." That kinda shit..hehe. When I first arrived there...I didn't say much to Shammie cuz I feel kinda awkward after the lectures she gave me...Not saying those lectures are bad cuz they're for my own good but I simply felt weird and awkward to talk to her... But after a while..as time goes by...the ice slowly melted and we slowly began to talk to each other. I don't know if that was a good sign or a good thing..but to me...it's good..cuz we're talking again...but..Ntah lah.

As soon as evening comes..I took out my deck of cards...and started playing "stress"..First up was with pluggy..and well..it was stressful...hehe...and then Shammie slowly understands the game and she tries it out..and to see her play is kinda funny and cute in a way...she was like all excited and panicking on which cards to put..hehe..and she's always confused between the King,Queen & Jack... It was madness....but overall..I guessed that yesterday's slackin' session..did make everyone's day.

Soon after that,went back home to meet my neighbourhood mates. Hanged out with them,talk shit...talk about problems...and played pool... Stayed out till like 4 plus in the morning...and by that was when I went home. Haig Road is like...so not dead even in the late hours...Houses still have lights switched on..and there's still like people walkin' around and yesterday..saw some people arguing and fighting with a Cabbie... But me and my mates,we can't be bothered by it.

Hmmm...Friday...which is..today...what should I do? It's like..fuckin' boring. Where should I go? What should I do? Stay home..or outside...I'd choose outside. And most real..my fuckin' keys are still at Dil's place..and I need them badly..cuz everytime I go out...comin' back would be a problem..cuz I have to press the bell of my door and stuff..so it's like..troublesome. Dil..if ur readin' this..I need those keys back dude! Hehehe... allrighty,that's enough for today's entry...I'm outta here!

Peace Out!

Ah madness! I'm blogging again...buahahahahaha..yeah! Got off from Dil's place around..3...took the bus to Sengkang Interchange with IK...and then took 87 back to his place... Took his handphone...borrowed the phone cuz my phone's down..So IK..Once again..THANKS FOR THE PHONE DUDE! Ur Smoth!! hahahaha...Got home..around 4 plus.

Only to realize..that I left my keys at Dil's place...how amazing...Took everything else...but the key..Nice Hezwan..nice! So as i got home,looked at the carpark...No sign of both my dad's and brother's car..so another words..no one's home..How nice? As soon as I reached the doorstep,I saw the windows closed (normally my mom does this when no one is around thinking there might be fire cuz people smoke and tend to throw the butt anyhow)...So there I was..stranded outside..at the door...with no cash and no companion. Luckily there was a seat outside that my dad made long ago...So i sat there...listening to No Direction's new recording and spotting mistakes and stuff..after a while..I got fuckin' bored and I needed to do something..So i went down..went to the coffee shop across the street. Ain't got dough..so i told the lady that I'll owe her some cash for the ciggies...So yeah..got my ciggies and went back up..still no one's home...sat outside again..till I got bored,went down..chill out at the stoned sits below..like one lost boy..and listen to my discman (same old stuff again) and smoke away. While doing that,as always..thoughts runs through my mind...Stupid thoughts,crazy thoughts and other shit. around 8 plus,saw my bro's car drivin' in. So yeah..got home...finally. From 4 plus to 8 plus..wow! How amazing...Boredom! Got back home,tested the phone that IK lend to me...it works..so I search for my SIM card..and fuck..it's not around..it's in my dad's phone. And now,I don't have a clue on where he puts it...so fuck! I can't read my messages for now,have to wait for my dad!

So here I am,with no phone...bored with nothing to do...listening to Emo Songs...typing out this blog. *sigh* What a life...yeah yeah..what? Yeah..totally I have no life..agaiN? yeap..I should get a life...DAMN! *sigh* Wonder what pluggy's doing...been a long time..wonder how she's coping with her new classmates...(she stayed back remember? Pity her...she should pass but i don't know how that happened) Pluggy...tahan aje...hehehe...

Well then mates...gotta go off...peace out..chill out..whatever! i'm outta here...SEE YA!

NgASt! Whoa~~ Just woke up...around 10+ and I'm like stoned and my eyes are teary.Damn! I still ain't got a phone,it went dead cuz my stupid cat peed on it.Of all the things,why my phone? There it was,innocently charging on top of the box and that box,happened to be my cat's target and wow! Some of the "holy" juice of the cat got onto my phone,into it and now...damaged my phone. Felt so naked without my phone,it's like,something's missing. Can't message,can't get messages,can't call out and I can get any calls. Can't make phonecalls to my contacts cuz all of the numbers,are in my phone and I ain't a good person to remember things so yeah...FUCK!

