WoW! Amazin' ain't it? My dad just lost my hard disk and now I have nothin'...No Pictures,no IRC...no Web! FUCK! I can't go on with the web...Guess it will be held up again. Got diarrhoea yesterday and god damn,wasted three fuckin' pants while I was sleepin'...I know it's disgusting but hey,it's reality! It's a fact,even if u guys might have diarrhoea...it might happen to u guys as well. And I was feelin' really fucked up yesterday. After jammin' hang out at BK with the boys and then suddenly I was feelin' so weak and my neck began to warm up and my head was heavy and I wasn't myself yesterday. It's like as if I've been "Zombified" or something...No energy to even raise my hand... But I'm feelin' a li'l better today.

The date with Nina tomorrow has been cancelled cuz of her project and I fully understand cuz I was once there when I was studying in SHATEC. I always had to cancel my plans with pluggy last time cuz of my projects so now,I fully understand. Nina,honey...if ur reading this,don't worry aight? I'm cool about it.

Wanted to meet her today but she have a project meet and just got a message from her that we're meeting on Monday. Pscyhe! Hehehe...YEAH!

Dilah and Nora's comin' down here at my void deck to chill... I don't know why the heck they're comin' down here,madness I tell ya! Heheh...

Oh fuck,looks like I have to take a shit again!

CHEERS -=FaRt=-

Looks like I ain't meetin' my sweet angel... She had to go to the airport to send her friend off but it's okay,I don't mind. Once again,I'm at home...being an "angel" myself,hehe. She called me up when she was in school and she was like tellin' me about sending her friend and stuff...She has a helmet but some thing about her friend using those full faced helmet normally used for Scramblers...It would look weird if a guy wearing that,riding a Scooter...hehe.. But anyways,I understand that we can't meet up for today,there's always other days right?

Tomorrow is Tuesday and it's jammin' day for First Chapter. Hopefully everyone can make it and it seems that Tweet found a guy to be our new vocalist. We'll be testing him out tomorrow. Hope he can make it... Damn,when I think about jammin',I have to think of a new beat to put into the song. Tomorrow is strictly the First Chapter kids cuz we really want to concentrate on our songs so no outsiders allowed...

Pluggy's been quiet lately,I wonder what happened to her...I just hope that she and Azri,are doing okay... They'll be jammin' this Wednesday,so i guess...that I'll be seeing her then.

My date with Nina didn't happened today but it's moved up to Thursday...So stay tune...(Whoa,it's like as if I'm in some kind of Real TV show or something,hehe) Sweet li'l angel...

Aight,that's it for now,I'm off!

CHEERS!

Today... I woke up to an angel's voice! She called me up to say that she might not be able to meet me today,cuz she's havin' her project meeting and it might end late..around 7 plus... She said that if she's not tired,she might come down over to my place and she said that I can play around with her bike if I want to. heheh. After talkin' to her,I only realize that I woke up around lunch time...WoW!

I finally got my blog done although I ain't happy about it...It still look yucky. But take a look at the deisgn to ur left,"Blindedheart Night Skies,Falling Stars",it looks like some kind of a book or something,written by a lame author named Hezwan. But what the heck,I like it though...

While I was on my blog,I thought..."Might as well re-vamp the whole No Direction site",So that's what I did...I re-vamped...I Don't know if the new layout is nice...I picked the theme colour as blue. WoW!..Blue folks! Well u guys can check it out and tell me what u think of the front page...I'm only done at the front page.

http://www34.brinkster.com/nodirection1

So go ahead..check it out,if u want to comment,post it back here on the tag or in the guestbook. Cuz I have not put in the guestbook on that page yet...

Cheers!

Phew! I did a li'l bit of minor changes in here... Almost screwed my whole page! Nina surprised me today! She was back! She told me it was tomorrow..but then she had to go back early..cuz it was last minute or something that she knew about a test happenin' in school tomorrow. I was happy to hear her voice! Dead happy! And she told me that she bought me something from KL...That's sweet of her! Well,I told her that I would be done doing my blog by 10 but then it got me pinned down till 11 plus..which is now... Hope she's still free to talk to me...

I didn't go out the whole day today..and it surprised many,cuz I ain't the type who stay home...U know what I mean,I'm like out almost 24/7. Well,I've not been home for the past two days..so gotta be a li'l "angel" for today...U know,just put up a mask,a small mini act on so called...stage...Pretending to be all good. By tomorrow,I'm back to my routine...Out of the house I go! heheh... Aight,Gonna wait for my sweet angel to call...

Cheers!

Yesterday,while on B's bed and he was fast asleep..and I mean,fast asleep. Guessed that he was tired... I couldn't sleep. Rain poured down,and it wasn't any rain,it was one of those thunderous rain. Thunder keeps sounding off and it sounded as if we're in war or something...That's when my mind start thinking back of everything...it was nice,lying there on the bed thinking away about the past... Rain always associate with my relationships.

Thinking back of the girls that I was with....And I realise..all of 'em,I have different things to say about. (This is getting kinda lame but what the heck,just wanna share my thoughts with u guys)

Ainun (First ex,three years relationship) - When I was with her,she was like...the best ever. She's smart,funny,creative,pretty and what's best at that time...My mom loves her a lot even til today,she keeps askin' me..."How's Ainun doing? i miss that girl..." And she keeps going on about me being stupid not to be with her and saying that she doesn't want to be friends with me because I"m like this...bla bla bla...See,my mom loves her a lot! And she's someone that I'll never forget...I mean,who would? After being three years with her and having fond memories of her... But my views of her changed since that call I made days back...She became more...like a snob. Maybe it was her "I'm-in-university-and-ur-not" status. Somehow,she disgusted me...Whatever happen to that old Ainun(I think I've said this before).Whatever it is,I just wish the best of luck to her and hopefully she finds that "RICH & HANDSOME" guy of hers...

p|uGGy (Friend to girlfriend to Best Friend,3 years of knowing her) - Now,pluggy...she's my favourite as u guys might know by now. She's mad,funny,crappy(like me) and loved by many. Three years ago,met her at the show in NUS when MSC played together with Plain Sunset and other bands...wasn't that close with her at first but as time goes by I began to grow liking her. And a year after that,we became couples...a mad couple I must say. She's different,she's fun,she's loud and she's cool. That's how I see her...She's that person u can turn to if u need someone to listen,she cares..a lot and I like that. After a few months with her,things didn't work out and we decided to be friends... I know that,many would say that once ur a couple and u break up,it's hard for u to be friends again and I'm proud to say that we somehow,prove those people,wrong(e.g. Ainun,who thinks that ex's...shouldn't talk to each other once they break up). And now,Pluggy became my best friend..a buddy who I can turn to or hang out with even if she's with her guy and i don't mind that. She was that person who gave me that confidence and believes in my band,she was there,for most of the shows that we played in. I treasure her,the most...cuz she was really someone special that was given to me by god in my life. I've lost her once,as my special someone...I never want to lose her,again...as a friend.

Shammie (Known her for almost a year now,went on two dates with her) - Shammie....a girl that sometimes can be weird,not in a bad way but a good way. Shammie can be mad too when it comes to that mood of hers and she is crappy at times but sometimes,she can have this li'l mood swings and that's when u don't wanna mess with her. We got closer when our relationship got a li'l stronger and she was there (callin' me on my handphone everytime to check up on me) when No Direction was constructing the studio at B's place...The whole period we took to make that studio,she called me,without fail,every single day to check up on me and to chat up. I'll never forget that...Overall,she's a nice girl but sometimes,she's a li'l bit paranoid but other than that,she's nice. We would have been together today but I blew that opportunity by saying that I still love pluggy... A mistake that I've made and totally brought her down. I was stupid to say that but it has pass,nothing i can do. She might have found someone new and me for one,sorta found someone. Now a days,we ain't close like how we were before...I'm busy with my stuff and she's busy with hers...so it's kinda hard. We only chat...sometimes on MSN. Even I went out with her for two dates,I'll always remember those two mad rainy days...

Sabrina (girl I met and dated mid this year) - Don't wanna talk about her...

Surya (A passer-by in my life whom i once loved) - Surya...hmm...she's another crappy fun kinda girl and she's creative in arts...Talented. Went out on a few movie dates with her and we sorta love each other. She's a sweet sweet girl with that don't-give-a-damn attitude...cool! We were getting somewhere in the relationship but in the end...we both decided,not to be with one another cuz of our "differences"...She's into hip hop and RnB while I'm into this emo,punk rock kinda scene...and she's singing that..I'm singing this..u guys know..that kinda thing...So in the end,we decided..to just be friends. We grew apart after that decision...didn't talk much to each other no more...She's in her world and I'm in mine...

There u have it...the history of what i think of the girls I dated (in the first place,why am I telling u guys this? Well...just felt like sharing) And as I said..rain..has it's place in every one of those relationship..especially to pluggy and Shammie...Whatever it is,everyone I listed...I'll treasure them in one way or another...Always,cuz they were once,a part of my life...

Currently...interested in this girl Nina but I'm takin' it slowly...Starting off as friends,first...See how it goes!

Cheers!

Hey ho peeps! Thanks for tagging in...It's kinda cool havin' this taggin' thing. U sorta,communicate and stuff... Just got back from home since yesterday afternoon... Stayed the night at B's place and then went out to town in the afternoon to see SS9 and Plan 2 Fool at Esplanade Park...Met up with few people there... SS9 boys,P2F kids...Inn,Hafiz,Fan,Nuwul and a few bunch other people. After the few bands played,we went down to Davis cuz B wanted to get some guitar strings,along the way,saw Wan(dil's bro). After Davis,met Fattah in City Hall then we set off to HMV...Did some CD searching and some sampling of the CDs...after HMV,went to Borders,did the same thing,CD sampling and all...After that,Simpang Bedok,had Milo Dinosaur and god damn,miss that Big 'ol Milo Dino...sat down,talk about stuff.chit chat..and then went back home... (U guys notice that I typed out in a crappy form...yes..crappy form..WoW!...) Whatever BIGguy! Hahahaha...

Nina called me in the early afternoon just now and I was fuckin' happy to hear her voice! She was leaving for KL to celebrate her friend's birthday or something... We talked for a while but I was distracted by the show me and B was watching (Sum Of All Fears)... And she was sorta busy with her packin' and stuff... so we cut it short. At least I get to hear her voice! That was nice... While I was in town,she called to tell me that she reached KL already and that was sweet of her! Talked to her a bit till she had to go. She'll be back on Monday...can't wait...I'm missing her already...

That's all i have for today...

Cheers!

Are u ready kids? (Ai yay capt'n) Argh....who lives in the pineapple under the sea? (SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!)...HAHAHAHAH.>yeah!! Awesome..Thanks to this link...got it from Tweet's blog,Thanks tweet! So guys..I now,not only have a tag board..but music as well! Ah huh!! Yes..not one folks..but two! (whatever that is) Aight,that's the only update..Outta here!

[ Music Blastin' : Biffy Clyro - Christopher's River ] [ Mood :-: Disorientated ]

Oh yeah...check it out...a hell of a big tag board! I finally got a god damn tag board! Awesome ey? hahahaha..like as if u guys don't have a tag board that I wanna go Hoo Ha about...Well,if u guys wanna leave messages...There's a tage board,feel free to say out...but if there's comments...hit the guestbook...Aight?

Off I Go!

Hey ho!! Guys..thanks for the feedback..I've changed the size of the font..like what u guys told me to do..And as for the pic..hope u guys can see better...The whole idea..was to make the pic..sorta like...u-can-see-what-is-it-but-can't-make-out-the-shape kinda style....So yeah...

Today I had a great day! Went out on a date with Nina! And it was great! She's a nice girl..a very nice girl...and she looks a bit like Christina Aguilerra a li'l...and some angle... Went to watch The Italian Job (yeah yeah,I know,that show's been running for quite some time and only now I wanna watch,but hey...at least I've watched!hehe) She's older than me,she's 21. Went to meet up with her in Tamp..and gotta say that I was a li'l bit nervous at first...I mean..it was my first time meeting her and after a while..time sorta break the ice. Soon after,I got comfy with her. we took the bus from Tamp..and the thing is,she wasn't used to the public transport..cuz she's been riding her bike for a long time... SHE RIDES!! A VESPA!! HOLY COW! A vespa..guys...a bike that I've always wanted..and SHE rides a vespa...darn...heheh...The funny thing was..she wanted to fetch me at first (I didn't know she rides) And I was like..."Oh..kay..that will be weird.." So I crack up a lame joke by saying.." I guess,if u were to fetch me,we'll be willie-ing all the way from Tamp to Lido?" Then we both started crackin' up...I mean..cuz of my weight at the back...heheh...lame ey? But overall..she's cute,nice,funny...and I like her...But I don't know ey...let's see how it goes..stay tune to find out more...

Aight guys,tomorrow...B's bookin' out so ND is on Stand-By mode to jam... Not sure about the actual time on when he actually book out... So standing by... Before that,heading out to Fir's place to do the design cover. Aight guys,I'll write in again..stay tuned...

Woopeedooooooo!!!

Hey ho peeps...Just wanna check out..if u guys reading this..tell me in my guestbook...do u see the pic? And my profile? Do leave ur feedbacks in my Guestbook aight? I might be adding in a tag board soon...

Awww man! This is madness...Woke up to B's call. He was from his Air Base and god damn,he kena "tekan" yesterday cuz one airhead lost 450 bucks! I mean,what kind of a moron,would bring in 450 bucks into the camp?! God! U won't spend things in camp right? after the morning blurness..here I am! in front of the comp,once again!

Yesterday hanged out with the bunch...Tweet,Firdaus,"Toyol",Inn & Fad. At the beginning,had some accoustic session with First Chapter minus Rafiee at Sunplaza Park area. "Toyol" came down to hang out with us...He's one crappy fuck..hehehe..Funny guy. After that went down to BK in Century Square..that's when Fad and Inn came down. And as soon as Fad and Inn came down,the three of 'em left...Tweet went of to fetch Mon from school,Fir went home and so did "toyol". "Toyol" real name is Faidzal...I don't know how the heck he got the nickname "Toyol"...Everybody seems to be calling him that since Secondary School.

Today I'll be going to town with Dzafir...Meeting him up at the Paya Lebar train station platform. He's going to town to check out games in far east. I don't know what he's looking for but what the heck...I'll tag along cuz I wanna see if "Calls Of Duty" is out...in pirated form. My dad wanted to get the original game...Cuz it's worth it. Aight,I gotta go to the loo,nature calls...BIg time nature call....

Cheers!

WooPeeDoooooOOooOo!! It's a friggin' Monday already. Just woke up,went straight to the comp. I'll be gettin' my new specs today! Amazin' ain't it? Hope it fits me. As in,the specs fits the shape of my face but what the heck,it's done. Anyways,two days back...I got my letter from the government(finally),saying that I'll be going in. Looks like I'll be joining my brothers in arms. Another words,boys in green! December 13th,the date that I'll be going off to a "resort" a li'l bit off the coast of Changi. Tekong Island....That's where I'm heading. 4 months in there before i can POP. Heh heh. That's the craziest shit I got home on Friday. Before that,I was talkin' to Inn about his medical check up and stuff and he was askin' things...and when I got home..my dad show me the letter...MADNESS!

Another mad thing I did was yesterday,I called my first ex...the one whom I was with for almost three years and then,never did keep in touch for another three years...Ainun...Nurainun Munira. I don't know what the fuck got into me to wanting to call her,I just picked up the phone,and dialed her number. At first she didn't know who I was and when I said who I was she was givin' me this I-Don't-Want-To-Talk-To-You tone. It started off in a bad note. She sorta hate me I guess cuz she kept saying..."I left you three years ago,why must u bother me now when I thought that I've already forgotten about u..." I must say that I was hurt though,my only soul purpose of calling her was just to say hi cuz all this years I've been wondering and wanting to call but just didn't have the guts to call her...She was suspicious of me cuz it's like so sudden I called her up so in her mind,she's thinking that I want her back or something. I assured her that I ain't gonna try askin' her back. After chattin' up with her,I soon realize that she had changed,big time. She's more proud..and a li'l bit ego now. She's lookin' for someone who's rich and handsome...now this part was the part that disgusted me... God,what ever happened to the old Ainun?

She's in her first year of University and wow..without realizing..she's in U! It's expected,she's always the smart one...and I know she would make it to U. Gotta say that I'm proud of her... After the whole Bad-Note-First-Okay-Later conversation,we put down but before that,I asked her,"So we're cool? I mean,can I call ya whenever I feel like chatting up with ya or something?" She simply replied,"Yes,u may,but once in every three months and SMS me before u call." Wow! She really wants to forget me huh? Well,it's done for...sometimes I feel,that calling her yesterday,was the biggest mistake...

So yeah,there's lots more to that "phone call" story. If u guys wanna know more,just call me up and we'll talk about it... It's easier and I'm lazy to type the whole story out. So,till then...

Cheers!

It's a Friday! Wow! Amzing isn't it? Time flies like skating on ice. Today is the girl's jammin' day...Rabia,Mon,PluGGy and Nadia. They'll be jammin' and the guys will be comin'... Me,Dil,Fan and may Sammy and Tweet. They need to work a li'l bit harder...but they have potential... Let's see how it goes.

It's so freakin' bored cuz there ain't much to do. Yesterday,I went out with my parents on the earlier part of the day. Accompanied my granny to the dentist cuz she wants to pull out one of the teeth cuz it's hurting... After that dentist thing,went home..fetch my mom...and then off we go. Head out to Sim Lim Square and my mom was naggin' about how much she hates that place...Hey,it's a guy's thing..Computers and stuff..so she was bored..I don't blame her. Went to Sim Lim to look for the original Calls Of Duty but the guy said that it'll be in October,somewhere in October. That game,is worth original...if u like Medal of Honour,Calls Of Duty is one heck of a game! Simply said,it's more intensed.. I'll get to see pluggy but u know what...my guess is that she's sorta drifting... I mean,she's spending time with Azri and stuff... So yeah,drifting I guess. Blargh..whatever it is...After Sim Lim,head down to Tampines to do my new specs...Yeah,got myselfa ray-ban..holy shit..RAY BAN! Fuckin' Ex! After all of that,met Dilah,Sammy,Inn and Fad and we're just a bunch of mad guys at the void deck talkin' shit,doin' some funny actions(This refers to Dil)...Yes..with the complimentry "Porn" music on Inn's phone..hahahah...It was overall,fun yesterday...

Here I am,sittin' at home in my black David Copperfield shirt and red "I Love You" Boxers...Typing out words that are meaningless...waiting for time to pass so I can go out and see the girls jam. B's comin' out tomorrow,hopefully in the day time..cuz if he books out by evening time,then we can forget about jammin'...Cuz Dzafir have course classes in the evenin... Damn! Gig's comin' up real soon...Can't wait to play upstage again... Okay,I'm outta words again,so the best choice is...saying off I go...

Cheers!

[ Music Blasting : Further Seems Forever - Tonight,This Three Hour Drive ] [ Mood :-: BaDoNg ]

Mornin' to all! Whichever time ur reading this... Anyways,had a mad time yesterday. Hanged out with the bunch...B,Tweet,Sallie,Mint and Pluggy..it was heck of a fun..after a while...tweet and sallie left..and we catched a movie late night...Yan came by to join us.. Plaza Singapura was where we caught Jeepers Creepers 2... And it was madness! Hehehe...Me and mint we were like laughing..although the show was a li'l bit jumpy but we were laughin' cuz of pluggy and B...Pluggy was literally covering her view with B's big bag..and bernard..hehehe..he was the funny one..He was wearing his hood and his cap and he put the hood over his head leaving a small space just for his eyes to see..heheh... As for yan,he was just sleepy..hehe.. Madness it was.

After the show we went back to B's place except for Yan,he went back. So we head out to B's place...continue with another movie..We watched Lord Of The Rings 2... Halfway watching it,Azri came back from Taiwan and boy..if I'm the girl..Heck I would be touched..Azri gave Pluggy a surprise by popping up at B's place...No wonder I saw pluggy cryin' when she was on the phone,I thought that something went wrong..but actually..it was tears of joy... Made me worried...for nothing..hehehe.. But seriously..Azri,if ur reading this..that was the sweetest thing a girl could ever get,a I'm-Back-Home-Surprise-Gift..CHEERS MATE! And thanks for the Taiwan Fags Azri (Fags a.k.a Ciggies)

Talkin' about Fags...taiwan fags taste so crappy! God damn! One stick of their Marlboro red..is like one stick of Marlboro Lights...But hey...Anything goes for me. Ngast,got back home around 8:30 in the morning just now... and I guess that I'll be stayin' home.

That's it for today,I'm outta here..till then...PEACE!

Whoa~~ Woken up by a god damn phone call and it was my brother askin' me to check for this guy's name card or something. Soon after that,here I am,typin' away my blog. Today's my check up and it's suppose to be at 10 and it's 9:10 right now...I ain't ready,mom's ain't ready and my dad still sleepin'. Past few days have been quite the normal days for me cuz I've been out. On Saturday,went out with the boys and guess what? I saw Shammie again! Two days in one week...heh. When u don't plan to meet,u'll meet up more ey? I ton at B's place with Lina on saturday after hangin' out in town and watchin' Soccer (I HAVE to watch being the reason that I was with B and Yan) at C.H.I.J.M.E.S and the place is nice..but fuckin' expensive. Hey,it's CHIJMES! But the tiger beer girl...was wow! SHORT PANTS SHORT PANTS! hahahahaha....