I'm not at home again,I'm at Dilah's. Well, I don't know how I ended up here...hehe,maybe it's the boredom that drives me to sleepover. Yesterday went out to slack with Dil,Nora and IK at BK in Tampines...Slacked there till about 4 plus where Dil decided to jam...for fun so we asked Sammy and Tweet along...Poor them,they just came back from school. Arrived there in BMC and saw many other people...Incoincidence jammed,Acap was there and later Suhayl came and while we were jammin'...Inn and Sabrina came. WoW! We jammed and played some songs from NoFX,Finch,Slickshoes,Ataris and some crappy stuff...hehe. Had fun though. After our session,we went over next door cuz Suhayl,Inn,Rab and Sabrina was were jammin'. And WoW! They played "Downside Emotions" hehehe... After that whole session thingy..sat outside for awhile and Sabrina showed me this pendant thingy she was wearing around her neck. It was from Inn...and without realizing,they've been together for one month...WOW! Felt a li'l bit of lalness in me after what she told me but then...fuck it! Went to Tampines S-11 and ate there. Met D'omar,Sofyn,Dzafir and Fidah...Suprisingly...

After the eating,the crapping,the madness we decided to go off and before that,Dilah was like saying..."Ton rumah aku ah...serious..SERIOUS" hehe...so yeah..I somehow got psychoed to go and IK came along. Search for cash in my "piggy bank" a.k.a left pocket of my berms and wow! Without realizing,I got like more than 8 bucks in there...bought ciggies and we set off. So here I am now...sitting in front of the comp with Dil and IK still asleep...

Should go off around 12 plus or something cuz Dil's workin' today...night shift. So yeah,I guess I typed out too much...so...till then!

Cheers!

[ Music Blasting : Penfold - Breathing Lessons ] [ Mood :-: Mad/Angry/Bored ]

I don't know why but I'm feelin' kinda sucky....Chatted with someone new just now and she happens to know Fareza...whom happens to know pluggy too...so wow! Yeah..she saw me when I hanged out with Pluggy the other day...hehe...What a small world ey? Totally a small world.... I ain't got much of a plan today,hate my bother for being such a jerkoff...he can go fuck his own ass with a barrelled gun...that's one thing for sure. I hate him soo much,just wished somehow..that he got into some kind of an accident or something..and he simply die off..or simply...he should just get the fuck out of here...get married or something... Right now...sittin in front of the comp..since like...what?...8 plus in the morning..how amazing can that be...For the past few nights..I've not been sleeping at home..that's the best part! It's either I'm sleeping at a friend's place..or simply hanging out outside..at void decks..parks or some places...talking shit..or doing crap..hehehe...That's what I do...these days..life's the same old thing..nothin' exciting..no one new...well..maybe a few..but then..nothin' much...and the band..well..doing okay...Bernard's getting a new guitar..and I'm suppose to get a new guitar...Bernard was telling me to sell off my Washburn and my trumpet...but i simply don't know how to do it...

Good Idea though..sell it off..and get that Epiphone I've always wanted. *sigh* Loads of crazy shit been happening these days...complicated life stories from my friends...heartbreakin' moments for some...thoughts of loved one..can crush u like tons of bricks falling onto u. Kinda true..but fuck it..life is this way..it's how it is..I'm sure those veterans...old skool people...the seniors i mean...I'm sure they went through a whole load of shit like these before they finally settlled down in their final moments of their lifes....I'm getting bored...I ain't schooling..and i ain't got anything...The guys started school and now...there's like lesser people for me to slack with..amazing huh? Shit..it's pretty boring..i guess I'll go do something stupid right now...peace out peeps! and Do take care!

Cheers Mate!