Damn,what should I do? I have nothin' in mind and I'm all blank. Damn it! Aight...see u around...

CHEERS!

*Yaaaaaaawwnn* Whoa~~ Sleepy as can be. Past few days..I sorta got out of the house,so yeah,that levels of my boredom sittin' at home for almost a week. God damn! When I'm at home,I'm like a fuckin' pig!

Typical Schedule of A Slob If He's At Home:

9am or 10 am : Wake up
10:15am : Wash up
10:30am : Either watch Tv or use the computer (chatting or game)
12:00pm : Nap Time
02:00pm : Wake up (again)
02:10pm : Tv
05:30pm : Still Tv
07:00pm : Play games on the computer
10:00pm : From games to chatting on IRC
02:00am : Hog on the phone or sleep

*Schedule not included of eating time or other times (e.g. toilet break,smoke break,munching moments,etc..etc...)

See what I mean...MY LIFE IS SO GOD DAMN BORING!!! Same shit,Different days! Fuckin' hell! But what i did yesterday,was somewhat,back to my normal outside life..kinda life...Whatever that means. I went out yesterday after B finally get to book out...Followed him home,pack our gears and stuff and then went off to arab street to jam. It was the old location of Jamm Rehearsal Studios but now it's taken over by Retro Cafe..or something like that. And the place is well...nice and comfy..u will feel at home when ur there. But,it can be quite expensive...$30 for 2 hours of jamming. The sound was okay..except that when the crash on the drums being hit..there's like this painful sort of an echo sound piercing ur ears...*ouch* but overall..it gives a nice sound.

Walked around town and well..enjoyed the time with the boys though...Not much fun or things happening...but it sure ain't boring like staying at home.

NEWS FLASH ON HEZWAN'S EYES:

Well,update on my eye..it's getting better and recovering...cuttin' down on the drops...But it's waaaaay better than before. It ain't that red no more...and the vision..well..still a li'l bit blurry but gettin' better.Next appointment:- Monday @ SGH 10am (Why the heck u guys need to know this for?I don't know,I'm just typing out god damn it!)

Okay then,need to rest me eyes...Ah damn,gotta put the cream on the under part of my eye. Aight? Peace out folks!

CHEERS!

Hey the ho ah..eh let's go ah! Hahahah,madness,today I felt like I do not want to get out of the bed..cuz the weather was friggin' awesome! It rained in the morning! Woo hoo yoo!! okay...what the HELL was that? i don't know and i don't care. Anyways,yesterday went to meet Fir and Fidah in town...Supposedly to check out some spots to take pictures for the band andd stuff but we ain't got the camera. So in the end,we walked to Lucky Plaza to eat..BUT the stall that Fir wanted to eat was closed so we fucked the idea of Luzky Plaza and head down to Far East Plaza. Over there,we went to eat at Mumtaz Mahal Restaurant or something like that..well..we didn't eat there exactly..we bought this food..something like a prata and I forgot the name..and it's fuckin' cheap! It's sorta an underground,u have to order from the back and it's like $1.50 for one..and it's like big for a small size person..it's really big. And the curry taste oh so fuckin' awesome! After that we decided to hang out at Far East McDonald's where all the "Yo-Yo" and Mats And minahs hang out. Felt so outta place when we were sittin' there. We waited for Inn to come by,while waiting..we saw Shammie and IK... I was like friggin' happy to see Shammie again! Cuz it's been quite a while since I last saw her. Well,we chatted for a while..and shammie was saying about my phone and then she said that her phone doesn't reflect her and stuff..hehe..and then what about me? My phone is small and I'm big! Contradicting ah eh..heheh...After the chat they went off with their friends..

We decided to hang out at Starbucks near Borders. Hanged out there till late,met Hidir while I was in Borders with Inn..and then hanged out..bla bla bla..chatted..bla bla bla...Hidir bought Mogwai..bla bla bla...okay..I have no more idea to type out..so yeah..this is it. Today,I'll be goin' out with the boys to jammin' in Novena I think...checkin' out this new studio.
Allrighty then,take care folks!

Cheers!

God DAMN IT! I'm so fuckin' bored...Now I feel the withdrawal sorta kickin' in. It's like,I NEED TO GO OUT!! Cuz why u ask? God damn it,it's obvious,I'm an outside person...and I'm not use to being at home.There's nothin' much to do here! Well,right now,it's just me and mom and soon she'll be going out and I'll be all alone,how fun can that be? I guess for that one week of stayin' at home,my mom is feeling all cool and stuff..I guess the reason....me staying at home.. okay,where I'm gettin at here...

BORED!!!

Okay,another thing,I feel that somehow it's either p|uGGy's saving up on her handphone bills or she's avoiding me...i don't know and I can't say. Been callin' her since this mornin but her phone's like dead...Battery's down? Nah..can't be...Maybe she just don't wanna be disturb or something,god knows what. But i hope she ain't avoiding me or something.

Tomorrow's the jammin' session for First Chapter...oh wow...amazing..Now it's like,we do not have a vocalist and we're like trying out people on singing and screaming...GOD DAMN IT! okay then,I'm off to no where now..take care...peace out!

CHEERS!

Hey ho all! U guys must be wondering why i've not been updating my blog..cuz u wanna know why...I also don't know why...Buahahaha...maybe..the reason being..that...I'm lazy!

Most real,news update...I stayed home the whole god damn one week! COOL EH?!?! Well..being the reason that my eye was infected last week due to my lens..contact lens..and that sucks..The doc says that my eye got some bacteria inside..dude to the dirty lens and stuff.. She said that i might have gone blind if I hadn't come to check earlier..if not..I would have to get a dead person's cornea to do some transplant to my eye... WoW! The doc gave me some drops to put on..and well..it's workin'..been a week..and been to and fro the hospital..SGH...and well..the doctor says that I'm doin' good with the drops..carry on..and she says that I'm recovering..but one thing...my eye will have that mark..sort of a scar...well..it's hardly visible through human eyes..unless u use some scope to see upclose and personal...So I hope it will get better soon so that I can get back to my daily life...going out..and hangin out...late nights..and stuff..WOO HOO!!

Tomorrow i'm jammin' with First Chapter..and yes..I'm on the drums again,woo hoo! i miss drumming away hopeless beats and crappy rolls...I suck on drums..but manageable...Allrighty then,I'm off...

PEACE OUT!

Hey ho everyone,today's a friggin' Sunday and I'm bored. Got home in the afternoon just now,around 12 plus. Stayed the night at B's place yesterday with pluggy and boy was it great... The feeling's awesome watchin' DVD just like old times. It was kinda fun yesterday,jammed at Wake Me Up Music and after that hanged out with Shain and Lutfi at the store for a while. And then we set off to mitre hotel and I had to follow cuz B was goin' so yeah. And the thing that I'm proud of...I didn't drink! Didn't even touch it,drank pepsi twist. Around 11 plus we set off to plaza Singapura,supposedly to meet up with Joyce but she went to the movies with dell. The three of us...Me,Pluggy and B got tired of waitin' so we set off home. bla bla bla...

Watched Mr.Deeds as our DVD selection and soon after that,I turn my head and everyone was asleep and I was the lone survivor. AMAZING CHAMP!I got home around 12 plus this morning...and as soon as I reached home,I slept like a baby. Hehehe..awesome!

Okay,Tell u guys the truth..I'm lazy to type in the rest...So yeah,fuck it..I'm done with this..type in some othe time.

Cheers!

God damn it! After typin' so god damn long,the god damn site have to have an error..amazin'! So considering,this is my second time typin' out this shit. In the mornin',I woke up at like about what..7:30? Yeah,somewhere there,called Surya up to check up on her before she goes to school,well she was feelin' a li'l bit better than yesterday but one thing's for sure,she sure does sound sick,bad cough,runny nose and stuff..oh boy,bad sounds of gettin' sick. Hopefully she's okay. About me and Surya,well...I don't really know what our status is,but I sure do know that we're seein' each other...U can say,it's datin'. After she put down the phone with me to get to school,I turned on both my TV and Computer and while waitin' for the god damn computer to start up,I watched Mtv and New Found Glory was on..."My Friend's Over You" video..and right after that,it was that Good Charlotte "Girls And Boys" And fuckin' hell,I god damn hate Good Charlotte. I mean..the video's lame,totally lame. And I still wonder,why many like them?

Saw the Bowling For Soup video "Punkrock 101" which is like,god damn funny! The video is about a bunch of kids headin' down to Punk Rock Boot Camp and over there,they were like teachin' the kids on how to dress up as punk rockers,and how to bounce with the guitars (by holdin' a guitar like ur playin' it and bouncin' on the trempolin)...It's fuckin' funny! I guess most of the Pop Punk videos are funny ey? Happy bunch of kids in a band...Ngast!

Later on,I'll be headin' down to padang to attend that L2R3 meetin'...somethin' about the slots or something. Maybe before that,I might be headin' out with the boys to somewhere,i don't know,I'm still waitin' for their call. Ngast of the madness.

One more thing,just now,I was watchin' the new Stacy Orrico video...and what Sofyn said was true...God damn,Stacy does look like Sabrina a bit...Just a bit..but hell,why do I care...I like stacy not sabrina...well..no longer like sabrina. Wait,dilah would say.."Wait,who's that..who's sabrina? U remember who's sabrina" That's a signal for me to forget who is sabrina..It's just a name with no face on it anymore. Yeah,WHO IS sabrina anyways.

Allrighty folks,I'm outta here...and Avril is singin' "I'm With You~~~~" Right now on Mtv...Dzafir's favourite,Avril Lavigne...Whatever it is..I'm outta here.

Before i go,check out this link...http://www.maniclab.com/scensters_ep1.html <-- It's fuckin' funny!

Cheers!

Good morning peeps! There's nothin' much to say today. Yesterday I went out with Surya and her friends,Just hang out and when night comes we went to the Library @ Orchard. The one in Takashimaya. And while her friend went to search for a book for her projects Surya took some books...and one of them was called.."Love Poems And Literature" So she flip through the book and as she read some of the poems and one of them,made me cried. Come across this really good poem by Pablo Neruda which I wish I was the one writin' it out to someone that I loved...and it really hit me,the poem totally hit my story. I'm goin' to cut and paste it here...