Whia!! I was feeling wonked just now! Had a couple of drinks and well...I floated away...sorta...I'm at Anu?allison's place right now,,,having some sort of a surprise party for Shain...hehe. It's a big bunch down here. Dzafir,B,Tweet,Mon,Fidah,Shain,D'omar,Yan,Yam,Allison,Yam,Mira,Lutfi,Hidir,Farizwan,Dewi,Elfrie,Akram,Didi,Sofyn...WoW! Talking bout big bunch! Hehehe. Right now I'm sitting in the room together with Akram and D'omar...typing out my blog.Running out of Ciggies...Damn! Should have bought it just now and damn Simei is such a place where there's no shops that opens up at night...Blardee Bun! For the past three days I wasn't home...and I didn't take out my lens...So right now..my eyes are fuckin' hurt! Three days back...I went out to Mitre..and didn't come home...the second day...Hanged out at Tamp for that whole day..went to my brother's place to sleeover...went back today....and only for a short while..and here I am...Jammed just now..and then to here... Whoa..big day! Hehehe..Madness I tell ya! I don't feel like going home... I guess that I'll be staying the night here..
And most real,just now,on the way to this place...Pluggy called me up saying that she was bored..hehe..no one's home and she didn't go out..and WHOA! Get to talk to her for some time..it's been a long time since that happened... Her school's starting soon and she told me that her schedule is fuckin' tight...so I guess that it's lesser time to hang out with her. Madness! Again.... My eyes are still fuckin' hurt! Damn! Well then,I guess that Allison's gotta use the comp now..so I'm off..be back again! Peace out!

CHEERS!

That past entry...was a waaaay back entry that I've been trying to put in..but I can't cuz there was something wrong with my I.E or something..can't click on the post & publish thingy. Well..had a good sleep yesterday...sorta...hehe..for the past few days...I'm sure u guys have not been reading my blog..so I'm back! Ngeheheheh! Today I'll be hanging out at Mitre again...but this time..with a different bunch...sammy,IK,Mint,Nuwul,Irma,Tweet,Mon,Hafiz & Syawal...so we're simply hangin' out there...sorta just spending the last moments before this bunch goes to school. I'm gonna be all alone again once they go in. madness! But I'll manage....well then..so much for this sudden new entry...so well...here I go..Peace!

Ok..Bye?

Whoa~~ Just read my guestbook..and *SMACK* that was a hard slap right in the face! And dude...thanks to u..whoever u are..u woke me up man! I mean..what u say..is true..I'm much of a loser...and Yeah..I'm one lost and confused dude...Totally man...can't decide on who I want..what I want...and stuff... man..Got nothing much to say on that..I mean..that was a real hard reality-check-slap-in-the-face. Well...okay..whoa...Okay..enough! Man..can't get that slap outta my head..but dude..thanks again man..u woke me up!

Well..besides that..I've been sittin' at home with nothin' to do... and guess what? I've been home for the past two days..GOD DAMN! I can't stay home! I gotta get out..I gotta go somewhere tomorrow! Seriously,nearly "died" of boredom just now! For two days..I'm home..with nuts to do...Fuck damn! Well..nothin' much have been happening...For Sabrina..not been talking to her or meeting up with her lately...I'm just making my self disappear for a while before I get myself together again and ready to face her again... I'm letting her be happy with Inn..and letting her forget me...or maybe she doesn't miss me at all...hahaha..whatever it is..i gotta life to go on with...And yeah..Move on..that's the word! FREEDOM!!! hahahahahh woo hoo!! yeah!! Maybe should slack with them one day...just for old time sake..hehe...madnesss! But most real..I'm fuckin' bored! That's what it is! BOREDOM! Got...to..get...out..of here...!

And to that dude who just sign into my guestbook...he typed in his name as _|_ ... So dude...message me back in my guestbook man..I wanna say thanks to ya!! u really slash me in the heart..but it got me in the head as well...u've knocked some sense into my head! REALITY CHECK!! HAHAHAHA..I'm back to the real world baby!...the happy me! YEAH!

CHEERS MATE!

“Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone,
who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces,
so you could be whole again...
it's just a matter of when that person will appear...”

What the fuck? It's like so early in the morning and I'm wide awake?! Oh,well..not really..WIDE awake...but awake. Couldn't sleep well yesterday night...I was tossing and turning on my bed. Maybe it was too hot or something. Woke up around 7 plus in the morning today. So I gave up on trying to sleep again and here I am... In front of my comp. Damn,I was hoping I have a better sleep cuz yesterday I went back a li'l late.

As usual,Saturday is No Direction's day... Automatically it should be acknowledged that Saturday is No Direction's day. It's a day when Bernard books out from camp and gets to spend his time outside. So we dropped by his place earlier yesterday and we jammed and believe it or not,I've forgotten some of my parts and that sucks. Tried out new stuff and tried adding in something new and it all sounded...well...better. Went to Plaza Singapura to catch a movie...Just the 8 of us...No Direction + Sofin,Mon,Fattah and Shain. Went to watch Ju'on and well...can say that the show's kinda freaky but seriously...it can make someone easily lost in the cinema. The movie jumps a lot as in..from one part to another then back to this part...so it's kinda complicated and the ending..seriously..sucks. Fattah and I were laughing and making jokes about the show while we were in the cinema...It was whacked! Laughing outloud till someone had to "hush" us down.

After the show sorta just chill out and being lost until Tweet and Mon decided to have dinner. So we head down to BK in Cineleisure. Sat there,had dinner,Fidah joined us...sat there again...and then moved outside to Long John's Silver's area...sat there..chat up..waited for Yan. After a while,we went to Mitre Hotel...hoping that it was open so that we could slack there but when we came..it was closed. So we ordered some drinks and sat down outside. After this and that...we went out..walked out...Sofin,Dzafir,D'omar and Yan took off first in the cab while Fattah,Shain,Bernard and I walked out to City Hall. We walked like from Youth Park area to City Hall.... And I was sleepy and I couldn't take it anymore so I told the guys,I'm takin' the cab. The three of them keep on walking... Flagged down the cab and head home.

So here I am... I'll be tonning at Dil's place today together with Sammy and IK... Just us,guys hangin' out. There'll be a gig today...wanted to go..but then...nah..I'll pass for some reason. Well,to those that went to the gig today... Hope u guys enjoyed it...(By the time u guys read this I'm sure that it's after the gig) So I'll be stayin' home and do...nuts here. That's all for now...

Cheers!

3:17am...and I'm still not asleep yet. Did nothin' much besides downloading more of Jackass episodes. They're bunch of sick fucks! Yesterday I did nothing much...Besides jamming...with First Chapter,I went slackin' at BK Century Square. Jammed the last time before Firdaus goes away to Australia for a family trip...WoW! A trip to Aus! I still can't get some thoughts our of my head...Why is it bothering me..this much?

Pluggy came along to our jamming yesterday...and well...after got that lecture from her and all I've realised that some things...I just got to let go. Not all good things stay...most of 'em...comes to an end. I got to let my feelings go for pluggy and just keep that good memories i had with her... Somethings,simply won't come back. *sigh*... But had fun with her though...when I hanged out with her,IK,Dil and Mint...It's been quite some time since I've hanged out with pluggy. I missed that,a lot! Talked crap with her,sang along to the music that's blasting from IK's small speakers...madness. That somehow,got my mind off things for a while but after I came back home...the thoughts came back. About what just happened..between me and her...It's just...sad...But hey...that's what she wants,I can't force her to decide on other decisions. Right? So yeah...there it goes...

I called Shammie up yesterday hoping that I could chat up with her and all...but my attempts...failed. Called about 4 times or 5...but her phone was...god knows what? so i gave up and kinda disappointed that I wasn't enable to chat up with her. I was very touched by Shammie when she approached me two days back in IRC and asked me...am I okay. That was really nice of her...I mean,after what i did and all...she actually approached me and asked me whether I'm okay. Where was I when she needed someone?...I suck! Like I've said before...Shammie's a nice girl and she deserves someone better than this lost and confused guy (me). That's enough of it,can't say more here.

Bernard called me up just now when he was in camp...he was telling me about his stories there..during his Rifle Ranging moments...hehe...Shooting and all..being the "bobo" shooter because the lights doesn't flash on the target...hehehe...Madness...

Should I go tomorrow? Or should I not? She needed someone to accompany her to town for a job interview and she asked me...why? I'd love to go so that i can see her but the question is...can I take it? can I take the fact that...argh...nevermind..just forget what I said...I know i can simply press on backspace and delete what I've just typed out...but I want this entry..as real as how I say out..or think of..so yeah..there u go.

It's gonna be early morning soon...and my body's aching and eyes getting heavier. So I'm going off now...farewell!

Once again,to the people in #emo...I love u guys! Thanks for cheering people up whenever they're down...and to Shammie...I really appreciate what u did...Thank you...