Tonight,I Can Write The Saddest Line by Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

[ Music Blastin' : Big Bad Voo Doo Daddy - King Of Swing ] [ Mood :-: Swingy ]

Hey ho everybody,what the dealee'o? It's friggin' 11 in the morning,I woke up that late huh?! Never did I ever wake up at this hour. Except when I'm tired that is. I've not been updatin' my blog,too lazy I guess...Many things had happened...Let me try to update u guys with my life.

U know,Bernard and Yan Passed Out from BMTC right? Well,they got their postings and well...Bernard got Regimental Police and Yan was posted as Combat Medic. I don't know how they're doin' in there but B did call me up on his first day...He was like tellin' me how sucky it was,it's like,the new RPs that went in like kena tekan rabaks rabaks in there and he was like sayin'..."Although it's only one day,I'm startin' to miss u guys". Well,brothers are brothers,I do miss that Dude. Well,at least they've got their god damn postings,how bout me? Not even a friggin' letter to tell me where I go,Army,CD or Police. I'm left hangin'. It's like they've forgotten about me. GOD DAMN IT!

I went out with Surya yesterday,she followed me to First Chapter's Jammin' session at BMC. Well,we were tryin' out a new vocalist...It's this guy name Atah (If that's the spellin' of his name)...He's from 20 Dischanger if I'm not mistaken...He can sing but he can't scream like how Zaid does. So the guys discussed some things and concluded,that we want Zaid back. Tweet will try to get him back into the band and I hope that he wants it cuz I agree with the boys that Zaid,is the best vocalist we have. He can sing as well as scream...Finch material!..Let's just hope.

After the jammin' I went to eat at Bedok's hawker centre with Surya and soon after that we head out to Tamp to catch a movie. Watched this Mandy Moore show,"How To Deal"... It's a good show I gotta say,for those Romantic,Sensitive & very into love,I recommend ya that show! It's a simple show,the whole story,is mainly on Love. How funny love is,how funny love can make someone cast into sort of a spell,it's how love can make people argue and make big fights with one another but yet,in the end...they make up and everything's okay again. It's weird huh? Talkin' about love,when I was with Surya...there was this tingly feelin' that runs through my body...I don't know,Crush? Like? Crash Course to love? I don't know..in the cinema,we cuddled up and she was like huggin' me. So guys,stay in tune for more updates on what's to happen. After the movies,hanged out with her for a while,got a li'l bit emotional and she sorta have tears runnin' down her cheeks. After talkin' out things I sent her home..we hugged and I kissed her forehead...and then we said our goodbyes. So yeah,what's to happen? STAY TUNE IN BLINDEDHEART TO SEE WHAT'S TO HAPPEN IN HEZWAN'S LIFE.

So yeah,today' another day,a borin' day...Next week,is No Direction's show! WOO HOO!! And we got one week left to session. Allrighty folks,that's the end....

Cheers!

[ Music Blasting : Catch 22 - 9mm And A Three Piece Suit ] [ Mood :-: A-OKAY ]

The time now is comin' to 9:30 and it's friggin' rainin'. Nothin' like wakin' up in the mornin' to rain. It's an awesome feelin' and I wish that I could sleep again but then,I can't...I don't know why. The moment I woke up just now,I showered...Now,that adds on to the coolness of the morning! Heh heh!

Yesterday was another session of recording...All in all,we had a four days straight recording session startin' last Sunday... Hopefully we can finish the recording by today cuz we've only got one song left to do. Can't wait for it to get mixed and mastered and finally...the last step of the album...Launchin' it. Today will be another jammin' session for No Direction and i wonder how it'll go...cuz we're jammin' at I.J Studios...and I kinda hate that place cuz of the systems. But whatever it is,the session must go on cuz we're havin' shows comin' up.

I might be havin' a job in September...that's just a big..MIGHT.. As a sound crew for this production. So yeah,it's an open job opportunity for both me and Surya cuz we're both in this. Yan was the one that got us this so...I don't know,let's just see where this goes. About the guitar that I wanted to get at Swee Lee...the party I said about me psychoing my dad to buy me that guitar...FAILED. He told me that now is not the time to get it,so yeah...I have to listen to his decision right? I mean,I can't go around whinin' like how I did when I was younger whenever I wanted something. Ngast!

I guess that,it'll be all for this mornin',I might be writin' in again later...

Peace Be Upon U

Hey ho everybody! It's been like two days since my birthday...and it feels like any other day. Being twenty makes no fuckin' difference. A lot of people ask me,"So how do u feel being 20?" It's just a raise in the number of ur age,nothin' changed. Oh yeah,forgot to type in that I got the weirdest gift in my life on Sunday. A tangga underwear...I looks a bit like a thong and it looks like a normal brief,all mixed into one. I mean,I don't wear those kinda stuff cuz I'm more of the boxers kinda guy but I'll keep that anyways,just to remember that I have the weirdest gift. Sorta celebrated my birthday on Sunday at Bernard's place though with No Direction,Fidah,D'omar,Sofyn... It was nothin' big,really didn't want any celebration but the guys insist. Heheh.. Madness it was.

Today's a freakin' Wednesday,and there'll be recordin' again. We've been recordin' since last Sunday. Can't waste the opportunity since the guys are back here for one week before both of them get their postings in the army, so yeah...we're recordin'. Currently,I'm like alone in the house cuz everybody left to somewhere which I don't know where. And I can't leave the friggin' house till they fuckin' come home,DAMN IT!

Aight guys,it's time for me to go off...I'll type in again...PEACE!

CHEERS!

OFFHEIDESEN!

[ Music Blasting : Some stupid military song being played on the TV ] [ Mood :-: Zombified ]

Wow! It's Augst 9th...National Day..and I don't fuckin' care. I mean,it's just another Saturday...The parade's goin' on TV right now but it's like....just another TV show... I sorta just got back at around 6 plus to 7 just now,stayed at B's place yesterday,hanged out with Dilah at his place. Yesterday,went to Swee Lee Music Shop at Aljunied and one guitar caught my attention!

Plannin' to get it,but how? Hmm...Psycho my dad...Chances: 80/20...so yeah..80% winning chance that I can talk to my dad into buying that guitar. Soon after hangin' out at Swee Lee with B and Yan,we set out to S-11 in City Hall. Met up with quite a number of people and hang out and stuff...Surya came down to meet me so yeah,had a fun time. And to everyone that treated me yesterday,thanks! Especially B and Yan..thanks for the awesome food at Simpang!

Had a DVD marathon at B's place...cuz he just bought the Band Of Brothers collection. It's awesome,it comes in this metal box and the design is nice. So we sat down there,watch all 10 parts,each lasting one hour. Slept at around 7 and we continued watching the next few parts when we woke up around 1...That explains why i came back home late. Okay,I'm draggin' this fuckin' boring blog way too long,so I'm cutting it short.

My life have been boring,so don't expect much of interesting news about me anymore,unlike that last time,so many to write about. Allrighty,I'll write in again........one day when i'm free again...

Happy Birthday Singapore!!! (and Happy Advance Birthday Hezwan,turning 20 tomorrow ey? ENJOY!)

Cheers!

[ Music Blastin' : Biffy Clyro - 57 ] [ Mood :-: Amazingly Lost ]

God knows why i'm lost..sheesh. Here I am in front of the comp with my cat...Ash...sitting on my lap. Cool ey? He's one cute bugger! Anyways,I had the wierdest dream yesterday. God knows what was that all about?

The dream,I'm still trying to figure out...what the FUCK was that. I was at my family's gathering and then it was night time,I stayed over at my cousin's place..I was heading down to the kitchen and suddenly..there's this Bangla appear...with a face powdered with flour or something and then that Bangla dude started saying about wanting to kiss me or somerhing and in my mind I was like "What the fuck?!" So i carry on with my business of going to the fridge to get something and there he was with a knife...He grabs me and was trying to kiss me (Once again...WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!) and then he slashed my stomache and I was heard..Tried to fight him but I guess I was in shock or something my cousin came with a batter and beats the shit out of that bangla...The bangla died. While this part happens my dreams changed scene to me walkin' around a mall with my band mates (What the fucK?! First thing I was about to be murdered and next thing,shopping?) Walking around with nothin' in the mind suddenly one of my friends saw my stomach,there was a hole or something...a small hole size of out 50 cents coin. U can see my felsh and a li'l bit of blood oozing out. Once again,WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! And suddenly after that,I walked away from my friends and went to side of the building where there was this Gondola and there was this nice young lady...I mean..what's up with all of this? Glich in the matrix? Hahahaha.... And when I was going up of that Gondola...That's when my dream ended..i mean..How weird was that?

Enough of the dreams...right now,I'm so fuckin' stoned and seriously I don't know what I would be doin' later. I'm that sort of the last minute spontanious shit kinda guy. So I should just sit at home till any of my friends calls me up to go out. For now,I'm in front of the comp...YEAH! Once i'm here,I'll always be here. All right then,today's blog consist of my stupid dreams..what's next?

Cheers!

It's reachin' to fuckin' 1 am. nothin' much happened yesterday (Sunday) being the reason that i was at Bernard's place from the day before (Saturday). Went out on that Saturday to jammin' and god damn! The studio we got,was like a fuckin' Sauna! Cuz the fuckin' Air-Condition don't fuckin' work on that day,of all the days,it has to break down,on that fuckin' day...Madness I tell ya!

So there we were,jammin' away and sweating like as if we were playin' in a gig (e.g. Novena's 4 Word Studios). It was like,fuckin' heated up and u practically see,our fuckin' sweats rollin' down our faces and we had to take off our clothes...By one layer that is. After that jammin' session,it was like...we just had a shower with our clothes on or something cuz u can fuckin' twist our shirts and see sweat tricklin' off the shirt.

No Direction,Dilah,Mon & Sofyn...that was the first group we had when we're at the studio. Set off to Substation Garden's S-11 on the bus No.7. Along the way,we saw quite a number of people comin' up the bus wearin' red...and well,u've guessed it,it's a Saturday..and Saturdays...they have the NDP Review. So,being patriotic,those people wore red. In the bus,we had photography sessions,"talk-crap" sessions and starin' into the open space sessions...

Arrivin' at S-11 we met Shain,Endra's GF,D'Omar,Fidah,Farizwan,Hidir,Yam,Yan and Allison. We hanged out on the same table and talk our thoughts away. Although we're sittin' on the same table,groups were formed...Hehe. There's the Lost Group,The Metalhead Guys,Serious Discussion Group and the Normal Group. (What the heck??)

After an hour passed...We brought out the cake (Who's it for u asked?) for Bernard. It was his birthday on Friday and we thought that it would be something if all of us were there to celebrate his birthday. It was a simple cake and it was quite big enough for everyone in the group. As usual,the picture takin' the blowing of the candle..yada yada yada...and it's done. The gift was taken out,a picture frame with a picture of No Direction in it with our Signatures on the photo and words written on the frame,"No Direction,2003". He was happy about it although he doesn't show it but I know he is.

Watched a late night show..bla bla bla...Watch that "Wrong Turn" show...and it was kinda..well..O-kay kinda show. It's about deformity and stuff and murder and teenagers and gore scenes..u know..the usual teenagers horror,murder scary movie kinda plot. It was okay. After that show,Dilah made a joke sayin' that,if there's a part 2 to this show,what would the title be? He came up with titles like..."Another Wrong Turn/Definitely A Wrong Turn/Why Did I Take This Turn?/Shouldn't Have Turned". We started crackin' up when he said those titles,it was madness!

After the movies,took the cab to B's place. On the way there,we saw "2 Fast 2 Furious" live in Singapore. We were at the traffic light,when the red light turns green,they sped off and I was like..."Whoa~~~" At first,I thought that there were only the two of them,a few seconds later,6 or 8 cars passed by us,all of 'em speeding away on the corners. If they keep this up,one day,one of them might meet up with an accident.

The rest of the morning,hanged out at B's place and talked crap till all of us knocked out to bed.

From 6 plus on Saturday to 8 plus on Sunday...only then,I got home... Insane in the membraine!

Allright,enough of those crap...I'm outta here!

PEACE!

[ Music Blasting: Muse - Plug In Baby ] [ Mood :-: Sleepy ]

Wow! It's already a fuckin' Friday! Amazing ey? And most real,one week of not havin' my brother at home is fuckin' awesome! I rule the fuckin' room when he's not around. And damn I don't know what's with the plan for today. I ain't got much things left to do. Right now,still groggy...I'm sittin' in front of the comp with no clue on what I should do later. See,that's what happened when u slacked to much,u'll run out of idea on what to do.

Hmm...maybe i should go have breakfast but there ain't much to eat. Damn! Maybe i should get down to get some hawker food...hmm... I don't know...

[ Music Blasting: Penfold - I'll take you everywhere ]

I'm suppose to meet up with Dil to pass him the shirt that he needs but I'm feelin' kinda heavy to go around. But he needs the shirt...damn I'm feelin' bad right now. It wouldn't be a problem if he ain't workin' later but the thing is...he's workin'. So yeah,kinda hard.

I'm out of ideas on what should I type out...so..yeah..I'm so totally lost..so yeah..again..I'm outta here!

Offheidesen!

And most real..i've just read my blog..and fuck..i have a lot of typos!! amazing isn't it? i'm simply lazy to re-type everything..so guys..if ur read my past blog...u guys figure out the words..aight?

Sweating...hot..feelin' lonely...Suddenly i miss a lot of people...And most real..suddenly i missed my ex...Ainun...i mean..what the fuck..after two years..comin' to three years of not contacting her..suddenly i miss her? Why? Maybe being the reason i talked to my grandma yesterday abou ther....Well,me and my granny in my room..at night..we talked about things..how the estate change..about how the people here moved out..and new neighbours and stuff..and we talked about my cats..come to think of it..I roughly calculated..i think we have taken care of about almost 100 cats...as time goes by...right now..we're havin' like 15 cats at home. 15 CATS!! at home?! but still did'nt beat the last record which was 18 cats...and we talked about all the different favourite cats and stuff..and there was one time wwhereby Ainun took this cat home to my home because it wa a small kitten and it was raining and the poor li'l kitten was shivering with cold and the kitten's fur was wet and stuff..so Ainun was pitying that cat...I took it home..and took care of it till it's okay. Ainun..the girl whom I've been with for almost three eyars...comes to waste..no three years past since I broke up with her...last seen her..or last..hear her... Wonering how she's like,sometimes i feel like callin' her up..ask her how she's doin or maybe ask her out to catch out with old times. But then again,I don't have the courage to do that...So yeah..I shall just let it be and left alone..wondering...

Here i am..sittin' down on the floor while I'm typing out my blog and wondering what's going on with things surrounding me this days....Friends havin' problems here and there..and friends who's left lost and wondering...that's kinda madness..As for me..I guess that I really have to move on from now on..i really can't stick around and wonder what happens next and stuff...cuz for real...she loves that someone a lot and that someone loves her a lot. I've learn that i shouldn't type out SMS messages any o how... I should be happy for them...cuz they're realyl happy for one another..so i guess..I gotta take my passport..and leave this place called.."My Past".

Talkin' about movin' on...About the girl named Sabrina..my mind is already off from her..cuz after learning new things about her,the new shit she does..the way she plays the "game" I don't really like her anymore. True colours exposed after what has been done. Argued with her the other time because I started it (being the firestarter). saying her stuff and all but somehow Pluggy got involved in it and i was kinda pissed off cuz lpuggy now..is a best friend of mine and like my own sis..how come her names appear in the sms that Sabrina sent..i asked Pluggy if that statement was true...Pluggy did not say whatever Sabrina types out in the SMS message..i know Pluggy wouldn't say that..so most real..pluggy asked for Sab's number..and instantly gives her a call. God knows what happens during that phone call..and stuff...I wanted to take my trumpet back but Sabrina..LYING her way by saying that she's busy..cuz she's workin..and yeah..workin'..like as if..when I heard the news that when i sent the message to Inn sayin' that Sab's workin'..inn ask Sab where was she at that moment..she was out with her friends a Bugis hangin' out..so what does that conclude..that she's..a two headed 'snake"? Double faced sly girl....that's what she is...

Yesterday..Inn got my trumpet back..or was it two days back..he got the trumpet back for me..and most real..Inn's enjoying my trumpet now..i guess..hehe...It's madness..

As for today..i ain't got fuckin' much things to do and I'm fuckin' bored which most probably i'll be hangin' out with Malik again. I wanted to go to far East to get another Mesh cap..of different colours. It's only 5 bucks..it's fuckin' 5 BUCKS!! It's cheap and besidees..it looks nice.. Gotta get some buttons too to put on my cap. Currently I have a blue trucker's cap (mesh cap,only with a different name)

Allrighty then,I'm outta here...oh wait...last thing in mind...I'll be sessioning a ska band..for one gig...playing the trumpet..THE TRUMPET! holy shit..just as I was about to stop playin' the trumpet..they have to call me back in to session for them...Damn it!...anyways..CHEERS!

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

Holy crap,my body's aching and I don't know why. Right now I'm in front of the comp since the time I woke up..which was like..what? 8 plus in the morning. What's up with me wakin' u pearly in the mornings man? I mean,it's like,I should be sleepin' but no...I'm awake. Maybe my body clock wants to get ready for NS or something...which is like..WAAAAAAY long way to go. Yesterday's gig was fuckin' awesome! It was amazing and the crowd is waaaaay much better than last year maybe being the reason it's not raining and it's not during Hari Raya and maybe it's because this is the second Baybeats that happened. Elisebelle Tears was fuckin' awesome! Their music,their sound and vocals was good. Comin' from Malaysia,they are one good band.

While I was standing in front with my friends my slippers got detached due to the kids moshing and steppin' on my slippers. So I was bare footed,without my slippers and standing on the wet grass ground. WOW! Remind me,never to wear slippers to gig if I wanna stand in front. No,make that,never to wear slippers to go to a gig which is on a grass patch,a wet grass patch that is. Met a lot of people yesterday and I was like goin' everywhere to shake my friends' hands. Losing Streak guys were there,Incoincidence was there,Plan 2 Fool was there...any many others...

After the gig,went out with B and Shain to Plaza Singapura to catch a late night movie.Bernard bought the tickets earlier on so yeah,we got a secured place. Went to watch this movie by Rob Zombie and I've forgotten the title. It's a sick show,a fuckin' gross and sick and sadistic kinda show. It's about torture...a li'l bit of bondage action there and this and that...bla bla bla. So for those of u who loves gore and those who are sadistic...yeah..watch this show..i recommend ya!

Yesterday was a great day,cuz u know why? I get to spend the whole day with pluggy and that was great. While in the bus heading down to town,sittin' beside her and listening to the same music...and suddenly there was this slow song playing..it was by Simple Plan...it's nice..and slow..and the lyrics was..well..sorta something for me and her...It was as if the song was from me to her. Then suddenly a sudden flashback hits my head thinking back of everything..the things I did with her,the times I had with her and somehow it made me smile and at the same time..it made me sad. But the main thing is,I get to spend time with her and that was fantastic! I hope she's going to Baybeats again today so that i can see her. well guys,just had to let that out!

BIGguy...signing off!

[ Music Blasting: Lifehouse - Everything ] [ Mood :-: Dodgy ]

Morning to all! Amazingly,I woke up at 6 plus in the morning today after hearing the commotions in my home of my brother going off to camp. He'll be away for about two weeks and boy,am I happy. I'm fuckin' glad that he won't be home cuz I really hate him sooo fuckin' much. It's only me and my grandma at home right now and it's fuckin' boring. Slept at 3 plus yesterday and here I am now. Got nothing to do so I surf around people's journals. And it's like,stress fills up people's busy days and sadness in some. I'm not alone...

I didn't know that I could put up more stress in someone's life and I'm really sorry. Didn't mean to put up that behaviour the day I chattered with her. I'm beginning to miss those people that I normally slack with,those who started schooling and getting busy with their school lives. I'm accepting the fact that people do change and I for one is changing without me realising it. But whatever it is,they still keeps the same name and it's still them, only that they change a li'l bit with their style and all and hey...people grow up and tend to change. Sometimes,when people are down,I try to be there for them but sometimes it simply doesn't work no matter how much I tried. Feeling helpless and hopeless when I fail to cheer a person up...that sucks. And sometimes when u try to make things better,it would end up all wrong. I guess that this is all parts and parcel of life,the challenge...the test of life given to us by god to see how we handle our situations and problems,how we take it and how we solve those problems. Some would take it the hard way and some would take the easy way out either by not caring about it (only to lead to more problems) or simply..some do it the coward's way (e.g. Suicide) Which I feel is so wrong. Running away from problems won't do any good but in fact stress u up to more problems.

[ Music Blasting: March Twelve - Brainwashed ]

Whatever I just typed out just now was not pointing to anyone but simply to say out my views. And trust...yes the good old glorious trust. When u earn it,that's good but when u lose that trust u have on someone or that someone losing trust from u...that's bad. Cuz once a trust is broken it's really difficult to earn it back...and yeah..I've learnt that the hard way.