[ Mood :-: Shocked/Stunned/Sad ]

Just got the news...it hits me hard in the face. I've always wanted the answers slapping right me in the face...and well,it did. Real hard. It smacks ya really hard! It's like,ten knives stabbing onto ur heart and tons of bricks being dropped onto ur heart... WoW! Talked to her just now...thinking that it was like any other day. So...yeah..called her up..and talked to her..and she told me that she wanted to say something to me today. Thinking that it was good and all...but I felt it...I felt it comin' long ago and it's only that I'm too stubborn to see it. I don't blame her...it was a tough choice. I took it real hard and my faced was stained with that salty tears. I mean..it was fair. A fair "game" I guess. He was the better guy...I guess that's why she chose him and not me. But i guess..I'm okay with it.

Some of u reading this..might be saying..."U deserve this wan,I told ya long ago not to be in this shit..." Yeah yeah,Some of u guys reading this,might even be laughing...And I admit my stupidity...but i can't,my feelings got too strong for her. It simply...sucks...and I ain't blaming anyone else..but myself. i thought that something was going on between me and her...I felt that I was making progress and I believed that things are going to be okay... Whatever it is...

She with him now... They're together...and I'm glad cuz it cuts out the stress for her on who to decide on. And well,I wished them the best of luck and hope for them to be happy together. I'm sure they will,cuz they seem happy together..so okay..that's cool. *sigh* i guess that my love life just sucks ey? Well,I guess...for now,I would turn to being single...It's easier..it's care free and not much to think about.. but sometimes..loneliness..kicks in. So..I've conlcluded..whatever comes..it comes...whatever goes..goes away..whatever stays..stays.

All the hurtings...I guess..killed my feelings. I feel so numbed these days...and god knows why. *sigh*...so...fuck it ah...Life have to go on! So YEAH!! WOO HOO!!! FUCK IT!!

Cheers to everyone out there...and to those singles...I'm joining the club!! WOO HOO!! but then..can I be a part-time member? WoO hoo!! yeah!! WHATEVER! And to those couples! Best of luck in everything!! Best wishes! And have great dishes(huh?)!! PEACE OUT!!

It's a Wednesday morning and I ain't got much to do. I've not been keeping in touch with the band's site. Ah mad! Yesterday I hanged out with him and her and a three other friends of mine. I went out with her to Mustafa Centre to check out the Fred Perry that she wanted to buy. She want pink,but pink wasn't available. So we went to Tampines after that...Had a long ride with her in the bus...and that was great cuz that's like the longest moment in the bus after it was quite some time since I've last spent time with her like that. but soon that good ride was sorta cut short...cuz he came up the bus and well,I can't do much except to just sit and be stone about things. Went to Tamp,walked around with her for a while,sorta did a winow shopping. Went to Toys'R'Us and had fun there. hehe,Pretending we were knights and all. Slacked at BK Century Square,sat down,talked crap and all...Laughter and everything. i wanted to send her home so much...But I guess,he took that idea first. So he sent her home. There's always other days for me to send her home. *sigh* Life can be tough at times ay? Well,just have to live with that.

Today,I ain't got much of a plan,maybe I'll meet up with her or something or maybe I just go out alone? Or maybe I'll just stay home...It's been sometime since i've slacked with Dzafir...Maybe I'll ask him.

Till then,I'll bit u all farewell...

Okay bye?

WoW! Today I'm going out with that someone...And I'm glad...told her everything and well it sorta lifted things off my chest. And well,I gotta move on from the past. And wow,having a blog...Is like...when somebody reads it...and someone who doesn't read it can know..cuz hey,words do go around. Yesterday,after jammin' with First Chapter,I went slackin' with IK at Bedok Skate Park. And soon,Mint joined us,followed by Fan...and then...Tweet. We slacked till about 11 plus when Mint and Tweet left off and it's left with me and IK. Thaught him on how to play the card game called "Stressed" and I'm the one who gets trashed in the end...Hehehe.. it was madness...Ton with him till about 3 plus in the morning..or was it 4...well it was somewhere there... Slack around,lie down at the park there...talk crap..shout out stuff while everyone else was asleep in that area...and we play stress again..and we sing crap..hahaha..madness I'll tell ya!

Well then,i gotta go off folks...wish me luck in everything..I hope I'll get what I want...So..PEACE OUT!! I'm off to see her! WOO HOO!!!

Offheidesen! Und Guten Tag!!