[ Music Blasting: My Squared Circle - Ana ]

Listening to MSC...they'll be playin' this Sunday on Baybeats 2003 and lucky them they'll be sharing the stage with The Gloria Record... That would be awesome but I get to share the stage with Brandtson and that's good enough. And hey,guess what...Pigjelly...oops..I mean..Pugjelly's doing the opening for Sum41 on 30th July at Fort Canning... Amazing ey...maybe..just maybe..the reason being..they are WHITE. So yeah,they get oh-so-popular because they're white. A Singapore BASED Australian band getting known here. They're okay and the music they play,is typical pop punk crap and I feel that MSC can kick their asses big time! And their behaviour,especially the drummer...Adam or whatever his name is...have this fucked up character and that fucked up face which has I'm-the-best-in-the-world look written all over it. Except for Mashashi,the guitarist from Gobachev who's playin' for them now,he's the nice guy and friendly..unlike the rest of Pugjelly.

To anyone out there who felt that they've been USED and CONFUSED by someone...I'm really sorry for what had happened and all I can say is...take it easy cuz there's always someone better out there and most real...don't be sad or shed tears for that person cuz whatever it is...she ain't worth it. I know,cuz I've been there.

Till then...

Live life to the fullest cuz u'll never know just when u might go back "home"...

Lyrics

Kiss Me,Diss Me by Homegrown

I don't want to sit next to you.
I can't believe you called me so soon.
Don't try to justify what you did to me.

You're just one of those troubled girls.
Using me for everything but love.
Don't make excuses for what you did to me.

You kissed me then dissed me and then you say you miss me.
You used me, confuse me but you don't want to lose me.

Don't talk to me.
Don't acknowledge me anymore.
I'm just another score.

I used to be all nice and sweet.
Giving everything you want and need.
I can't believe I did it all for nothing.

Now I'm bitter I can't take no more.
Don't blame this on your bad childhood.
That doesn't justify what you did to me.

I will run away if you stay.
Screw your head on straight so it stays.

"Ah...the song,totally fit some parts of my life and yes some of u may know who it goes out to...So yeah..and to everyone else who had used some others as their plaster of boredom to fill in their loneliness"

[Music Blasting: Coldplay - In My Place ] [ Mood :-: LaL ]

Wow..amazingly I stayed home today...Madness ey? Nothin' much happened today except that Malek says that he wants to slack and ton the night..but then,no calls from him..so fuck it. Ngast! Chatted with Shammie on the net but then again..she was in one of her bad moods..so it was a bad chatting..so it's okay...I don't wanna be mad or angry about it..cuz everybody does that.

Right now,sitting in front of the comp..not knowing what to do..and damn..it's getting boring. *sigh*. Wow,it's really gettin' boring and slackin' is seriously killing me cuz it's like..there's no where else to go..and not much of people to slack with. It's always either town...Starbucks Sommerset...Mitre Hotel...BK Century Square...Bedok Skate Park..or some other void decks. Should I explore more on singapore..hmm...ntah ah eh. Shits..lotsa shits..shit shit shit...*SPLAT* HOLY SHIT! Ngast! boredom makes peopl talk crap..just look at my journal...it's fuckin' boring..the same old thing..it's no longer like a fuckin journal..it's like a log book or something...

8:15am : breakfast and tv
9.00am: Chat on the comp
11:00am: Taken my shower and head down to town

Bla bla bla..that kinda log thingy....NGAST!

Okay I'm outta here,got nothin in mind to type out anything.

Holy shmoly...it's like comin' to 11 now. I had the nicest sleep today...got my rest..caught up with my sleep again... Hehehe,Cuz I've been out for the past nights..I'm always out..never at home..cuz everytime I'm ouside..I don't feel like comin' home..that's madness. Just had my breakfast...about a few packets of Indo Mee Goreng...the instang noodle thingy.. Hehe...Boleh tahan teruk lah..at least I have something to eat.

Yesterday,I hanged out with Didi and played some card games. We switch between "stress" and "taitee" but we played stress more. Yesterday there was some kind of a comp going on at the skate comp in Bedok..I saw the wall placed there...and there were climbers..so my guess was,it was a rock climbing comp...Cuz I don't see any skaters using the vert. So yeah..there it was..Slacked with didi in bedok..soon after that..went to Tamp to meet up with Dil...to take my keys. Hanged out and Tamp..and went up that place...shit I've forgotten the name...whatever it is...to play CS..And we did..and suddenly..mad Wan (dil's brother) and Am in there. Played a couple of maps and rounds...till they went off..so we left. Went down to Dzul Divine's house cuz Am wanted to take something. Then slack..bla bla bla..and I went home.

So here I am today...yesterday..was like the only day i went back early...well..not that early..but it's still early for me..around 12 plus I got home. So yeah..cool ain't it? Hehehe...Okay then..I'm off..to do some online..interaction with some people...(chatting)...

Cheers!

HUARGH!!! Hahahah..yeah!! Yesterday..I had the time of my life! Went out slackin' with Pluggy,Didi,Shammie,Sammy,Din,IK,Fan,Azri... And it was madness...Hanged out and there was laughter all the way...Din was like...laggin' yesterday..hehe..cuz it was like..whenever we talk..he would response like seconds later and with his blur look and cute teddy-like features...that made it all funny. Sammy dropped by for a while cuz he had to go jammin' in the evening with One-Eighty and Dan dropped by for a while when he came along with Din. Talked about almost everything and it was madness..but one thing that left me so outcast...School...they were talkin' about school and I was like..."Uh...Shit...I ain't schoolin'...ain't got much to say..so..erm..." That kinda shit..hehe. When I first arrived there...I didn't say much to Shammie cuz I feel kinda awkward after the lectures she gave me...Not saying those lectures are bad cuz they're for my own good but I simply felt weird and awkward to talk to her... But after a while..as time goes by...the ice slowly melted and we slowly began to talk to each other. I don't know if that was a good sign or a good thing..but to me...it's good..cuz we're talking again...but..Ntah lah.

As soon as evening comes..I took out my deck of cards...and started playing "stress"..First up was with pluggy..and well..it was stressful...hehe...and then Shammie slowly understands the game and she tries it out..and to see her play is kinda funny and cute in a way...she was like all excited and panicking on which cards to put..hehe..and she's always confused between the King,Queen & Jack... It was madness....but overall..I guessed that yesterday's slackin' session..did make everyone's day.

Soon after that,went back home to meet my neighbourhood mates. Hanged out with them,talk shit...talk about problems...and played pool... Stayed out till like 4 plus in the morning...and by that was when I went home. Haig Road is like...so not dead even in the late hours...Houses still have lights switched on..and there's still like people walkin' around and yesterday..saw some people arguing and fighting with a Cabbie... But me and my mates,we can't be bothered by it.

Hmmm...Friday...which is..today...what should I do? It's like..fuckin' boring. Where should I go? What should I do? Stay home..or outside...I'd choose outside. And most real..my fuckin' keys are still at Dil's place..and I need them badly..cuz everytime I go out...comin' back would be a problem..cuz I have to press the bell of my door and stuff..so it's like..troublesome. Dil..if ur readin' this..I need those keys back dude! Hehehe... allrighty,that's enough for today's entry...I'm outta here!

Peace Out!

Ah madness! I'm blogging again...buahahahahaha..yeah! Got off from Dil's place around..3...took the bus to Sengkang Interchange with IK...and then took 87 back to his place... Took his handphone...borrowed the phone cuz my phone's down..So IK..Once again..THANKS FOR THE PHONE DUDE! Ur Smoth!! hahahaha...Got home..around 4 plus.

Only to realize..that I left my keys at Dil's place...how amazing...Took everything else...but the key..Nice Hezwan..nice! So as i got home,looked at the carpark...No sign of both my dad's and brother's car..so another words..no one's home..How nice? As soon as I reached the doorstep,I saw the windows closed (normally my mom does this when no one is around thinking there might be fire cuz people smoke and tend to throw the butt anyhow)...So there I was..stranded outside..at the door...with no cash and no companion. Luckily there was a seat outside that my dad made long ago...So i sat there...listening to No Direction's new recording and spotting mistakes and stuff..after a while..I got fuckin' bored and I needed to do something..So i went down..went to the coffee shop across the street. Ain't got dough..so i told the lady that I'll owe her some cash for the ciggies...So yeah..got my ciggies and went back up..still no one's home...sat outside again..till I got bored,went down..chill out at the stoned sits below..like one lost boy..and listen to my discman (same old stuff again) and smoke away. While doing that,as always..thoughts runs through my mind...Stupid thoughts,crazy thoughts and other shit. around 8 plus,saw my bro's car drivin' in. So yeah..got home...finally. From 4 plus to 8 plus..wow! How amazing...Boredom! Got back home,tested the phone that IK lend to me...it works..so I search for my SIM card..and fuck..it's not around..it's in my dad's phone. And now,I don't have a clue on where he puts it...so fuck! I can't read my messages for now,have to wait for my dad!

So here I am,with no phone...bored with nothing to do...listening to Emo Songs...typing out this blog. *sigh* What a life...yeah yeah..what? Yeah..totally I have no life..agaiN? yeap..I should get a life...DAMN! *sigh* Wonder what pluggy's doing...been a long time..wonder how she's coping with her new classmates...(she stayed back remember? Pity her...she should pass but i don't know how that happened) Pluggy...tahan aje...hehehe...

Well then mates...gotta go off...peace out..chill out..whatever! i'm outta here...SEE YA!

NgASt! Whoa~~ Just woke up...around 10+ and I'm like stoned and my eyes are teary.Damn! I still ain't got a phone,it went dead cuz my stupid cat peed on it.Of all the things,why my phone? There it was,innocently charging on top of the box and that box,happened to be my cat's target and wow! Some of the "holy" juice of the cat got onto my phone,into it and now...damaged my phone. Felt so naked without my phone,it's like,something's missing. Can't message,can't get messages,can't call out and I can get any calls. Can't make phonecalls to my contacts cuz all of the numbers,are in my phone and I ain't a good person to remember things so yeah...FUCK!

I'm not at home again,I'm at Dilah's. Well, I don't know how I ended up here...hehe,maybe it's the boredom that drives me to sleepover. Yesterday went out to slack with Dil,Nora and IK at BK in Tampines...Slacked there till about 4 plus where Dil decided to jam...for fun so we asked Sammy and Tweet along...Poor them,they just came back from school. Arrived there in BMC and saw many other people...Incoincidence jammed,Acap was there and later Suhayl came and while we were jammin'...Inn and Sabrina came. WoW! We jammed and played some songs from NoFX,Finch,Slickshoes,Ataris and some crappy stuff...hehe. Had fun though. After our session,we went over next door cuz Suhayl,Inn,Rab and Sabrina was were jammin'. And WoW! They played "Downside Emotions" hehehe... After that whole session thingy..sat outside for awhile and Sabrina showed me this pendant thingy she was wearing around her neck. It was from Inn...and without realizing,they've been together for one month...WOW! Felt a li'l bit of lalness in me after what she told me but then...fuck it! Went to Tampines S-11 and ate there. Met D'omar,Sofyn,Dzafir and Fidah...Suprisingly...

After the eating,the crapping,the madness we decided to go off and before that,Dilah was like saying..."Ton rumah aku ah...serious..SERIOUS" hehe...so yeah..I somehow got psychoed to go and IK came along. Search for cash in my "piggy bank" a.k.a left pocket of my berms and wow! Without realizing,I got like more than 8 bucks in there...bought ciggies and we set off. So here I am now...sitting in front of the comp with Dil and IK still asleep...

Should go off around 12 plus or something cuz Dil's workin' today...night shift. So yeah,I guess I typed out too much...so...till then!

Cheers!

[ Music Blasting : Penfold - Breathing Lessons ] [ Mood :-: Mad/Angry/Bored ]

I don't know why but I'm feelin' kinda sucky....Chatted with someone new just now and she happens to know Fareza...whom happens to know pluggy too...so wow! Yeah..she saw me when I hanged out with Pluggy the other day...hehe...What a small world ey? Totally a small world.... I ain't got much of a plan today,hate my bother for being such a jerkoff...he can go fuck his own ass with a barrelled gun...that's one thing for sure. I hate him soo much,just wished somehow..that he got into some kind of an accident or something..and he simply die off..or simply...he should just get the fuck out of here...get married or something... Right now...sittin in front of the comp..since like...what?...8 plus in the morning..how amazing can that be...For the past few nights..I've not been sleeping at home..that's the best part! It's either I'm sleeping at a friend's place..or simply hanging out outside..at void decks..parks or some places...talking shit..or doing crap..hehehe...That's what I do...these days..life's the same old thing..nothin' exciting..no one new...well..maybe a few..but then..nothin' much...and the band..well..doing okay...Bernard's getting a new guitar..and I'm suppose to get a new guitar...Bernard was telling me to sell off my Washburn and my trumpet...but i simply don't know how to do it...

Good Idea though..sell it off..and get that Epiphone I've always wanted. *sigh* Loads of crazy shit been happening these days...complicated life stories from my friends...heartbreakin' moments for some...thoughts of loved one..can crush u like tons of bricks falling onto u. Kinda true..but fuck it..life is this way..it's how it is..I'm sure those veterans...old skool people...the seniors i mean...I'm sure they went through a whole load of shit like these before they finally settlled down in their final moments of their lifes....I'm getting bored...I ain't schooling..and i ain't got anything...The guys started school and now...there's like lesser people for me to slack with..amazing huh? Shit..it's pretty boring..i guess I'll go do something stupid right now...peace out peeps! and Do take care!

Cheers Mate!

Whia!! I was feeling wonked just now! Had a couple of drinks and well...I floated away...sorta...I'm at Anu?allison's place right now,,,having some sort of a surprise party for Shain...hehe. It's a big bunch down here. Dzafir,B,Tweet,Mon,Fidah,Shain,D'omar,Yan,Yam,Allison,Yam,Mira,Lutfi,Hidir,Farizwan,Dewi,Elfrie,Akram,Didi,Sofyn...WoW! Talking bout big bunch! Hehehe. Right now I'm sitting in the room together with Akram and D'omar...typing out my blog.Running out of Ciggies...Damn! Should have bought it just now and damn Simei is such a place where there's no shops that opens up at night...Blardee Bun! For the past three days I wasn't home...and I didn't take out my lens...So right now..my eyes are fuckin' hurt! Three days back...I went out to Mitre..and didn't come home...the second day...Hanged out at Tamp for that whole day..went to my brother's place to sleeover...went back today....and only for a short while..and here I am...Jammed just now..and then to here... Whoa..big day! Hehehe..Madness I tell ya! I don't feel like going home... I guess that I'll be staying the night here..
And most real,just now,on the way to this place...Pluggy called me up saying that she was bored..hehe..no one's home and she didn't go out..and WHOA! Get to talk to her for some time..it's been a long time since that happened... Her school's starting soon and she told me that her schedule is fuckin' tight...so I guess that it's lesser time to hang out with her. Madness! Again.... My eyes are still fuckin' hurt! Damn! Well then,I guess that Allison's gotta use the comp now..so I'm off..be back again! Peace out!

CHEERS!

That past entry...was a waaaay back entry that I've been trying to put in..but I can't cuz there was something wrong with my I.E or something..can't click on the post & publish thingy. Well..had a good sleep yesterday...sorta...hehe..for the past few days...I'm sure u guys have not been reading my blog..so I'm back! Ngeheheheh! Today I'll be hanging out at Mitre again...but this time..with a different bunch...sammy,IK,Mint,Nuwul,Irma,Tweet,Mon,Hafiz & Syawal...so we're simply hangin' out there...sorta just spending the last moments before this bunch goes to school. I'm gonna be all alone again once they go in. madness! But I'll manage....well then..so much for this sudden new entry...so well...here I go..Peace!

Ok..Bye?

Whoa~~ Just read my guestbook..and *SMACK* that was a hard slap right in the face! And dude...thanks to u..whoever u are..u woke me up man! I mean..what u say..is true..I'm much of a loser...and Yeah..I'm one lost and confused dude...Totally man...can't decide on who I want..what I want...and stuff... man..Got nothing much to say on that..I mean..that was a real hard reality-check-slap-in-the-face. Well...okay..whoa...Okay..enough! Man..can't get that slap outta my head..but dude..thanks again man..u woke me up!

Well..besides that..I've been sittin' at home with nothin' to do... and guess what? I've been home for the past two days..GOD DAMN! I can't stay home! I gotta get out..I gotta go somewhere tomorrow! Seriously,nearly "died" of boredom just now! For two days..I'm home..with nuts to do...Fuck damn! Well..nothin' much have been happening...For Sabrina..not been talking to her or meeting up with her lately...I'm just making my self disappear for a while before I get myself together again and ready to face her again... I'm letting her be happy with Inn..and letting her forget me...or maybe she doesn't miss me at all...hahaha..whatever it is..i gotta life to go on with...And yeah..Move on..that's the word! FREEDOM!!! hahahahahh woo hoo!! yeah!! Maybe should slack with them one day...just for old time sake..hehe...madnesss! But most real..I'm fuckin' bored! That's what it is! BOREDOM! Got...to..get...out..of here...!

And to that dude who just sign into my guestbook...he typed in his name as _|_ ... So dude...message me back in my guestbook man..I wanna say thanks to ya!! u really slash me in the heart..but it got me in the head as well...u've knocked some sense into my head! REALITY CHECK!! HAHAHAHA..I'm back to the real world baby!...the happy me! YEAH!

CHEERS MATE!

“Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone,
who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces,
so you could be whole again...
it's just a matter of when that person will appear...”

What the fuck? It's like so early in the morning and I'm wide awake?! Oh,well..not really..WIDE awake...but awake. Couldn't sleep well yesterday night...I was tossing and turning on my bed. Maybe it was too hot or something. Woke up around 7 plus in the morning today. So I gave up on trying to sleep again and here I am... In front of my comp. Damn,I was hoping I have a better sleep cuz yesterday I went back a li'l late.

As usual,Saturday is No Direction's day... Automatically it should be acknowledged that Saturday is No Direction's day. It's a day when Bernard books out from camp and gets to spend his time outside. So we dropped by his place earlier yesterday and we jammed and believe it or not,I've forgotten some of my parts and that sucks. Tried out new stuff and tried adding in something new and it all sounded...well...better. Went to Plaza Singapura to catch a movie...Just the 8 of us...No Direction + Sofin,Mon,Fattah and Shain. Went to watch Ju'on and well...can say that the show's kinda freaky but seriously...it can make someone easily lost in the cinema. The movie jumps a lot as in..from one part to another then back to this part...so it's kinda complicated and the ending..seriously..sucks. Fattah and I were laughing and making jokes about the show while we were in the cinema...It was whacked! Laughing outloud till someone had to "hush" us down.

After the show sorta just chill out and being lost until Tweet and Mon decided to have dinner. So we head down to BK in Cineleisure. Sat there,had dinner,Fidah joined us...sat there again...and then moved outside to Long John's Silver's area...sat there..chat up..waited for Yan. After a while,we went to Mitre Hotel...hoping that it was open so that we could slack there but when we came..it was closed. So we ordered some drinks and sat down outside. After this and that...we went out..walked out...Sofin,Dzafir,D'omar and Yan took off first in the cab while Fattah,Shain,Bernard and I walked out to City Hall. We walked like from Youth Park area to City Hall.... And I was sleepy and I couldn't take it anymore so I told the guys,I'm takin' the cab. The three of them keep on walking... Flagged down the cab and head home.

So here I am... I'll be tonning at Dil's place today together with Sammy and IK... Just us,guys hangin' out. There'll be a gig today...wanted to go..but then...nah..I'll pass for some reason. Well,to those that went to the gig today... Hope u guys enjoyed it...(By the time u guys read this I'm sure that it's after the gig) So I'll be stayin' home and do...nuts here. That's all for now...

Cheers!

3:17am...and I'm still not asleep yet. Did nothin' much besides downloading more of Jackass episodes. They're bunch of sick fucks! Yesterday I did nothing much...Besides jamming...with First Chapter,I went slackin' at BK Century Square. Jammed the last time before Firdaus goes away to Australia for a family trip...WoW! A trip to Aus! I still can't get some thoughts our of my head...Why is it bothering me..this much?

Pluggy came along to our jamming yesterday...and well...after got that lecture from her and all I've realised that some things...I just got to let go. Not all good things stay...most of 'em...comes to an end. I got to let my feelings go for pluggy and just keep that good memories i had with her... Somethings,simply won't come back. *sigh*... But had fun with her though...when I hanged out with her,IK,Dil and Mint...It's been quite some time since I've hanged out with pluggy. I missed that,a lot! Talked crap with her,sang along to the music that's blasting from IK's small speakers...madness. That somehow,got my mind off things for a while but after I came back home...the thoughts came back. About what just happened..between me and her...It's just...sad...But hey...that's what she wants,I can't force her to decide on other decisions. Right? So yeah...there it goes...

I called Shammie up yesterday hoping that I could chat up with her and all...but my attempts...failed. Called about 4 times or 5...but her phone was...god knows what? so i gave up and kinda disappointed that I wasn't enable to chat up with her. I was very touched by Shammie when she approached me two days back in IRC and asked me...am I okay. That was really nice of her...I mean,after what i did and all...she actually approached me and asked me whether I'm okay. Where was I when she needed someone?...I suck! Like I've said before...Shammie's a nice girl and she deserves someone better than this lost and confused guy (me). That's enough of it,can't say more here.

Bernard called me up just now when he was in camp...he was telling me about his stories there..during his Rifle Ranging moments...hehe...Shooting and all..being the "bobo" shooter because the lights doesn't flash on the target...hehehe...Madness...

Should I go tomorrow? Or should I not? She needed someone to accompany her to town for a job interview and she asked me...why? I'd love to go so that i can see her but the question is...can I take it? can I take the fact that...argh...nevermind..just forget what I said...I know i can simply press on backspace and delete what I've just typed out...but I want this entry..as real as how I say out..or think of..so yeah..there u go.

It's gonna be early morning soon...and my body's aching and eyes getting heavier. So I'm going off now...farewell!

Once again,to the people in #emo...I love u guys! Thanks for cheering people up whenever they're down...and to Shammie...I really appreciate what u did...Thank you...

[ Mood :-: Shocked/Stunned/Sad ]

Just got the news...it hits me hard in the face. I've always wanted the answers slapping right me in the face...and well,it did. Real hard. It smacks ya really hard! It's like,ten knives stabbing onto ur heart and tons of bricks being dropped onto ur heart... WoW! Talked to her just now...thinking that it was like any other day. So...yeah..called her up..and talked to her..and she told me that she wanted to say something to me today. Thinking that it was good and all...but I felt it...I felt it comin' long ago and it's only that I'm too stubborn to see it. I don't blame her...it was a tough choice. I took it real hard and my faced was stained with that salty tears. I mean..it was fair. A fair "game" I guess. He was the better guy...I guess that's why she chose him and not me. But i guess..I'm okay with it.

Some of u reading this..might be saying..."U deserve this wan,I told ya long ago not to be in this shit..." Yeah yeah,Some of u guys reading this,might even be laughing...And I admit my stupidity...but i can't,my feelings got too strong for her. It simply...sucks...and I ain't blaming anyone else..but myself. i thought that something was going on between me and her...I felt that I was making progress and I believed that things are going to be okay... Whatever it is...

She with him now... They're together...and I'm glad cuz it cuts out the stress for her on who to decide on. And well,I wished them the best of luck and hope for them to be happy together. I'm sure they will,cuz they seem happy together..so okay..that's cool. *sigh* i guess that my love life just sucks ey? Well,I guess...for now,I would turn to being single...It's easier..it's care free and not much to think about.. but sometimes..loneliness..kicks in. So..I've conlcluded..whatever comes..it comes...whatever goes..goes away..whatever stays..stays.

All the hurtings...I guess..killed my feelings. I feel so numbed these days...and god knows why. *sigh*...so...fuck it ah...Life have to go on! So YEAH!! WOO HOO!!! FUCK IT!!

Cheers to everyone out there...and to those singles...I'm joining the club!! WOO HOO!! but then..can I be a part-time member? WoO hoo!! yeah!! WHATEVER! And to those couples! Best of luck in everything!! Best wishes! And have great dishes(huh?)!! PEACE OUT!!

It's a Wednesday morning and I ain't got much to do. I've not been keeping in touch with the band's site. Ah mad! Yesterday I hanged out with him and her and a three other friends of mine. I went out with her to Mustafa Centre to check out the Fred Perry that she wanted to buy. She want pink,but pink wasn't available. So we went to Tampines after that...Had a long ride with her in the bus...and that was great cuz that's like the longest moment in the bus after it was quite some time since I've last spent time with her like that. but soon that good ride was sorta cut short...cuz he came up the bus and well,I can't do much except to just sit and be stone about things. Went to Tamp,walked around with her for a while,sorta did a winow shopping. Went to Toys'R'Us and had fun there. hehe,Pretending we were knights and all. Slacked at BK Century Square,sat down,talked crap and all...Laughter and everything. i wanted to send her home so much...But I guess,he took that idea first. So he sent her home. There's always other days for me to send her home. *sigh* Life can be tough at times ay? Well,just have to live with that.

Today,I ain't got much of a plan,maybe I'll meet up with her or something or maybe I just go out alone? Or maybe I'll just stay home...It's been sometime since i've slacked with Dzafir...Maybe I'll ask him.

Till then,I'll bit u all farewell...

Okay bye?

WoW! Today I'm going out with that someone...And I'm glad...told her everything and well it sorta lifted things off my chest. And well,I gotta move on from the past. And wow,having a blog...Is like...when somebody reads it...and someone who doesn't read it can know..cuz hey,words do go around. Yesterday,after jammin' with First Chapter,I went slackin' with IK at Bedok Skate Park. And soon,Mint joined us,followed by Fan...and then...Tweet. We slacked till about 11 plus when Mint and Tweet left off and it's left with me and IK. Thaught him on how to play the card game called "Stressed" and I'm the one who gets trashed in the end...Hehehe.. it was madness...Ton with him till about 3 plus in the morning..or was it 4...well it was somewhere there... Slack around,lie down at the park there...talk crap..shout out stuff while everyone else was asleep in that area...and we play stress again..and we sing crap..hahaha..madness I'll tell ya!

Well then,i gotta go off folks...wish me luck in everything..I hope I'll get what I want...So..PEACE OUT!! I'm off to see her! WOO HOO!!!

Offheidesen! Und Guten Tag!!

Lost,Confused,Doubtful,Curious,Paranoia...What else?

Feelings...Lost and mixed up feelings that made me went crazy for a while. Shit happens ey? *sigh* Saturday...which was two days back..Went out with No Direction and Family... It was great to see Ina again cuz I sorta miss that girl. And well,argued with pluggy again! All she did was...saying hi to me in an SMS form. But me,being sarcastic asked her on why the sudden hi? After the long disappearance. And we argued from there,I raised up the past and saying about the changes that she had made. I don't even know why did I pick a fight with her. i guess that I missed her too much that i felt so angry that i don't get to be with her anymore. I know that's a lame thought but that was how I felt. I can't deny that i still love her and care for her but fuck,i gotta move on cuz she already moved on,long ago...why am I not moving on? She was too special..and she still is. I didn't want to lose her during that argument..cuz I know that I've lost her once before...and now,I don't want to lose her..again..as a friend this time. I'm glad that things went out okay...and things went back to normal. She called me up last night..and well,we chatted up...in a normal tone..and things was back to normal. Ngast!

My thoughts are now,having doubts with this someone new... Most of u should know right now,whom I'm liking and going out right now...And some of u know that there's another party involved. I'm hangin' on...cuz I still see hope but I ain't putting my hopes high up. She went out with him and I went out with her. Whenever she's with him...i get all jealous and my mind goes wild...having all this crazy thoughts and ideas...and sense of insecurity... And i guess,it goes the same for him when I go out with her. Let's just see how it goes...I'll stand strong...i hope...

For shammie,I guess she hates me now ey? Cuz we don't seem to talk anymore..it's like we're back to being strangers like how we first met. i read her blog...and I love the way she writes her blog. Shammie,if ur reading this,ur a great writer...I like ur style. And ur poems,although I'm not a poet but u did touched me with ur words... But some,it does slash me deep in the chest though...but some..do put smiles on my face. Anyways...I'm sorry for what I've done,I was a total disaster to myself and i ruined ur life once...I'm very sorry for everything...

And one more thing readers...the bus stop theory...it's a total rip off like what Shammie said...except that I've changed the theory a li'l... So orginally,it belongs to shammie...Once again,sorry shammie for using ur theory.

Right now,I'm lost in life...seriously,I seriously don't know what to do anymore. All i do is,slack...slack..and slack...ton here..ton there...Come home late. And it's like,I'm never home every single fuckin' day.Always out... Earliest time is like what..12 and then I'd go home around 2 plus..or 3 or sometimes 6 plus. What the hell am I turning into? Whatever it is,I'm still trying to understand my true self. Trying to find what am I really like..and who am I really...

And to everyone I've offended in any ways...I'm really sorry.
To the kids of #emo...I'd like to say thanks for being so concerned for everyone whenever they're down...u guys are the bestest group of friends I've had.

Cheers mate!

[ Music Blasting : Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Jumpin' Jack ] [ Mood :-: A-Okay ]

WoW! It's been such a long time that I've not been typin' in my shit. Whoa~~~ And many things had happened,lots of confusions and all! Problems,broken hearts and many more...so folks,u've been missing out on things...Yee hee(What the hell is yee hee?)

The things between me and Pluggy,I've found out from her that she doesn't like Sabrina and I hate that...It hurts,I mean if it's me...I know what's going on,I would give blessings but not hate. Pluggy seems to be doing this thingy to make me hate her or something or what's worse...She hates me? But most real,as Dil always says,FUCK IT. I ain't gonna care about her that much anymore. She has Azri for goodness sake,Hezwan...It's okay,don't care about her,drift away... If she wants to do that...I play the same game too. Azri can take care of her and all... So...FUCK IT! Farewell Pluggy. The girl that I once knew her as this crazy,mad gig-going girl who always wear jeans and t-shirts and who doesn't go clubbing but now...well...she changed,people change...but for the two years I've known her,she was always this jeans and t-shirt girl but fuck,now look at her... She wears skirts...and spaghetti top.I mean..what the fuck?! But that's her life,so fuck it! And come to think of it...I look at her,she's better off wearing t-shirts and jeans...Cuz u know why? When I looked at her wearingg that spaghetti top...She looks like an Indo maid...last time,I didn't notice that and always siding her when my friends made fun of her. God,Was I blind or what?! "We'll always be best friends..." Fuck it ah eh,right now,it's more like friends only. If that's what she wants,then I give it to her...I say all this,like I hate her,I don't really hate her...but god damn,why was she that special to me? WHY?! Till now,I still do love her and I still care but she just didn't realise that or maybe she's simply ignorant that she just don't care about how I feel. Sometimes I wonder,does she miss me,does she even thought of me? Cuz I know,I do...And most real,she's going clubbing these days..amazing! Hendrix and all...WoW! The girl that once said..."This will be the first and the last time I'll ever go clubbing..." <--- yeah right! Whatever it is...Blah!!

Ah fuck,feeling fucked up now,I guess I'll stop here...

"Bus-Stop Theory On Love : When ur in love with that someone...and u can't move on after the break up,the reason being that u really really loved her. And ur hoping that when u wait,she'll come back to ya. Now this is where my bus-stop theory kicks in. Ur from Destination A and u have to get to Destination B...U take the first bus (This bus happens to be ur ex) and u need to take two bus to get to destination B. Halfway through ur relationship,things turns sour and everything sucks and u guys break off.Sitting at the bus stop,alone waiting and hoping that the first bus u took,would come back and fetch ya home(Waiting for ur ex can be a nice and great thing to do but if she has moved on,don't wait there like a fool hoping that she'll come back).So rather then waiting at the bus stop,the second bus comes by(Any girls/guys that might come by ur life,and things sparks up,go for that open door opportunity)Take that bus,and go on to Destination B... Slowly,That bus stop will go further away....and u'll slowly reach ur destination. Another words,That's moving on..."